Stress, And Your Body Thinking It Might Die

You have a headache, an upset stomach, problems getting to sleep, elevated blood pressure and chest pains.

If you looked this up on WebMd.com you’d probably think you were dying from some sort of horrifying disease. But in fact, these are the symptoms of a much more common health problem affecting almost all of us.

Stress

In the same way that pain isn’t all bad because it lets you know the difference between a warm shower and scalding yourself with boiling water, stress isn’t always a bad thing either.

Stress responses in your body during life threatening situations signal your body to stop all non-life-saving functions and focus on getting you out of the burning building, or running away from the man eating lion.

But the problem with stress is that your physiological responses to non-immediate stresses are largely the same as when you’re fighting for survival.

In other words, your body will react roughly the same way whether you are stressing over a cell phone bill, or a meteorite heading towards the earth.

With that in mind it is easy to understand why people under stress can feel like they might die, because their body is reacting that way.

Relieving Stress

So your body thinks every homework assignment, messy kitchen, or job interview that stresses you out is going to kill you.

After a while of building up this stress you need some sort of relief. Stress that continues without relief leads to a condition called distress, which is where things can get really bad.

Distress can cause high blood pressure, heart problems, depression and anxiety among other things.

So what do you do when you are stressed out and need relief?

1) Complete A Repetitive Task

Studies have shown that completing a repetitive task can help your mind unwind.

When everything is piling up around you and you feel like you can’t tackle any of it, completing something as simple as doing the dishes can give you a much needed sense of accomplishment.

It also puts your focus on the task at hand, rather than the prospect of your cell phone bill killing you.

The next time you are feeling stressed, throw yourself into some easy housework. Fold your laundry, vacuum your room, or sort out your loose change.

You can find whatever simple and repetitive task works for you, then use it as your go-to stress reliever.

2) Take A Warm Bath

A warm bath or shower will boost your mood.

Studies have shown that the sensation of warm water triggers responses in the body and brain similar to those of emotional warmth.

When you are in the shower or bath, try to focus on the comfort you feel and keep your mind off of the things that are stressing you out. This will relieve your stress and prepare you to deal with future stress with more ease.

3) Treat Yourself To Endorphins

There are many ways to get those happy chemicals pumping in your brain that will relieve your stress. Here is my quick go-to list:

• Pet a cat
• Eat some dark chocolate
• Enjoy a nice smell (spearmint and lavender have proven effects)
• Listen to your favourite music
• Have a good laugh
• Get some exercise

We all know that you can’t avoid stress entirely. Whether a meteorite is heading to earth or you have a job interview, you are going to be stressed out at some point.

With these tips you will be able to relieve some of that stress, so that you don’t actually die.
Because that would really be stressful.

HOW TO MASTER JEDI MIND CONTROL

Over the last couple of years I have become fascinated with the idea that everything in your life is a result of what goes on in your mind.

If there are two twins that are the exact same in every way, except that one is relentlessly positive and the other is endlessly negative, their lives would be completely different.

They could encounter the exact same scenarios and obstacles but they would perceive them in different ways. The positive person would see them as a chance to grow, and the negative person would see them as evidence that you can never succeed.

With this in mind I am convinced that learning to skew your mind towards the positive and the useful is the best way to completely transform your life.

Here are the three steps to learning to control your mind like a Jedi.

1) Observe your thoughts.

In order to start controlling the endless chatter in your mind you first have to get rid of the idea that you are your thoughts.

We tend to think that the chatter in our mind is who we are and that is it, but that is just a part of who you are. You are your whole body from top to bottom and your entire subconscious, not just your conscious thoughts.

Now what you need to do is to step back from your thoughts and observe them. Start keeping track of when you are thinking negatively. The next time you find yourself upset, step back for a second and think “Wow, I have a lot of negative thoughts right now.”

Doing this will help you catch yourself in these useless reflexive thought cycles. Nothing good comes from beating yourself up or feeling sorry for yourself so the more you start to catch yourself, the quicker you can implement my next step.

2) Cancel your negative thoughts.

Now that you are starting to keep an eye on what you are thinking instead of just letting the chatter go on, you can start to pull yourself out of these habitual thought patterns.

