FINDING YOUR PURPOSE

My last post was called “LIVING YOUR LIFE FOR YOURSELF”

It was about a big change in my life that I have made in order to follow my dreams.

In this post I received a question from “TheFourthIdiot” owner of the blog http://inspiringinfinity.wordpress.com/

His question was essentially this:
How do yo proceed down your path if you are not even sure if it is the right path? How do you develop the unshakable faith required to take great leaps towards this dream in the face of risk?

First, I will speak about my general perspective on finding life’s purpose and then I will give practical tips to help you find out what your purpose is, or build confidence in the purpose you already feel.

I have always struggled with the idea of a single purpose or dream.

I wrote an article about this some time ago when I was contemplating the future in a panic, wondering if I’ll ever figure out what I want to do with my life.

I had tried so many things and failed spectacularly at every single one of them. I had gone deep into different paths and realized that none of these things were right for me.

But what I didn’t realize back then was that each path had led me to the next. Not only that, each path gave me new tools to carve my way through the next.

Learning drums taught me the universal truths to learning anything. Being in a band taught me how to get people to work together towards a goal. Doing sales taught me the ability to articulate myself more efficiently and convincingly.

Alas, none of these paths were right for me. I’m writing this blog and doing these videos right now and I still can’t be sure if this is my life’s mission.

But now I have confidence that moving forward down this path will give me new tools and lead me where I need to go.

Your dream will change as you grow.

This is inevitable. You aren’t meant to just do one thing with your life.

But you are meant to pursue things in your life that are meaningful to you. If you aren’t going after any dream then you won’t be lead to the next one.

My main point here is that you should never fear whether your path is right or wrong.

You will never have to retrace your steps on this path and start over.

If it isn’t meant to be, a new path with appear somewhere down the road when you are a new person with new tools and different perspectives.

But you have to start somewhere.

So here are my practical tips for figuring out what you should be doing right now.

Some questions with some important answers.

Answer this list of questions over the period of a week. Keep them in the back of your mind and write down anything you come up with throughout this time.

What are you hobbies/passions?

I don’t just mean flying kites and collecting stamps. Write down anything you do that you don’t get paid for and enjoy nonetheless.

Blogging, video games, gardening, meditation, yoga, fitness, dieting, helping people, building, drawing, photography, knitting and a world of others can fall into this category.

What are your talents/skills.

What have you learned throughout your life that you are good at?

Can you play an instrument? Are you good with your hands? Are you good with words? Do you have a knack for organization? What have you shown an aptitude for in your current and previous jobs?

Write down all of your talents because more than likely some of these things will be incorporated in your path.

When have you been happiest?

Think back to your past jobs, experiences and hobbies to further define what makes you happiest. These things will be clues to what the overarching theme of your life should be.

What do you want to be remembered for?

This is a question that gave me a lot of insight into what I wanted to do with my life.

After much thought I realized that I wanted to be remember for helping people. I didn’t know how I would help people or who I would be helping, but I knew that I wanted to make people’s lives better.

How do you want to be remembered? As a millionaire business guru? As a creator of beautiful works of art? Or as someone who raised a beautiful family that will go on to improve the world?

Combining these answers with the next exercise will get you that much closer to knowing what you should be working towards.

Invigorate or debilitate?

Write down everything you do for a week, even the boring tasks.

Breakfast, showering, playing video games, projects, work, social life, everything.

Once you have done this I want you to create two columns on a “T Chart”. One for things that invigorate you, giving you energy/happiness, and one for things that debilitate or drain you.

Split everything you have done that week into these two columns.

You will often find that the path you should be working towards involves things you are already doing. Look through the list of invigorating things, combine it with your list of passions and your list of skills.

Lay it all out in front of you and look at it every day. Let these things cultivate in your mind.

Now that you know what you enjoy, what you are good at, the things that invigorate you in your life, the times you were happiest and the way you want to be remembered, I am confident that your next path will appear from the fog.

No one can tell you what your path is.

And you can’t even be sure that you will stay on the same path for the rest of your life.

But follow the path that lies before you now, one that leads you to a dream, and you will gain new tools and perspectives that will open new paths in the future.
That is what will give you the confidence to move forward.

You never have to worry about failing. I’ve failed a million times, but moving forward towards a dream has always lead me in the right direction.

