Being Confident Without Being Arrogant

We naturally assume that when someone has problems with confidence, it’s that they don’t have enough of it. But this isn’t always true.

Confidence, like most other traits, is a spectrum. You can have too little, which results in a low self esteem, or you can have too much which results in arrogance.
You can say hubris if you want to sound polite and fancy.

The key is to have a healthy confidence. Like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears you shouldn’t have too much or too little, but just enough.

Having a low self esteem can make you hate yourself, but being arrogant can make everyone else hate you.

Having a low self esteem can lead to:
Self sabotage, poor relationship and social skills, lack of assertiveness, neediness or dependence, and when it gets really bad it can lead to things like eating disorders and self harm.

But on the other end of the spectrum, arrogance can lead to:
An inability to handle criticism, a lack of empathy, having unreasonable expectations of favourable treatment and delusions of grandeur.

Which are all pretty undesirable personality traits.

Maintaining a healthy confidence is a fine line to walk and you need a lot of qualities. It’s accepting yourself even if you aren’t perfect. It’s having a healthy self-esteem, and it’s having the ability to go through life knowing deep down that for better or worse, you are who you are and that is okay.

So what are the three main qualities you need in order to walk that fine line between self deprecation and delusions of grandeur?

Humility

It can be hard to walk that fine line when you are really good at something. When you are winning your first reaction might be jumping up in the air screaming “Yes! Who’s the best!? I’m the best!”

But that is a sure fire way to look arrogant.

When you win, use humility to make others around you feel good. When you lose, use humility to know that you can always improve next time.

Respect

If you respect yourself and the people around you a healthy self-confidence is sure to follow.

Don’t put yourself in situations you don’t feel comfortable in and try not to put yourself down too often. Respect yourself in this way, as well as the people around you.

It might take time to develop this trait, but start by catching yourself whenever you aren’t showing respect to yourself or the people around you.

Generosity

We tend to have negative self-talk constantly. We spend so much time beating ourselves up that it’s no wonder we don’t have a healthy confidence.

Be generous in giving yourself compliments and pats on the back. And while you’re at it, be generous with others in this way.

A few kind words can go a long way to making your day—or someone else’s—a thousand times brighter.

With these three tips, we can feel good about ourselves without becoming arrogant in the process. We often tend live in one extreme or the other, but true happiness and lasting confidence comes from balance.

So exercise humility, show yourself some respect and be generous with kind words—you’ll build a foundation of self-confidence that will carry you throughout life.

A Sedentary Life WILL Inevitably Kill Us.

A set of common complaints most of us have are, ‘I have too many problems. I can’t deal with these problems. I wish I didn’t have so many problems. I wish my life were easier.’

But what is an easy life?

Is it a picture perfect neighborhood with white picket fences and perfectly groomed lawns? Is a life without problems and when they do arise, they’re solved like the ending of family sitcom?

Would that make us satisfied?

I think a life devoid of challenge, problems and tough times is far worse than any picturesque sitcom life. Such a life would not be satisfying mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

Life is meant to be challenging, difficult and arduous. Without these integral characteristics of life, we would often feel unfulfilled and unhappy.

All of our growth, progression and perspective in life directly erupt from our challenges and experiences. In these moments, all our mental and physical strength is galvanized towards a specific moment, as we harness the hidden power deep within ourselves to overcome any feat.

The perfect life leaves us sedentary. If we don’t constantly chase never-ending improvement, we will eventually become unsatisfied with our circumstances.

Soon we will start feeling unsatisfied with the white picket fences and the perfectly groomed lawns. Without real problems to challenge us, we will lose the drive to improve.

Perspective of Problems

Our problems gives us the opportunity to grow and improve, but only if we view them as such.

When we are faced with problems, we can feel and think only one of two ways-The positive or the negative.

Two Twins

Who we choose to embody will inevitably change our perspective. Weighing the circumstances, which person – the negative or the positive – will produce the better result?

Which perspective will make us stronger, or, conversely, weaker? In the ultimate end, who we embody is completely our choice.

We can choice to be wholly negative and wish for the picturesque white picket fences, or we can be wholly positive, push through our problems with great stride and grow stronger.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

jack

Cellphones Are Ruining Your Memories

Yesterday was my last day of my arduous university education. As I walked down the aisle adorned in a black and maroon gown, I noticed something strange.

Hundreds of parents proudly staring at their accomplished children, but not with their eyes, but through their tiny pixelated camera and cellphone screens.

Through their four-inch screens, they attempt to record and capture every single moment.

We have forgotten how to record treasured moments with our hearts and eyes. Instead of experiencing new delicacies, events, concerts and treasured memories first-hand, we choose to stare into our little screens to record and photograph every moment.

Moments are once in a lifetime

Why does time seamlessly pass as we age? Because somewhere along the line we forgot to savor the current moment.

We have become so caught up in capturing and immortalizing these experiences to share with our friends and family, that we forgot to immortalize them in our hearts.

