The Most Powerful Technique For Change: The Interrupt Mantra

I Was Starting To Feel Like A Robot.

After being alive for 22 years so many of my reactions were automatic, as if the result of programming over time. Even my thoughts were automatic.

Someone insults me, I become angry and brood over it. A girl that I think is cute stands near me, I immediately become self conscious. I worry about things I can’t control even though I know it does nothing to help, I become anxious.

I would spiral into my thoughts without ever taking a moment to question whether these feelings and thoughts really represented me, or if they were just auto-pilot responses.

Your Brain Wants To Conserve Energy.

Do you ever look out the window on a rainy day? At first the rain goes anywhere, but it quickly starts to form paths and the rest of the water follows down those paths. It’s easier to travel where it has already been, it follows the path of least resistance.

Your brain is the same way. If you have encountered a situation before, you’re brain will recognize it and go on auto-pilot, reacting the same way it did in the past. It will associate this situation with the situations before it and follow protocol.

*Beep Boop* Attractive member of opposite sex is nearby. Initiate low self-esteem thought pattern. *Beep Boop*

But I was tired of doing what I had always done, I was only getting what I had always got.

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”
-Albert Einstein

Seeing Things As They Are.

I wanted out of the endless loops and auto-pilot reactions. I wanted to take control of my life again.

I had to consciously choose to see everything with fresh eyes. I needed to decide at every moment if my thoughts were serving me, or harming me.

“The mind: A beautiful servant, a dangerous master.”
-OSHO

Many of the qualities that I didn’t want were being inflated by these auto-pilot reactions.

Once I started seeing everything for what it was and not allowing these automatic thought patterns take over, I realized that I had not respecting myself.

I was allowing myself to become angry over nothing, to worry about nothing, to feel unworthy over nothing. My automatic reactions were always negative.

I needed to change the way I reacted to things. I needed to interrupt these automatic negative thoughts and replace them with my own, more useful, positive thoughts.

The Interrupt Mantra.

This is a resourceful technique that I have taught to many people with great success.

Once you have identified a negative automatic thought pattern—maybe you get lost in thoughts of being unworthy, angry or depressed—you have to come up with an interrupt mantra that combats it.

If you have problems with anger your interrupt mantra might read something like this: “I am a calm person, I value my happiness over all else and I will not let outside events control me.”

When a situation arises that sends you into the auto-pilot response of getting angry, you interrupt those thoughts with your interrupt mantra. Repeat your mantra as many times as you need to until you pull yourself out.

At first the interrupt mantra will just serve as a way to stop yourself from spiraling into your negative thoughts, but after enough practice your new way of thinking will be your brains first reaction. It will be the path most taken, and will thus become the automatic response.

Try creating an interrupt mantra that suits your needs.

A couple examples:

ANGER: “I am a calm person, I value my happiness over all else and I will not let outside events control me.”

CONFIDENCE: “Being confident is not the absence of nerves, but carrying on despite them. I am confident that I can handle any situation that comes my way, even if it makes me nervous initially.”

ANXIETY: “It is useless to worry about things that I can not control. I am calm and I trust that everything will work out. Even if I worry sometimes, I will not let my worries beat me.”

SADNESS: “I am a strong person. I have been sad before and I have made it out alive. I can’t be defeated by sadness and I won’t allow it to take over.”

These interrupt mantras can be the first step in changing the way you react to the situations you face in life. It will feel a little unnatural to say them at first, you might not believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, but keep repeating them.

Keep interrupting the negative auto-pilot responses and keep reaching towards something better for yourself. You don’t deserve to be angry, sad, anxious, lonely, jealous, or anything that you don’t want to be.

You can change the way you think, but it won’t be easy.

See things the way they are, decide what you want them to be, and use your interrupt mantra to move towards that goal.

The rain on your windowsill doesn’t automatically have to be a sad sight.
It can be whatever you want it to be.

1 Indisputable Way To Overcome Bad Days

We all have bad days. They are inevitable. Sometimes they are life-changing and devastating. In my last article, I said that change is necessary. Change is important for personal growth.

It is necessary because life wants to test your limits. It pushes you to your limits. And in that ‘make it or break it’ situation is where real growth occurs.

That being said, you still have to overcome the bad day. How do you conquer something when everything around you collapses and just nothing goes your way?

Well, yesterday my laptop died. Just two weeks before one of the biggest changes in my life, it dies and extra expenses occurred. But, worst of all, there goes all my data.

All my articles, journals, school assignments, and ideas, gone.

Poof.

Note to self: Excessively back-up everything from now on.