But being afraid to follow a dream, that will only lead to nightmares.

With love,
Steven Farquharson, 2HG.

How To: Cure the Block

I have writer’s block today. I almost never have writer’s block. My ideas and thoughts usually flow naturally. For the most part, writing an article just comes second nature.

But, today is different for some reason. I’m going to diagnose my problem, treat it (by finishing this article) and, hopefully, sleep well tonight, knowing that I wrote something half decent.

Here goes:

A) Increase Blood Flow

When I wrote that first part of the post, it was early in the morning. Now, as I am writing this, I feel more at ease. Why?

I just finished an intense workout routine. I feel all the blood flowing through my body. Exercise is effective at getting your blood moving through your brain and getting those creative juices flowing.

Even something moderate. For me it was intense, but something as simple as a walk outside will clear your head for those creative juices.

B) Surround Yourself with Different Surroundings

Leave your mundane writing environment and start somewhere new. In most cases, I write my articles in my room, most of the time in my underwear (that’s an unwanted image).

Sometimes, I feel like I have no inspiration to write. Similar to the previous point, walking outside helps with that. Surrounding yourself with fresh air and new environments will produce new ideas.

C) Use Stimulants

I’m not a fan of drugs, as most of you know. By stimulants, I mean something that perks you up. For me, I use tea.

Daily teas are part of my routine because it gives me a little peak of energy. Similarly, you can use coffee as a substitute.

I can’t do coffee anymore. I had a serious addiction and decided to quit cold turkey. Now, the smell of coffee makes me gag. In my opinion, tea is just as effective without the after-jitters.

D) Read

I think reading can solve most of your problems. For example, after reading this article, you will overcome your writer’s block. If I’m stuck, I will read one chapter from three different books.

I read one chapter from a self-help book, one from the fiction category and one from any science category (most of the time, it’s psychology).

Reading three different chapters from three topics allows my brain to have idea sex. I mix all three different thoughts together. You can always combine ideas from different topics.

This fresh perspective will give you something to write about.

E) Make an Outline

If you have different topics already in mind, write a rough sketch of it. Figure out your main topics and make points. Make these points as simple as possible.

Your goal here is to write as many points as possible. Don’t worry about good and bad points or expanding on anything. Write enough to jog your memory later. Once you’ve compiled a list, go back and revise.

Cut out all the fat.

F) Just Start

Stop thinking about the writer’s block and just start with something. It can be nonsensical garbage, but just start writing.

“Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop” – Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)

Sometimes all your brain needs is to put down some words. The more you get down, the easier it will be to continue.

G) Write Daily

Writer’s block doesn’t affect me as much as it first used to. I think the main reason is because I write everyday, even at a minimal capacity.

In the barest of bones, writing is a skill. Like any skill, the only way to improve is through dedicated practice (more on skills here). Dedicated practice hones my ability to write.

I looked at my first post (check it out here) and it pales in comparison to my recent works. I am improving, albeit slightly. These slight improvements continue to stack until writer’s block is basically nonexistent.

There you have it. I have completed my article. I feel like I can sleep well tonight. I think I’ve written a winner here.

Remember, don’t force anything. If you have insomnia, you can’t force yourself to sleep. If you are truly stuck, I implore you to try out the previous techniques. They have helped me in the past and even through this current block.

How do you overcome the dreaded block? Did any of these tips help you? Please comment below. My readers and I value your input. Thank you in advance.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

How to: Learn ANYTHING.

I’ve talked about learning Spanish before. I go through many phases in my learning where I am gung-ho about something for a period of time and I fall short of completing.

I cannot make excuses for my hindrance in the learning process. I didn’t put my full energy towards something.

Once again, over the past few days I’ve undertaken Spanish. I feel like a completely different person this time around. I’ve realized that in order to learn something you need the interest AND you need focused unadulterated attention.

A) Pick something that interests you

And run with it. If you want to learn something, first and foremost, the love and passion has to exist. If you do not thoroughly enjoy what you’re learning, you will either fall off or forget everything after a momentary lapse.

For me Spanish has always been a goal but I also really do enjoy Spanish as a language. As an adage, moving to Spain is a possible outcome in my life and being prepared is integral.

