Quasi-Hipster

I went to a social gathering this past weekend and was called a quasi-hipster. After looking up what all those words meant, I am still very confused. I simply do not understand how or what makes a quasi-hipster.

Regardless of the matter, it started to make me think of body image. We get wrapped up in all these different styles and labels that we end up losing our individuality and, inevitably, ourselves. I am incredibly guilty of this.

I have changed my physical self more times than I can count. I used to be overweight and unhealthy. I’ve had multiple hairstyles. I’ve changed my clothing style. What more can I really change? What makes me constantly want to change?

The Media

I feel like people are not happy with who they are. Media destroys who you are and implants ideas of who you are supposed to be.

But those images are terrible for you. Avoiding media is an integral step. How? Media is literally everywhere. It’s impossible. Instead, limit your consumption. You can choose to avoid television or that specific image magazine. Reducing your consumption will decrease the thoughts about it.

When your heads soaks up these false body images it takes a toll on your brain. When I was younger, I used to look at fitness magazines, religiously. I have wanted a six-pack so badly. But, why? I felt a six-pack would complete me. But would a six-pack make me happy? Make me feel whole?

The short answer is no. I have realized that now. I don’t need a six-pack to be whole. I am great the way I am. So are you. A six-pack is a want. Attaining it or not will not change who I truly am. That is a mere want, not a need.

The Goals

It’s not that you can never attain your ideal body. I truly believe you can accomplish anything you want. But why change who you are? You are simply perfect the way you are.

Getting wrapped up in these ideals ruins your potential. Instead, believe that you are different and awesome. Attain inner happiness first. Be happy with yourself, for yourself. On those particularly bad days, write down all the goods things about you.

Here’s some help: I like my determination, personality, and persistence. I think I have nice eyes and a hell of a smile. My hair is ragged most days, but when it co-operates, it works out quite well.

It’s always good to have a goal. But do not let that goal take over. When it comes to body image, I like to imagine myself a certain way. Then I image my life after I look this way. In my visualization, my life never changes significantly.

Regrettably, I still do not have six-pack. But this doesn’t change me. This does not make me less of a person. What makes me less of a person is wallowing in my despair over a lack of a ‘perfect’ body. One day, I will reach that goal, but until then, I am quite happy with myself.

“To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.” – Simone de Beauvoir

Still though, I can’t help but feel weird. When I was younger, comments on my body image used to bother me, a lot. However, it does not have the same effect on me. So why is this time any different? But why does this one make me think? I still don’t know. I don’t have all the answers. But what I do know, is that I am awesome and so are you.

Wanting to Need.

Sifting through my life is always interesting. I examine all my flaws and come up with ways to improve. I try my hardest to improve in all ways, but sometimes it’s incredibly difficult to grasp.

Recently, I’ve sorted all the various desires in my life into wants and needs. It really puts everything into perspective. It makes you appreciate all the little things that you may have taken for granted.

I need to breathe. I need to eat. I need my mom. I need my friends. I need to be happy. I need to succeed. I need to grow stronger physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

“Our necessities never equal our wants” – Benjamin Franklin

These are my needs. Everything else is a want. Everything else can be overlooked if necessary. In my life, I want a lot of things and that’s okay. It’s okay to want things. But you can’t let that hinder you from growing stronger.

Wanting Right Out of Happiness

When I was younger, I was in a terrible relationship. At the time, I thought I needed her. I needed her love. I needed her support. I needed her body against mine. But it got to the point, where I realized some needs are not worth it.

Sometimes, wants are disguised as needs. You convince yourself so badly, that you need something. You lose sight of your true needs. Your wants masquerade in your head and you think, ‘This is it. This is what I need.’

“When we confuse the needs with the desires; all the struggles we take lead to disappointment and unhappiness” – M.F. Moonzajer

Sometimes, wants battle your happiness monster, jockey for control. You want that girl. You want that house. You want that job. When you don’t get it, it injures your happiness monster.

But when you step back and analyze it. I mean, really think about it. Will you go on living if you don’t have that person, that house, that job? I broke up with her and here I am. I’m still here albeit, barely. But living, nonetheless.

Live for Yourself

Wants are necessary to have. They can be extra goals, new achievements to strive for or just general material things. A new iPhone? Sure, why not? But that shouldn’t define you.

The ‘wants’ should be for you. They need to be for you. They are the guides to your success. Healthy ‘wants’ are your Sherpa to the top of Goal Mountain. They should guide you towards the correct path and satiate your happiness monster.

Taking a step back and looking through your life can be dramatic. You take a look at everything you’ve done, the good and ugly. You realize where you were, where you went and how you got there. Who you hurt and whom you helped along the way. But in the end, this is the person I am. This is the person I’ve become and it was influenced by my needs. The wants were secondary and have helped me, but at the same time, injured me.

Wants are a Catch 22.

Write a list of your wants and needs. See where you stand and what you stand for. You’ll be surprised once they are on paper. Prioritize your wants. Keep them short and concise.

If a want is destroying you inside, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, cast it away. You don’t need it.