Your brain doesn’t like using a lot of energy, so if you are a person who naturally reacts negatively, your mind will jump to that first because it is easy. Doing something outside of the norm requires conscious effort, something your brain would rather avoid.
Yeah, thanks evolution, we really appreciate that…

My favourite way to pull myself out of my bad habitual thought cycles is to use an “interrupt mantra.”

An interrupt mantra is something that you start repeating over and over once you realize that you are in one of these cycles. It will replace your useless thoughts with the exact opposite and more useful thoughts.

If you are someone who has problems with procrastination, once you realize that you are thinking “Man, I hate doing this work, I just want to relax and watch some Netflix” you have to switch to your interrupt mantra. It could be something like “I am energized and ready to take on anything. I’ll conquer this project with ease and energy to spare.”

Repeat that as many times in a row as you have to and after a while of canceling your negative thoughts, your mind will start to reflexively jump to the positive and more useful thoughts.

It only makes sense that your procrastination will naturally shrink when your reflexive thoughts are that of being energized and ready to conquer the obstacles ahead of you.

Interrupt mantras can work for any negative thoughts. If you have negative thoughts about your confidence interrupt them with “I am an amazing and confident person. I am going to start giving myself the credit I deserve.”

If you have problems with willpower interrupt those thoughts by saying “I have tons of willpower to spare. I am a strong person who can beat any temptation with ease.”

Rinse and repeat as many times as needed whether it be ten, twenty, or thirty times in a row.

3) Meditation.

This step isn’t required, but it will make the whole process ten times easier. When I started meditating I didn’t realize just how impactful it would be. I also didn’t realize how many of my favourite celebrities and great thinkers meditated.

Everyone from Arnold Schwarzenegger, to Katy Perry, to Oprah Winfrey and more credit meditation as a key part of their success and ability to stay balanced.

We could discuss meditation for hours, the spiritual aspects, the physical effects it has on the brain over time or even just the calming effect it can create instantly. But for now there is one plus side to meditation that I want to share with you.

It allows you to step back from your thoughts.

With the type of meditation I do the point is to focus on your breath so intensely that your thoughts cease. Now, during meditation you are sure to have thoughts pop into your head. In this case you just allow them to surface without analyzing them, and then get back to focusing on your breathing. If you get an itch on your leg, you feel it, but then immediately bring your attention back to your breath.

This will train you to be able to have a thought or emotion surface without allowing it to pull you into its rabbit hole. This way when something happens in your daily life that aggravates you, instead of stewing over it for hours and ruining your whole day you can step back and say “is this really a useful thing to focus on? Do these thought patterns improve my life in any way shape or form, or do they just serve to steal energy and happiness from me?”

Armed with this ability to step back and question these reflexive thoughts, you can truly start to control your mind and use it for your own self improvement.

A quote that has been repeated by many of the great minds of the world, and is very close to my heart is: “The mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.”

This quote perfectly explains the two different relationships you can have with your mind.

Either you control it, or it controls you. The decision is yours.

With love
Steven Farquharson, 2HelpfulGuys

How To: Cure the Block

I have writer’s block today. I almost never have writer’s block. My ideas and thoughts usually flow naturally. For the most part, writing an article just comes second nature.

But, today is different for some reason. I’m going to diagnose my problem, treat it (by finishing this article) and, hopefully, sleep well tonight, knowing that I wrote something half decent.

Here goes:

A) Increase Blood Flow

When I wrote that first part of the post, it was early in the morning. Now, as I am writing this, I feel more at ease. Why?

I just finished an intense workout routine. I feel all the blood flowing through my body. Exercise is effective at getting your blood moving through your brain and getting those creative juices flowing.

Even something moderate. For me it was intense, but something as simple as a walk outside will clear your head for those creative juices.

B) Surround Yourself with Different Surroundings

Leave your mundane writing environment and start somewhere new. In most cases, I write my articles in my room, most of the time in my underwear (that’s an unwanted image).

Sometimes, I feel like I have no inspiration to write. Similar to the previous point, walking outside helps with that. Surrounding yourself with fresh air and new environments will produce new ideas.

C) Use Stimulants

I’m not a fan of drugs, as most of you know. By stimulants, I mean something that perks you up. For me, I use tea.

Daily teas are part of my routine because it gives me a little peak of energy. Similarly, you can use coffee as a substitute.