B) Pure Dedicated Unadulterated Time

Learning a skill requires a set amount of time every single day. It seems like a large commitment, but if you want to learn something, you need to put in the time.

Not only is the mere time required, but also the need for unadulterated time. All your attention must be focused on the learning process, free of distractions, noise and external thoughts.

Half an hour a day is all you really need to pick up something. Any more would not be efficient on your learning process. Consuming large amounts of information for long periods of time each day will burn out your precious willpower.

Feeling exhausted, your daily consistency will suffer because you attribute exhausted feelings with learning.

I have recently started to adopt to-do lists in my daily life. Personally, I find it incredibly satisfying crossing something off my list. Spanish is one of those tasks on my list. Each day I dedicate 30-45 minutes of time to learning Spanish. I find that I retain about 85% of the language and it keeps me coming back for more each day.

C) Consistency 

“Long-term consistency trumps short term intensity” – Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee hit the nail on its head. Your brain learns through long-term consistency rather than sporadic bursts of intensity. In that regard, keeping a regular schedule each day assists your brain in the learning process.

Also, previously mentioned, willpower plays an integral role in learning. Long-term consistency allows you to expend the perfect amount of willpower on learning without being completely drained and exhausted.

D) Be like a Child 

I think a life of learning is like existing on a balance beam. As a child, there is no fear, no sense for the danger of falling. The beam exists as a wide and stable surface, which allows for creative leaps and fast learning. If you happen to fall off, you simply get back up.

As you get older, you are more aware of the risks of injury. You play it safe, making very safe moves. The beam is narrow and the mere thought of plunging is embarrassing and paralyzing.

Learning as a child is simplistic. Nothing really matters but the love of learning. A new skill to a child is not seen as a daunting task – rather an exciting learning experience.

Capture that feeling as an adult and learn through enjoyment. Learn without the fear of embarrassment, ridicule and judgment. Leap off of the balance beam knowing that there is a soft cushion below you.

E) Failure

When you think about learning, do not fear anything. You are supposed to fail. In my opinion, it is incredibly important in the learning process. It keeps you grounded and prepares you for the worst.

Failure should be seen as an unavoidable – but satisfying – factor. If you fail, you know that you are doing something right. Learning is a hard process and failure is there to keep you on the right track.

Embrace failure with the thought that you are doing something right. Use it as a stepping-stone to the next juncture of the learning process.

Spanish has always been a goal for me. Embarking on this journey has been incredibly gratifying. I allow myself to learn every single day and I reap the benefits. Learning is important to your personal growth. Go forth and learn something new. It will change your life.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

3 Skills To Improve Your Life

The previous post outlined that learning skills are important for success. I whole-heartedly believe that. However, some skills are significantly more valuable than others.

Some skills are rated higher than others. Some skills are used more often than others. In this post, I’d like to outline three of, what I think are, the most valuable skills to improve your life.

1) Public Speaking 

The majority of people have serious anxieties speaking to large groups. The entire process is intimidating. What if they boo? What if they laugh at you, instead of with you?

The majority of people avoid public speaking at all costs, but I feel it is an important skill to learn and improve. Firstly, if you can speak well in public, you are set above the majority of the population (that’s a HUGE advantage).

Try joining a Toastmaster’s program. They are a large public speaking group that I found extremely helpful. I had a post on public speaking earlier in my writing ‘career’ about improving public speaking.

2) Accounting

Basic accounting skills are so important as an ‘adult.’ You need to keep track of your money on a basic spreadsheet (at the very least).

Every year, during tax season I see my friends scramble to H&R Block to get their taxes done. They have no idea if they’re getting the correct return or that they are overspending for something that can be easily done in your underwear.

If you do not know basic accounting, how are you supposed to verify accounting agencies? I don’t feel comfortable trusting anyone (let alone a large corporation) with my money.

Basic accounting skills can be learned easily with a two day course (that most places offer for free) and through YouTube. Lastly, TurboTax (these companies seriously need to pay me for these endorsements) is an excellent resource for filing taxes in your underwear.

C) Conversation

“Wait a minute, Leroy. Conversation is the same as public speaking.”

I would disagree. Public speaking is more geared to groups. Conversation is for the one-on-one interaction. Too many people are buried in their cellphones and social media.

