The Girl Across The Street

Yesterday, I hung out with an old friend. I haven’t seen her since February and it was a delight. Truthfully speaking, I had a huge crush on her.

We went on a few dates and things just fizzled out. Initially, I was devastated. Before seeing her, I had a fear that those feelings might resurface. I might be stuck in an emotional rut as soon as I saw her.

I think I’m growing up. I saw her and everything went well. Those feelings that I was afraid off – they resurfaced – I dealt with them.

Let Me Backtrack

I had a crush on her because she was pretty much everything I wanted. She embodied the qualities I held most dear, we have amazing conversations, and she is beautiful.

I am the type of person that will always hold feelings, deep inside, for the people I like. The feelings just hide away. When I saw her yesterday, those feelings came out guns-blazing, but they were manageable.

Girls have always occupied a huge portion of my mental and physical energy. I’ve never really had great luck in the whole relationship category. It has always been hard for me to let go of past relationships.

Call it love?

I don’t know what it was. I don’t really understand what love is. Have I felt it? Maybe once? Maybe I’m just convincing myself of love. Or maybe, just maybe, I did feel it?

The Girl Across the Street

I fell hard and fast. It hit me like a brick wall hit Will E. Coyote. From the moment I saw her I was captivated. She also embodied everything I ever wanted.

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We got our feelings out. For a while I thought it was ACTUALLY going to work. Long story, short, it didn’t.

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I was an emotional rollercoaster for about 3 hours. I decided that it couldn’t affect me. There are too many priorities.

There are too many important things to worry about.

A Limited Amount of Energy

Do you spend it worrying about girls? Bills? Gossip? Work drama? I spent it on a whole lot of nonsense. I squandered it away, day-by-day, wallowing in my own self-pity.

That was a huge waste of mental energy. If I knew what I know now, back when I was 16, my life would have been different. Then again, I am a stronger person because of my 16-year-old experiences.

It makes me feel like the perfect girl is somewhere out there. But also, it makes me feel like there isn’t just one. In fact, I know that there are at least two that are out there right now. I know because I met them already.

I feel a sense of ease with that thought. Sure, it didn’t work out. But it allows me to continue on with my life, knowing that somewhere out there, there are multiple perfect girls for me.

I know that I do not have to spend the mental energy wallowing when something does not work out. I know that I will be okay.

What do you choose to spend the energy on? You have a finite amount of energy every single day. I urge you to stop squandering it, like I have, and start improving your life.

Move forward for the all petty things taking over your life and spend that valuable energy on yourself. Use it to constantly and never-endingly improve.

For the first time, I experienced ‘love at first sight.’ Was it meant to be? I guess not. But it’s nice to know that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Three Ways to Feel Inner Peace

I am not a Zen master. I do not see myself as having no problems. In fact, I feel like I have a ton of problems. But that’s a part of life. Life is filled with problems.

The other day, someone said to me, “Leroy, you’re always happy. You seem so at peace, so put together all the time, just so happy. How do you do it?”

That statement caught me off guard. Inside my own head, there are constant battles and struggles brewing and festering. There’s always something that I think about.

But why did that person get that notion from me? I feel far from it. But I must be putting off some sort of vibe for someone to say that. There must be some sort of energy that I am releasing that others are picking up on.

Well, even though I have a lot of inner struggles, I try to be the most positive, happy person I can be, outside. This is not a façade, or fake, or fabricated. I just don’t want to bring anyone else down.

I feel like I deal with problems effectively. I feel like I am control (sometimes). Here’s how I deal with it.

1) Realize that it’s not a big deal.

Some problems are just not as big as they are at the time it occurs. They get inflated within your own thoughts. They fester and grow until it consumes you. Little problems become big problems.

I try to think of EVERY problem as a little problem. No matter how small (or large) it may seem, approach your problem as if it were small. Heading towards a problem with that mindset automatically flicks your brain towards an optimistic view.

You feel like you can manage it, overcome it and stand on top of the mountain, victorious.

