One Simple Tip to A Better Life

The girl I was with recently said, ‘How are you so confident?’

The truth is, I don’t know. The majority of my life was spent an unconfident mess. There is something wrong with being unconfident.

In my last article, I referred to being confident as absolutely essential to getting a job. In general, I believe that confidence is essential to leading a fulfilled life.

Confidence allows you to decide what you want and when you want it. It allows you to grow as person.

So few people are confident. People are scared or worried of everything. I was scared of failing, scared of embarrassment, and scared of rejection.

But, it was my job to overcome it.

I tried to retrace my journey towards confidence. Here’s what I came up with:

A) Friends

When I was a teenager, my mom wanted to inspect my friends. She made sure that I didn’t associate with ‘bad people.’ At that time it meant, ‘the thugs that drank on park benches.’

She realized that friends DIRECTLY impacted a person. Whether they are positive or negative influences, they eventually rub off on you.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

If you want to be confident, it starts with your inner circle. I was fortunate enough to stumble into my circle. It consists of extremely confident and positive people. They have had profound effects on my personality.

I urge you to shed the toxic, negative relationships in your life and pursue ones that will impact you positively.

B) Absorb Knowledge

PURSUE IT. I know it sounds simple, but most don’t do it. Learn everything you possibly can. Start by reading or watching ‘how-to’ videos or interviewing people.

Out of competency comes confidence. The more knowledge you possess, the more confident you will be. One of my earlier passions was politics.

I studied everything about government, economics, business, and war. I learned that everything the news was reporting was a complete nonsense. When political debates came up, I was confident in my knowledge.

I explained myself and stood for something. My ideas came from an area of confidence, which were backed by knowledge.

C) Reassure Yourself 

“I, Leroy Milton, will be confident today.”

That is one my affirmations that I recite every morning and night. It reminds me everyday that I have to be confident. This affirmation is like a goal for me.

I have to hit it everyday. I have to make sure that my confidence is tested everyday.

Even my mantra, “Be Bold, Be Free, and Love On,” is a reminder to myself. Being bold is the FIRST STEP, because only then will I be free to love.

D) Jump In

“What’s the worst that can happen?”

I wasn’t ‘taught’ how to swim. I got pushed into the deep-end at the tender age of nine. It was a type of Darwinian trial, but I’m still here and I can swim.

Plus, my dad wasn’t going to let me drown. I’ve realized that most of your ‘worst-case scenarios’ only exist in your head.

A girl slapping me in the face when I ask her out is far-fetched. The girl won’t publicly yell at me when I try to talk to her.

Sometimes, you just have to leap in feet first. Trial and error is the most effective way of learning. You can figure out what works and what doesn’t based on your personality.

There it is. I think that’s all of it. I’m sure there were more factors in my fabled journey to confidence, but nothing as significant as these.

Even though these scenarios only exist in my head, I’m still scared of failing, embarrassment and rejection. But in the end, it doesn’t matter.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

55 thoughts on “One Simple Tip to A Better Life

    1. “What-ifs,” in my opinion, is the reason why people don’t leap. The fear of the unknown is scary to most. But I think that this is only thing that will help you progress and achieve your goals!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. This is a brilliant article! All your points make so much sense. As someone who struggles with my confidence levels, I think the points in this article are a good place for me to start working on being more confident.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Think positive thoughts about confidence. Refer to yourself as a confidence person. Most of the time, these things can be solved just by changing the way you think about it!

      I know that you will be confident. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I tend to speak from a sexual perspective on things; and a person’s confidence can make or break their sex life. Confidence is seductive. The human tendency to enjoy being seduced permeates every aspect of our lives. Great post: learning to harness your confidence is the key to success in every aspect of life. I find a narcissist even more delicious, but that’s just because I tend to be one myself, lol.

    Like

    1. You’re right. I think being confident is integral in any relationship! It allows for difference of opinions, better sex, and in general, healthier relationships.

      Thank you very much for your comment. We truly appreciate it!

      Like

  3. Great steps to live by. I’m aware of them now that I’m in my 30s, but my 20-something year old self was quite unconfident and naive. Will use that line trick one of these days, but what if they have a big expensive order?? 😉

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    1. Being in my 20-somethings, I can definitely relate with being naive. I’m still in this huge process of learning and growing. In my opinion, this process never stops even when I enter my 30s, 60s, 120s! If they order something expensive, you’re just going to have to oblige. In the end, both parties must be happy.

      Like

  4. In the past year particularly, I have had to address my fear of the unknown (results of a lack of confidence….). The results have been very beneficial! I still deal with fear of the unknown, as a naturally timid person. However, with the gained experiences I am definitely a more confident individual (although that really didn’t take much). Coincidentally, I did it using some of the advice above. 🙂 Very helpful post, LeRoy, and that last line is great….

    Like

    1. The fear of the unknown exist within everyone, so don’t worry. You’re not alone. But, I suggest using that fear as YOUR driving factor. You should think of the fear as something that will help you progress. On one particular camping trip, there was a cliff leading into deep water. Standing on top of that, gave me chills and the time spent contemplating jumping was scary. The fear almost took over me. But I used that fear to push me towards excitement! Check out my older post, “Fear Forward” for more information! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. YOU 2 helpful guys are doing awesome!! 😀 😀
    So pleased!! LOVE what you are doing (all be I a touch envious of your skill at it- I am VERY glad someone is catching this much needed niche <3) BRAVO!
    You got all the right things going for you.
    Did I tell you I watched on of your vids with my 12 year old who LOVES youtube gags as you guys do… he LOVED it.
    One word: POTENTIAL