I can’t do coffee anymore. I had a serious addiction and decided to quit cold turkey. Now, the smell of coffee makes me gag. In my opinion, tea is just as effective without the after-jitters.

D) Read

I think reading can solve most of your problems. For example, after reading this article, you will overcome your writer’s block. If I’m stuck, I will read one chapter from three different books.

I read one chapter from a self-help book, one from the fiction category and one from any science category (most of the time, it’s psychology).

Reading three different chapters from three topics allows my brain to have idea sex. I mix all three different thoughts together. You can always combine ideas from different topics.

This fresh perspective will give you something to write about.

E) Make an Outline

If you have different topics already in mind, write a rough sketch of it. Figure out your main topics and make points. Make these points as simple as possible.

Your goal here is to write as many points as possible. Don’t worry about good and bad points or expanding on anything. Write enough to jog your memory later. Once you’ve compiled a list, go back and revise.

Cut out all the fat.

F) Just Start

Stop thinking about the writer’s block and just start with something. It can be nonsensical garbage, but just start writing.

“Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop” – Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)

Sometimes all your brain needs is to put down some words. The more you get down, the easier it will be to continue.

G) Write Daily

Writer’s block doesn’t affect me as much as it first used to. I think the main reason is because I write everyday, even at a minimal capacity.

In the barest of bones, writing is a skill. Like any skill, the only way to improve is through dedicated practice (more on skills here). Dedicated practice hones my ability to write.

I looked at my first post (check it out here) and it pales in comparison to my recent works. I am improving, albeit slightly. These slight improvements continue to stack until writer’s block is basically nonexistent.

There you have it. I have completed my article. I feel like I can sleep well tonight. I think I’ve written a winner here.

Remember, don’t force anything. If you have insomnia, you can’t force yourself to sleep. If you are truly stuck, I implore you to try out the previous techniques. They have helped me in the past and even through this current block.

How do you overcome the dreaded block? Did any of these tips help you? Please comment below. My readers and I value your input. Thank you in advance.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Reduce Your Negativity in 4 Ways

Back in March, I started this site as a producer of positivity and hope for the masses. That goal is still incredibly strong inside me. I feel the burning urge to help people.

I feel compelled to help people through my stories and experiences. Everyday, I wake up and check my statistics for the site. I am delighted that people are reading and commenting and enjoying this site. Thank you, by the way.

I am more than content to help people, in whatever small way possible. That being said, I aim to be a ray of positivity in peoples’ lives.

There is so much negativity in the world. It seems as if people are drawn to it. The more they hear about it, the more they want to participate in it.

People surround themselves with negativity through their everyday lives. And for those who do not surround themselves with it, negativity seems to seek them out.

A) FAMILY and FRIENDS

I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have many positive and loving people in my life. These people have molded the man you are reading about today.

But, these people weren’t always there. I had to go through an intense sifting process to filter out the toxic people in life.

I suggest doing the same. Pessimistic people continue to suck the soul from your body. They want to complain, gossip, hate, negative-ate (a patented Leroy word) all their feelings on you.

You don’t need all that in your life. Cut them.

B) TELEVISION 

I BARELY watch television these days. This is partially due to the lack of time, but also because there isn’t anything to watch.

There are so few good (by ‘good,’ I mean positive) shows out there. The majority of them are crime dramas and news.

When I was growing up, there were shows like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Wholesome television shows with positive messages about family, love, and friendship. Now the biggest shows are about jealousy, backstabbing and meth.

When did we turn towards the dark-side? While these shows are ‘entertaining,’ negative messages are propagated. Through cinematography we consume so much negativity and hate.

C) THE NEWS

This is somewhat similar to television, except for the fact that the news is literally EVERYWHERE. It’s hard to escape it. I never ever watch or read the news.

This is not due to ignorance. Under qualified, stupid reporters that spread negativity reports the news. There is never anything positive on the news. No heroic stories? No Jimmy opening up a lemonade stand? No nothing.

“But how will you fit in?”

A new friend told me in high society, people would look down on you if you don’t know current events. While that may be true, I don’t really care.

My main question is “why?” To fit into some negativity small-talk box? To surround myself with all the negative people, I’ve spent the majority of life avoiding?

Personally, I find it a waste of time.

D) SOCIAL MEDIA

Cyber-bullying is all the rage these days. It is a huge problem. Back in my day (am I really that old?), kids just called me fat and pushed me around. It hurt, a lot. But I got over it.