2) Distract yourself

It’s a surefire solution to get your mind of a problem. Simply do something else. Not just anything, but something you really enjoy. Something you really enjoy is when you think about nothing else, but that activity.

For me, that is working out. I find it incredibly therapeutic. For a few hours everyday, I forget everything and slip into thoughts of the blood rushing into my muscles. Thoughts of muscles contracting and relaxing fill my head as I pull and push more and more weight.

Find something that you love, and dedicate time towards it, every single day. It gives your brain a break from all the inner turmoil.

3) Everything will be fine in the end. 

Everything always seems to work itself out. I don’t really know how it works or what force moves it to work, but everything always seems to work itself out.

Problems always come and go, and no matter how big or small they are, there is always a resolve. Either you deal with it or some force in nature (call it Science, God, or the Universe) throws its’ helpful hand in the mix.

If you worry about the problem, the bigger it becomes. You keep it in the forefront of your mind. You are the only one letting the problem still rear its’ ugly head. The more you think about the problem, the larger it becomes.

Problems do not go away unless you stop thinking about it. I don’t believe in miracles, but I do believe in the universe.

The more you think about your problems, the more problems seem to surface. Think positive thoughts, put on a brave face and spread a positive message (You can even share this blog on your social media).

How do you cope with problems? Please leave a comment below. My readers and I would love to hear your input! Thank you for reading, liking, and sharing.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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Music for the Brain

Sometimes I get lost in the sea of emotions within my body and brain. Sometimes I do not know how to feel. Obviously, happiness is always the goal. But, occasionally I falter.

I slip into something dark, depressed. I feel different. I don’t feel like myself. I get a weird feeling emanating within my body. Anxiety creeps up. It arises from different sources. Negative thoughts, reliving a past memory, or even something as simple as a bad day at work.

I find myself sitting in my room listening to music, instead of enjoying the beautiful weather outside. On these particular days, sad music always seems to help.

It seems counter-productive. Shouldn’t I listen to upbeat music to get out of my funk?

In the sea of emotions, sad music seems to calm me down. It helps me think, assess, and evaluate. It makes me feel like I am not going through this alone. Recently, I connected with “That Power” by Childish Gambino.

“I like you and you like me and I more-than-like you, but I don’t know if you do or don’t more-than-like me. You’ve never said, so I haven’t been saying anything all summer, content to enjoy the small miracle of a girl choosing to talk to me and choosing to do so again the next day and so on. A girl who’s smart and funny and who, if I say something dumb for a laugh, is willing to say something two or three times as dumb to make me laugh, but who also gets weird and wise sometimes in a way I could never be.” – Childish Gambino

This little blurb does not do justice to the entire story, but it summarizes my thoughts and feelings quite nicely.

I hate to admit it, but I have girl problems. It seems like I always have girl problems. Girls are just always on my mind. Although, recently, just one. She takes up all my mental energy.

I don’t know if she likes me. She has never said it. But I definitely feel it. Or maybe I am delusional. I’m not too sure anymore.

Music Taps into our Emotions

Have you ever listened to a piece of music and smiled? Or felt sad? Whether from the music itself, or from our associations with the music, music taps into our emotional systems.

I listen to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bob Marley and ease drifts into my body. No matter how bad a situation may be, it is always important to remember to be happy. It temporarily soothes my mind from the aching thoughts that arises on occasion.

Many people use this in a therapeutic way, listening to certain music that makes them feel a certain way.

Suddenly, I do not feel as alone. Someone else is experiencing what I am.

Use Music As a Cure to the Brain

It is hard to find perspective in my brain when it is clouded with thoughts. It is hard to single out something and think about it. Often, multiple thoughts arise and battle for domination.

Listening to sad music puts things into perspective. It helps me sort my thoughts and focus on one. People have girl problems. It is just a part of life.

Use music as a stepping-stone. Learn, heal and progress through your strife.

I often find myself in the same position time and time again. But this time will be different. This time I have music as an ally, helping me fight against my brain voice.

Lastly, this article was a request from a close friend. I hope this was to your satisfaction. If anyone has any requests, you can comment below or contact me directly.

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