    Like

    1. You are so SUPER kind! This comment legitimately made me smile so hard.
      I’m so happy that you think we’re good. That kind of support so is
      appreciated. Thank you again.
      This goofy smile won’t leave my face for a while 🙂

      Like

  6. I am smiling as I am reading this well timed post today. I have also learned from the past that confidence is a major factor of living your life to the fullest. After getting insufficient hours over the last couple of Summers in the casual part time job I am in, which I love, I got this bold idea last night. I had been trying to get in touch with another company, in the same field, for weeks, only to find the manager was out whenever I rang them. I had heard from several staff I had talked to, that they were very busy and that there were people leaving. So when I found out yesterday that I was not working today, I decided to go in and visit them with a proposal. I was willing to offer a day of work for free, confident that I would blow them away with my abilities. They could then decide whether to hire me officially or not. I went in there, ready to work with my lunchbox in the car and finally got to talk to the manager. I was confident they would take the offer, after all, what did they have to lose? He went off to talk to the owner and came back after half an hour or so. They decided it was too risky and would only consider letting me work through the official channels! Due to the fact that it would not even cross my mind to put responsibility for my own actions and mistakes onto someone or something else, I totally forgot about liability! He told me my resume is on his desk and they would seriously consider if they could fit me in. I really hope my confidence pays off! Now the waiting game begins….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s amazing to hear and honestly incredibly smart. I’ve never thought of offering a free day of work! I think that would really work for most cases! Can I have permission to use that?

      I think the confidence will definitely pay off! You wanted something and you went out and decided to get it! THAT is confidence and that is the key towards a better life.

      You have chosen to take control of your life and if WILL pay off. I know that you will go far! Congratulations again! I’m super happy for you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Leroy, for your kind and encouraging words! I think, now I look back, that the idea came subconsciously from watching a lot of successful online personal development businesses that give you a heap of freebies to sample first and then come in with the sales pitch for their products with price tags. However, they usually don’t have that “brick and mortar” problem of LIABILITY if someone gets hurt on the job….. (maybe I should have prepared a disclaimer form before I went in, ha ha) I would love to hear how you go using it in real life too. If anything, it does improve the chances that they remember you as someone that is motivated and keen to work for them. Let me know if it works for you! I am still waiting to hear, but it has only been a day 🙂

        Like

  7. I agree– confidence does make life so much better. Yes, it’s a simple tip, but I think it takes a lot of work and introspection to truly attain. And even then, we are all human and have our insecurities. If I can use the 80-20 rule and apply it to my own confidence, it’s a pretty good life!

    Like

    1. It definitely takes a lot of work, you’re right. But like everything good in this world that you want, you have to be willing to put the work. You have to sit down and send some time really thinking about yourself. As you said, careful introspection is necessary. A lot of people don’t do it and hope things will change automatically. But nothing can change automatically. It does take real hard work for anything good.

      Like

    1. Thank you very much for your kind words! I try to come up with different ideas when I write my articles!
      I’m glad you took notice and I hope you’ve been helped in some small way! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Reblogged this on micahpena and commented:
    What a good day! I slep having trouble about future, worries and not to mention my suffering for self confidence. Aaand here it is. I woke up reading something that totally targets my fears. Though reading it makes me motivated, I have to be realitistic that it I won’t change overnight. Guess I’ll be needing a daily dose of these witty and eye opening messages until the day that I can say, “I am confident enough, it’s my turn to make other people realize how dumb it is to hide behind the bush of shame!”.

    Here micah. Read this again if you feel stupid enough to walk backwards and run away.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s great to hear! Small steps everyday is all you ned to make. Everyday, aim to be 1% better than you were yesterday.
      Everyone, can be just 1% better. If you like to know more, check out my recent article, “The 1% Rule and Systems vs. Goals.”

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I know that you will do great! If your stance is positive and assertive and guided by heart, you will go far.
      I truly believe that if you stand for something, you should not sit idly by!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Love this post. It really is a tip to a better life. I’ve always, and still struggle with confidence. I think it’s something you’ve got to teach yourself, not let anyone else influence. Figure out why you’re awesome, how to make yourself even more awesome, be honest with yourself and others, and pick a goal and chase it.

    That’s my formulation anyway 😄

    Like

    1. Those are all great tips! I personally love the one, “figure out why you’re awesome.” I personally feel like everyone is awesome! They just haven’t realized it yet. It’s a process of discovery, but when it’s found, their world will open up!
      You have a great outlook on it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly. In my office I have a whiteboard, and right now written at the bottom is “YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME!! Now prove it to yourself.” I like how it’s a daily reminder to strive to be your (my) most awesome self, which will in turn build confidence.

        Like

      2. EXACTLY. It’s very similar to my affirmations! In the end, you have to do what works for YOU. Any way of reminding yourself that you’re amazing will do! I love your perspective on this by the way! It’s really fresh! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on Sabrina's Road to…. and commented:
    I’m in total agreement about confidence. I’ve never given advice on how to gain confidence or be confident, but I am a firm advocate of being present and accountable in your own life.

    There are so many influences around us. I know my family, mainly my Mom played a huge part of how I saw myself. I wrote about it in another post, but the gist is….”You can do anything”. That’s confidence right there. Here was the most important person in my life telling me I can do anything. Well, if she thought so, then why would I doubt her? I grew up confident.

    Life does eventually beat us down, but it’s up to us to get ourselves up and back on that proverbial horse to forge ahead. I personally don’t do the daily affirmations, but I do give myself “pep talks” every once in a while to remind myself (outloud) why I’m doing what I’m doing.

    So, if you need a little nudge or a big nudge, take a read of this wonderful post from Leroy. Good advice to live by. 🙂

    Like

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