Our Fears Are A Double-Edged Sword

I once watched a woman on Maury who was terrified of cotton balls. She would dream of a giant cotton ball man murdering her most nights.

She was so terrified that she hardly left the house. She succumbed to the fear and it consumed her entire life.

We all have fears. Some of us are terrified of spiders or heights and some fears are more rational than others.

My main fear is failure. I’m afraid of disappointing others, failing to accomplish my dreams and goals, and failing myself.

Failure will inevitably destroy us if we allow it. It has the power to paralyze our bodies and leave us broken and sedentary.

It makes us tremble, keeps us from leaping into new experiences and challenges. It debilitates our growth process and hinders our ability to learn.

These are my fears, and maybe if you experience the same ones, we can learn from them together.

A) Failure as a fellow human

Sometimes I am afraid that I am not enough for others. Sometimes I feel like I should do more, say more, and be more.

The thought of letting the people I love down feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to be more present, more appreciative and more loving.

Let us all aim to be stronger individuals towards others – friends, partners and strangers alike – and aim to impact each and every individual we encounter in a wholly positive manner.

B) Failure to pursue my passion

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never reach my goals. While these moments are seldom, they come rushing and almost overcome my entire being.

The thought of not reaching my potential feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to work harder, smarter and use my time wisely. We should never compromise our passion and life to pursue work that does not truly make us happy.

Let us all aim to pursue our passions, so our work-life and passions become intertwined into one sole entity.

Our energy and life is limited. Why should we spend one single moment not being completely content in our work life?

C) Failure as myself

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never be truly enough for myself. Sometimes insecurities resurface and it can be hard to wrap my head around it.

The thought of succumbing to my insecurities feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to battle the insecurities head on. Work through them one by one and leave them broken and battered on the floor.

Let us all cast away our insecurities in the successful attempt to grow into the strongest version of ourselves. Everyone has insecurities that resurface from time-to-time, but let us never allow time to wallow in them.

Fear as a Stepping-Stone

As debilitating as fear can be, it is completely necessary for us to grow and progress. Fear is an astounding motivator. It is our worst enemy, but it can also be our best friend.

When my fears of failure resurface, there are only two options: succumb and wallow or fight and grow.

The latter is more appealing than the former. Without our fears, we would never truly understand where our weak points lie and what we must do in order to grow. 

Even though the worst thing I can think of in life is failing others and myself, I am very grateful for all my fears. Without my fears, I would never truly understand the importance of presence, hard work, appreciativeness, passion and love.

However, while putting all this out in the universe, I wonder if there are others that fear the same things.

Or, maybe, all my fears are just as irrational as a giant cotton ball man murdering me.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

1 Daunting Method To Create a Stronger YOU

I have a confession to make.

This is something that we often feel, but seldom say. It is an inevitable part of life and something that can be our greatest motivator or our greatest hindrance.

I am afraid.

I am moving out on Friday and whilst crunching financial figures and assessing the rest of my life, everything is overwhelming.

The adult world seems daunting. Until now, I have been able to lean on my parents for love and support. Now I have to chase it using my own two feet.

Thoughts encircle my head, weighing down my consciousness, feelings and, in turn, governing my actions.

What if I fail? What if I go broke? What if I can’t manage or cope? What if something bad happens? 

I am afraid of it all.

However, inevitably, it is our choice to pursue a solitary path. One leads into a gloomy shadowed forest like something out of Lemony Snicket, while the other offers sunshine and rabbits, haphazardly prancing around lively shrubbery.

Feelings of insecurity are normal and should be welcomed. They possess the key to growth and, if we allow, can push us to the next phase of our lives. However, it can also paralyze us, until time itself eventually takes us.

The choice is ours.

Day-to-day, month-to-month and year-to-year, we are confronted with situations in which fear can take a firm grasp.

Maybe you want to start a business, but the fear of failure is overwhelming. Maybe you want to ask that person out, but you’re afraid of rejection. Maybe you want to quit your job, but you’re scared of the uncertain future.

I have realized in my short life that the feelings of fear, insecurity and uncertainty serve only one purpose – to push you, to challenge you and, inevitably, to grow you into the stronger version of yourself, mentally and physically.

When I am faced with a challenge, I have to take the leap – within sound reason.

The fear of failure, rejection and uncertainty pales in comparison when pondering the dreaded ‘what-if?’

Absolutely nothing can come from ‘what-if?’ There is no tangible answer to this question.

“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

No matter how bad the outcome, know at the very least, you will still be alive.

Today and everyday, I implore you to face your demons, your fears, your uncertainties, and all the judgmental onlookers.

Face your challenges, hold your head high, and pursue the strongest version of yourself. Limit the possibility of asking ‘what-if’ because those dreaded words will eat you up from the inside, out.

I’ve acknowledged these feelings within myself. But, it feels relieving to finalize verbalize it. A sense of ease floods into my being when I put it out to the masses.

Here at 2HelpfulGuys we try our earnest to help each and everyone in need through our words, videos and books.

Today, my dear readers, you have helped me. From the deepest and warmest portion of my heart, thank you.

Till next time,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

You don’t have a purpose, you live with it

By Deezel86 on deviantart

I have always struggled with the idea of purpose.