People have forgotten the lost art of conversation and shudder at the thought of having any human interaction. Most people just talk, which is not the same as conversation.

Conversationalists have learned techniques that are surprisingly nonobvious to most people. The core secret to conversations is introducing yourself and asking questions until you find mutual interests.

Most people want to talk about themselves. This is not a bad trait. In fact, it makes the conversation skill surprising easy to grasp. Ask questions and allow the recipient to answer.

Find common ground and establish a relationship.

Conversations are important to befriend, plan, exchange information, persuade, seduce (to have sex), entertain and form lasting relationships. Too few people have a grasp on strong conversational skills.

Just remember to smile, ask questions, and allow the stranger to talk. Everyone likes to talk about his or her life, and everyone appreciates a sympathetic listener.

Out of fear for making this post too long, I will end the skills here. There are so many more important skills to improve on. If you have any valuable skills, leave a comment below and I will write another article for a future piece.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Expand Your Toolbox Today

Recently, my manager asked if I wanted additional training in any other areas. Initially, I was reluctant. I don’t want to stay at my current job because, well, it’s only a job. I have bigger hopes and aspirations.

But, I decided to say yes. Why? Well, because ANY skill you acquire will double your chances for success.

But Leroy, “not all skills are equal and not all skills are important. Hence, they can’t double your chances of success.”

Yes, you’re right. I whole-heartedly agree with you. Obviously, some skills are more important than others, and the tenth skill you acquire might have less value than each of the other nine.

But when you approach learning a new skill with the mindset that it will double your odds of success, you instantly trick your brain into being more proactive in your pursuit of learning.

If I told you that taking a website coding class, will double your chances of success, the chances of you acting increases. If instead I only offered a vague opinion that acquiring new skills is beneficial, you might not feel particularly motivated.

A) Where Do I Start?

Method 1: Be a kid again

It’s difficult to figure out where to start. For me, I like to remember all my passions before I reached ten-years-old. Before ten, my brain was still malleable enough to absorb everything, but not yet tainted by formal education.

When you were a kid, the things you enjoyed were almost instinctual, rather than influenced. You understood that you liked something for the mere fact that it brought enjoyment to you.

Start there. Remember all the things you enjoyed and pursue similar skills. As you start learning those, diversify. Jump into random categories that interest you.

Method 2: Consume News

If you have trouble finding something to read, start with the topics that interest you, even if they may be something trivial like gossip and celebrity scandals. Over time, you will enjoy the experience of reading and start sampling topics that wouldn’t have interested you before.

Personally, I read news from business, health, science, technology, and politics. Continue to expose yourself to new topics, primarily the ones that interest you the most.

But be weary, consuming some news can be a huge downer if you pick the wrong topics. Try to avoid stories about tragic events and negativity and focus on the positive aspects of science, technology and business.

B) It Gets Easier

When you first try to learn a skill it can be daunting. You can’t see yourself learning something that, at the time, seems impossible. But once you understand a few core concepts it gets easier.

A huge advantage of learning as much as you can in different fields is that the more concepts you understand, the easier it becomes to learn new ones. The learning process snowballs into other fields, consistently teaching you new skills.

Imagine explaining to an alien the concept of a zebra. The learning curve would be steep. If the next thing you tried to explain were the concept of a horse, the conversation would be much shorter. You simply have to say that the horse is a lot like the zebra, without the black and white stripes.

The process of learning continues to simplify itself, as you progressively absorb more knowledge of varying skills.

C) How Do I Be Perfect at EVERYTHING?

The short answer to that question is, “You don’t.”

You do not need to seek mastery or perfection in any skill. The idea is that you can increase your market value just by being good –not perfect– at more than one skill.

In terms of success, you are better off being good at two complementary skills rather than being extraordinary at one. In some cases, being extraordinary at one skill will pay off, but for the majority of us regular people (ME), diversifying your toolbox will lead to success.

Do not pursue perfection, but pursue learning. Aim to learn as many skills as possible. They will eventually help you out in one situation or another. The more you learn, the better you become.

Diversify your toolbox today by learning something, anything. Learn to whistle with two fingers, sewing basics, draw a cat, or tinker with a basic sound system. I promise you, once you learn something, you will be closer to success.

Be bold, be free, and love on.