How To Escape Loneliness

Our family surrounds us at birth, and they’re present for the most part throughout your life, but they never warned you of the loneliness in this world. They never prepared you for the harsh truths and rough life that you may lead.

You were thrown headfirst endlessly seeking happiness and pleasure. Through the entire journey you fall and fail, and fall and fail some more, trying to find a speck of happiness in someone or something.

Your Social Circle

I depend on my social circle to a very large degree. I don’t know who I would be without them. I would be lost.

But before this blissful time, I was hopelessly alone. All through elementary and high school, I just had myself. I was ridiculed and severely unhappy.

In elementary school, I would pretend I was sick and stay home. In high school, I hung out with the librarian and that was where I would eat my lunches, while he talked about his war stories and medical history.

Neither of us enjoyed it.

Your significant other

One of the earliest memories of relationships was from grade 3. Susie was her name. Or maybe, it was Suzy? I told her I liked her, and she screamed and ran away. All the kids made fun of me. I was unhappy.

So what? If girls had cooties, I was okay with it.

Apparently, my peers weren’t. I never had another relationship until high school, which ended terribly and I was emotionally destroyed. After the break-up, I would work seventy-hour weeks just to drown out the emptiness I felt.

Work, work, sleep, and repeat.

Curtis had an xbox

The kid down the street had an Xbox. I hated him. I wanted an Xbox. I deserved one. I got decent grades and I never hurt anyone. Why did he get one and I didn’t?

His parents were rich.

Maybe you have both, friends and a significant other, but something is missing. Your social life is flourishing, but you need an xbox to be happy. That will impress others! If others are impressed, they’ll like you and you’ll be happy.

But then I got that Xbox, and I had a sense of bliss for a little while. But, no one was impressed, no one liked me, and I wasn’t happy.

What’s the solution?

I like to think all factors in my life as external factors. These only supplement happiness, but they don’t provide baseline happiness.

Baseline happiness comes from inside you. It comes from own self-realization that you’re worthy to be happy. Everyone can be happy, but it must come from within.

My friends provide additional happiness, but, first, the baseline must be achieved. In order to make friends, I had to be happy first. I had to realize that I am worthy enough to have friends.

I don’t have a significant other to share everything. However, I am happy, and in time, someone significant will come, but only after I’ve accepted myself wholly.

Xbox and copious amounts of money will not bring you happiness. It might make your life easier for a little bit. But it’s never enough. The richest people are also the most unfulfilled. They realized, the hard way, that money can’t buy happiness. You will be able to have anything you want, but in the end, those items bring just momentary happiness.

When you are able to be happy alone, everything else falls in place. You have to discover intrinsic happiness for yourself. Being happy will take work and time, but search for it.

Give yourself a moment each day to figure out what happiness means to you, what it will take, and how you can achieve it today. Happiness varies from person to person. Discover it for yourself.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The Minimalist Experiment

I’ve entered a new phase in my life. I’ve realized that over the many years of life, I have amassed far too much crap.

Crap that just sits there, collects dust and tricks my mind. Tricks my mind into happiness, contentedness, and security. I threw out most things and donated the good ones.

My mom yelled in the background, “What are you doing? This is still good!”

It may be still good but there is just too much clutter in my room. I can’t think with all this noise. Everything just sits there, staring at me.

I was introduced to minimalism recently.

My Definition of Minimalism: The process of having few personal possessions, limiting the need to want.

I don’t need all these things. I’ve held onto these items forever and can’t bare to throw out anything. Do I need them? Everything changed when I went on that donation/throwing out rampage. I’ve kept these items in a vain attempt to physically manifest my perceived happiness.

Most of these things mean nothing to me. I have no real attachment to them, but I still feel the need to have. These items did not bring any happiness to me. And when they did, it was only momentary.

My money and time was invested in physical items that had little or no value and producing little momentary happiness. I’ve kept all the items that I hold dear: books (knowledge), some clothes (personal well-being), and assorted birthday presents (memories/treasured possessions).

Everything else went in the trashcan or the donation box. I feel good. I feel less cluttered. I can finally think and navigate my room with ease. I can breathe easy.

I’ve realized that the more things I had, the more I wanted. Surrounded by clutter, I had the subconscious need to have more clutter.

“What’s one more item in the sea of items?”

I kept spending frivolously on items that did not bring me long-lasting happiness. Now everything changes. I will start to save my money, spending them only on experiences.

I will spend on gifts for friends/family, social events, knowledge and trips. I will save and invest. I will invest in long-lasting happiness and treasured experiences.

I am fortunate enough to have everything I need. For most people, they can’t say the same. Yet, people live on next to nothing and still hold a gleaming smile.

“How? Why?”

People do not need much to be happy and strive. The basic essentials, good friends and experiences are all a person needs. We have been brainwashed by consumerist ideals.

They convince us that we need more things for happiness. A bigger house, a new car, a 100-inch HD 3-D television. In the grand scheme of everything, these things mean nothing.

I realize that now. Those items meant nothing to me. I can live happily without the clutter.

I feel like it has taken me 23 years to realize this one incredibly valuable lesson. I have the rest of my life to look forward too and I feel like this is a major epiphany in my life.

I urge you, my beautiful readers, to do the same. Petty items will not produce long-lasting happiness. They will clutter you, consume you and trick you into happiness. I urge you to live simply and simply live.

Speaking for myself, I already feel at ease. I am experiencing the calming effects of minimalism. Maybe it is just in my head. But, I figure, that’s the only person I need to convince. Myself.

Be bold, be free, and love on.