It makes me feel like I have to know exactly where I want to be in ten years, right now. I don’t know that. Even if I took a guess I could be completely wrong.

Are we supposed to plan this far ahead? Are we supposed to know exactly what we want our life to be like when we are out of high school?

I chose not to get a post secondary education because ever since I was young, a part of me knew that it wasn’t the path for me. I knew that I would not find my purpose in a classroom.

Fast forward, I am twenty-three, I have no idea what I am doing with my life.  I don’t know what my purpose is, it scares me. I want to walk up to strangers, grab them and yell “Are you as scared as I am? Sometimes I can’t sleep at night! Do you sleep at night?”

In the past I thought I knew my purpose.

When I was young I spent a lot of time in the hospital. The doctors were my heroes. I wanted to be like them when I grew up. After realizing that I hated school, I decided otherwise. I knew I wanted to help people, but that wasn’t the way I was going to accomplish it.

During my teenage years I wanted to be a world-famous musician. I spent hours upon hours teaching myself how to write music. I bought a drum set and started a band. It was hard. Getting five people to cooperate, or even get along, seemed a nearly impossible task.

At the break of my twenties I was working with my brother in a sales business he owned. It was an experience that taught me a lot, but it didn’t quite work out.

Now I’m just sitting here staring at this screen, anxious about the future.

I’ve been writing these blog posts lately, is this my purpose? Start a blog, write books, speak on tour, help people, die.
Does that sound fulfilling?

I’ve been down so many other paths that turned out to be dead ends. Who is to say that this isn’t a dead-end as well? What a depressing way to think.

When you look at your life with the intent of finding your one true “purpose”, you see all experiences that don’t contribute to it as a waste of time. They become meaningless.

I can’t live that way, these experiences have made me who I am. Through all of this stress, I have realized that I don’t want just one purpose.
It seems like a death sentence to me.

There are so many fallacies attached to the word “purpose” that everyone wants you to believe.

People are convinced at a young age that they have to decide what they want to be before the time they are done high school. They have so much stress put on them during a period where they finally have their first taste of freedom. I hadn’t even learned much about myself by this age, never mind plotting out my entire life course!

Colonel Sanders is responsible for a mega chain of fast food restaurants. Do you want to know what age he started said business at?
Sixty five.

That’s right. Before he was serving chicken he was a sixth-grade dropout, a farm hand, an army mule-tender, a locomotive fireman, a railroad worker, an aspiring lawyer, an insurance salesman, a ferryboat entrepreneur, a tire salesman, an amateur obstetrician, a political candidate, a gas station operator, and a motel operator.

Bill Wilson didn’t start Alcoholics Anonymous until he was forty. Alan Rickman, or Snape as you might know him, didn’t get his first acting role until he was forty-six. Stan lee didn’t have success writing comic books until he was forty-three.

Were these people just wandering aimlessly without a purpose until they became successful? Is their notable success the only thing that defines them?
I wouldn’t like to believe so.

Instead of looking for your one purpose, live each moment with purpose.

I didn’t become a doctor, but I still try to help people everyday. I’m not a world-famous musician, but I still express myself creatively.

Living with purpose allows you to do whatever matters to you right now, and if that changes in the future that’s okay. Do something different. You’ll grow and continue to feel fulfilled.

When you are living like this you need to have faith and realize that, though you may stumble, you will always be moving in the right direction.

Love your spouse with purpose, let them know you love them. Take them on dates, plan whole days you want to spend with them. Play with your kids with purpose. Try putting on a home puppet show, do something creative. Do the same at work, write thank you notes to employees who give that extra effort.

Every time someone asks me for advice, I try to put my soul into my answer. For that moment, helping that person is my purpose.

Purpose shouldn’t be something you search for out in the great beyond. It should be the lens which you see life through.

I wrote this because I didn’t want to stare at this screen feeling anxious anymore.

Maybe I won’t be writing forever, maybe I’ll move on to something different. I’m okay with that.

But if I am going to do something, I’m going to put my soul into it.
I’m going to do it with purpose.

 

 

Details and outlines

My heart is pulled back and forth so easily. There is a woman that visits my work, she is so beautiful. Her eyes convey a sense of grace. She is a calm ocean, beautiful on the surface, but with depth unimaginable.
Her smile melts my heart.

I am too afraid to tell her my name. Normally I can talk to anyone but around her I go blank. I think I have built her up into something bigger than myself. I have to realize that she is just a person. Like all other people, she has quirks. She probably has a funny laugh, she probably eats in a weird way.
I don’t know.

We put others on a pedestal because we only ever see one side of them. We see them in 2D, while we see ourselves in every painstaking detail.
I wonder what she thinks of me?

She always sees me talking to people, I’m always sharing a laugh. Maybe she views ME on a pedestal. Nah. I want to ask her out so bad. I promised myself that I would ask her out the next time I saw her, but god called my bluff, she came in the very next day.
And…

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t manage to say my name, never mind ask her out. I feel like this is a metaphor for my whole life. I always promise myself that “Next time I will do this and that” but it never happens. I’m so afraid of everything. People think I am so outgoing, I am probably more insecure than 90% of people out there. Then again, I only see outlines. Shadows and reflections. Never the true image of another person.