Our memories of events are distant blurs because we never really experienced them. We view our most treasured memories through LCD screens.

We forget that moments can never truly last forever unless we experience them first-hand. Through human experience, they are immortalized.

When we proudly share our feelings of the moment they are solidified in our memories.

There will never be another university graduation, first birthday party or concert, the exact same as the previous one. These little moments, the minor alterations, are what makes our memories memorable.

No amount of recapping through our cellphones and cameras will make us relive that memory.

Truly savoring the moment first-hand is the unparalleled power of human experience. Truly being able to see, hear and feel the emotion and intensity in a room is what creates true memories.

Use technology sparingly

There is a fine line between excessive use and under-use. Everything in life is a spectrum. Too much technology limits the creation of true memories, while no technology reduces the ability to share our experiences.

We shouldn’t destroy our cellphones and revert back to the Stone Age. But we also shouldn’t use technology as a placeholder for the human experience.

We understand our devices are important for contacting loved ones, scheduling, recording memories and occasionally playing Clash of Clans. But that line is severely crossed when we spend the majority of a would-be treasured event experiencing it through four-inch screens.

So before we indulge in breath-taking food, enjoy our favorite musicians, or experience once-in-a-lifetime events, let us be wary of our devices, be grateful for the moment and begin to truly appreciate all that surrounds us.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

An Update From 2HelpfulGuys!

Hey guys and gals, some very exciting things are coming soon in the world of 2HelpfulGuys. We will be relaunching our YouTube, putting out new books, starting a newsletter and redesigning our website.

When we redesign our website we may not appear in your WordPress reader any longer so if you would like to continue to be updated on all of the new exciting things we will be doing (and get some exclusive content) please join our newsletter.

To join our newsletter Click Here and enter your e-mail. To thank you for joining us you will get a FREE digital copy of our new book ‘Not so F.A.Q.: Common Questions, Uncommonly Asked’

We are honored to have over 9,000 readers and hope that you continue to enjoy the content we provide.

As always, you can like us on Facebook and Twitter, and subscribe to us on YouTube to see our relaunch videos the moment they come out.

We look forward to continuing to grow together with you.

Sincerely,
2HelpfulGuys

Life As An Orange

On frequent occasions throughout the day, we encounter situations that make us frustrated, angry and resentful.

During these times, we blame the other individuals or external forces. We feel they are the source of our ill feelings. They made us feel this way.

We often think, without these people in our lives, we’d be better off.

Oranges.

When you squeeze an orange, naturally orange juice comes out. Why does it come out? Because that is exactly what is housed inside that delicious rind.

Let us think of our bodies as individual little oranges.

When people take jabs at us, poke us and make us feel frustrated, resentful or angry, it isn’t them that make us feel those feelings.

Like the orange, we already hold those feelings inside ourselves. The jabs from the world accentuate the feelings we inherently possess.

We allow feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment to live deep within us and lay dormant until the world is able to poke it out of us.

So then, how do we remedy our internal feelings? How do we take charge of our thoughts, feelings and actions and explode with happiness rather than anger?

We’ve come up with a few techniques to train our body and mind, shedding away any ill feelings that lay dormant.

A) Cancel Rule

In our many life experiences, we have encountered many jabs and pokes. In most cases, these scenarios are largely unavoidable. Sometimes, the people we spend the most time with are the worst for us.

While we advocate ways to change our circumstances, there are alternate methods without drastically cutting people out of our lives.

In our next dicey encounter, let us remember the Cancel Rule. When someone takes a jab we must rapidly and repeatedly yell ‘cancel’ inside our heads.

We cannot let their words penetrate our fleshy rind.

We must train our brain to cancel out their negative thoughts. We must never internalize them or let them sit inside our bodies.

Allowing such a scenario only adds to our pot of ill feelings. Use the Cancel Rule as a method to avoid internalization.

B) Deep Breathing

Our brains chase the easiest method to any scenario. When we encounter a less-than-stellar situation, we often get flustered and our breathing gets shallow.

Shallow breathing is a reaction when we’re angry or frustrated. The primary muscles, which facilitate breathing—diaphragm, abdomen, chest, and neck—are tense which limits free-flowing unconscious breathing.

As our negative thoughts continue to circle around our heads, our breathing inadvertently becomes shorter and quicker, only increasing the ill feelings.

When the world pokes at us, let us stop and think of our breathing. Let us fill our bellies up fully and slowly till our angry orange juice subsides.

Live long enough, and we’ll encounter our share of tough times. That’s okay. We all experience this from time-to-time. Ill feelings are relatively natural within us.

But imagine if we could control our thoughts, feelings and actions? Imagine if we could truly harness our ability to choose happiness over anger.

Well, we can. We believe this goal is relatively simple to achieve.

Through some diligent actions and positive thoughts, we are able change our internal orange juice.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

orange-quote-frank-sinatra