There is a key difference between my childhood bullying and modern bullying. My bullying was unavoidable. I had to go to school everyday. Social media isn’t necessary. Delete it, you don’t need it.

Similarly, negativity is found in literally all over the Internet. YouTube trolls, Facebook arguments, and Twitter ‘beefs.’ Do not subscribe to these forms of avoidable negativity.

Use these ‘tools’ but do not get consumed by them.

SOLUTION?

Use the word ‘No’ more often. There is great power in that word. Take control of your life. Opt for ‘No’ to anything and anyone you do not want in your life.

Say ‘no’ to mindless meetings, negative people, social media ‘beefs,’ anger, and regret. Mindless television and news. Say no to all the negativity in your life. The moment you do so, you’ll notice an incredible change.

Life will be simpler, almost serene.

“When you have a tiny piece of shit in the soup, it doesn’t matter how much more water you pour in and how many more spices you put on top. There’s shit in the soup.” – James Altucher

Say ‘no’ when people try to place a little piece of shit in your soup.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

5 Tips for Effective Time-Management

I’ve had this current week completely off. I was working like a madman through the summer and I start school next week. I feel like I deserve a break after all that has happened through the summer.

The problem that has recently occurred to me is that school is starting soon. For many of us, that would seem a joy. For me, it’s terrible. During school, I have zero free time to do all the activities that I hold dear.

Reading, writing, and personal learning almost go out the window. I am most worried about how I will deal with school while juggling my many hobbies and goals.

Here’s what I’ve come up with:

A) Sleep

In my opinion, it’s the cornerstone of everything ‘life.’ Without adequate sleep (I need 9 hours because I’m a hippo), your willpower plummets. You wake up with less willpower resulting in doing less.

Feeling lethargic kisses goodbye your time management skills. You don’t feel like doing much of anything and when you muster up the energy, it isn’t done well.

B) Plan out your day

As part of my daily morning routine, I make a to-do list. I usually do it over breakfast. Planning out the important tasks in the morning allows me to prioritize everything.

I am able to figure out exactly what I want to do during my day and it allows me to manage my time around the list. As an added sense of gratification, crossing something off the list feels amazing.

I recommend implementing a list of important ‘to-do’ tasks everyday. It will allow for better time-management and, as an added plus, will take something off your memory.

C) Cut out the Noise

The people that are closest to me know that I hate texting. I find it completely ineffective for communication purposes past single word answers. Having any sort of conversation via text is completely inefficient and a waste of time.

That being said, texting, to me, is considered noise. Noise is anything that eats away at your valuable time everyday.

This can include Facebook, Twitter, YouTube (unless you’re learning or laughing), Instagram, television, or any other form of media that you can lose yourself in.

Social media is not bad in extremely small doses, but once you start tuning out the world around to tweet, you may have a problem.

I consider everything in this category huge time-wasters that soak up your time like a dry sponge. Try to limit your usage to maximize your time.

D) Have ‘Do Not Disturb’ Time

As most of my frequent readers are aware, I’ve currently undertaken Spanish. I’m slowly discovering that learning a language, as with any learning; takes serious and intense concentration (Check out my article on learning here).

In that regard, you possess the ability to control your environment and its factors. If you have something that requires serious concentration, such as learning a new skill, modify the environment to your needs.

Go to quiet areas, tell friends/family not to bother you for X amount of time, turn off your cellphone, et cetera. This allows you to complete your task in the shortest amount of time possible, freeing up the rest of the time for your other tasks.

E) The List is a Guideline

Sometimes I do not complete everything on my list. Sure, it is disheartening, but it reminds me to properly prioritize everything for the next day.

Use your list as a framework for your day. If you do not complete everything on the list, don’t be discouraged. Aim to cross everything off of that list for the following day.

This Friday, I am embarking on another task. I’ll be launching a business with my mom. This will require a great deal of work and time from myself. Sometimes, I worry if I have too much on my plate.

With my fourth year of school, work, learning, reading, this blog, and that business, how will I ever have the time? Compiling this list brings a sense of ease for me because I know that I will be able to manage everything.

How do you manage your time? Do you have any helpful tips for my readers and I? Please leave a comment in the section below. My readers and I would love to hear from you.

Be bold, be free, and love on.