Details and outlines

My heart is pulled back and forth so easily. There is a woman that visits my work, she is so beautiful. Her eyes convey a sense of grace. She is a calm ocean, beautiful on the surface, but with depth unimaginable.
Her smile melts my heart.

I am too afraid to tell her my name. Normally I can talk to anyone but around her I go blank. I think I have built her up into something bigger than myself. I have to realize that she is just a person. Like all other people, she has quirks. She probably has a funny laugh, she probably eats in a weird way.
I don’t know.

We put others on a pedestal because we only ever see one side of them. We see them in 2D, while we see ourselves in every painstaking detail.
I wonder what she thinks of me?

She always sees me talking to people, I’m always sharing a laugh. Maybe she views ME on a pedestal. Nah. I want to ask her out so bad. I promised myself that I would ask her out the next time I saw her, but god called my bluff, she came in the very next day.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t manage to say my name, never mind ask her out. I feel like this is a metaphor for my whole life. I always promise myself that “Next time I will do this and that” but it never happens. I’m so afraid of everything. People think I am so outgoing, I am probably more insecure than 90% of people out there. Then again, I only see outlines. Shadows and reflections. Never the true image of another person.

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