I wouldn’t find out for five hours if anything could be recovered. Waiting five hours were like standing on upright needles, holding a pink elephant above my head.

I screamed and cried. “Why does this always happen to me?” I affirmed. I even prayed.

I lost everything.

But then, I stopped. I dug inside myself. I began to come to terms with it. I started to rationalize.

Did I really lose everything? Well, no. I’m still here. I’m still breathing, walking, thinking, and feeling. To me, that is a miracle.

You are always alive

No matter how bad the situation is, if you are able to share your experience, thoughts and feelings with anyone, even yourself, there is still something to cling on to.

I found solace in that thought.

Data is nothing when it’s compared to your own life, your own humanity. In fact, very few things are considered devastating when you compare it your existence.

Next time something dramatic happens, sit and think:

“Well, what else? Can I breathe, feel, and think? Can I walk? Can I depend on someone? Am I able to come up with ideas? Can I be grateful?”

If you can say a resounding ‘yes!’ to even one of those, then you cannot be shaken.

“I cannot be thrown off the block during this challenge. This bad day does not define who I am. It will not throw me off my course.”

That is my mantra. Try it. Repeat it yourself out loud, over and over again.

When something devastating occurs, there is nothing that can pull you out but yourself. Social circles, family and prayer will definitely help, but in the end, it lies within you.

You possess the unbridled power to change how you feel and how you react to any given situation. Introspection can do wonders when you’re having a terrible day.

Nothing is as bad as it seems when you compare it to your humanity.

As for my data, I recovered it and, through it all, I didn’t lose my sanity standing on upright needles, holding a pink elephant above my head.

Until next week my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

How To Escape Loneliness

Our family surrounds us at birth, and they’re present for the most part throughout your life, but they never warned you of the loneliness in this world. They never prepared you for the harsh truths and rough life that you may lead.

You were thrown headfirst endlessly seeking happiness and pleasure. Through the entire journey you fall and fail, and fall and fail some more, trying to find a speck of happiness in someone or something.

Your Social Circle

I depend on my social circle to a very large degree. I don’t know who I would be without them. I would be lost.

But before this blissful time, I was hopelessly alone. All through elementary and high school, I just had myself. I was ridiculed and severely unhappy.

In elementary school, I would pretend I was sick and stay home. In high school, I hung out with the librarian and that was where I would eat my lunches, while he talked about his war stories and medical history.

Neither of us enjoyed it.

Your significant other

One of the earliest memories of relationships was from grade 3. Susie was her name. Or maybe, it was Suzy? I told her I liked her, and she screamed and ran away. All the kids made fun of me. I was unhappy.

So what? If girls had cooties, I was okay with it.

Apparently, my peers weren’t. I never had another relationship until high school, which ended terribly and I was emotionally destroyed. After the break-up, I would work seventy-hour weeks just to drown out the emptiness I felt.

Work, work, sleep, and repeat.

Curtis had an xbox

The kid down the street had an Xbox. I hated him. I wanted an Xbox. I deserved one. I got decent grades and I never hurt anyone. Why did he get one and I didn’t?

His parents were rich.

Maybe you have both, friends and a significant other, but something is missing. Your social life is flourishing, but you need an xbox to be happy. That will impress others! If others are impressed, they’ll like you and you’ll be happy.

But then I got that Xbox, and I had a sense of bliss for a little while. But, no one was impressed, no one liked me, and I wasn’t happy.

What’s the solution?

I like to think all factors in my life as external factors. These only supplement happiness, but they don’t provide baseline happiness.

Baseline happiness comes from inside you. It comes from own self-realization that you’re worthy to be happy. Everyone can be happy, but it must come from within.

My friends provide additional happiness, but, first, the baseline must be achieved. In order to make friends, I had to be happy first. I had to realize that I am worthy enough to have friends.

I don’t have a significant other to share everything. However, I am happy, and in time, someone significant will come, but only after I’ve accepted myself wholly.

Xbox and copious amounts of money will not bring you happiness. It might make your life easier for a little bit. But it’s never enough. The richest people are also the most unfulfilled. They realized, the hard way, that money can’t buy happiness. You will be able to have anything you want, but in the end, those items bring just momentary happiness.

When you are able to be happy alone, everything else falls in place. You have to discover intrinsic happiness for yourself. Being happy will take work and time, but search for it.

Give yourself a moment each day to figure out what happiness means to you, what it will take, and how you can achieve it today. Happiness varies from person to person. Discover it for yourself.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

GETTING OUT OF A FUNK

I’m in a bit of a funk.

Something is off, though I am not sure what.

When something happens and it upsets me I can figure out how to solve the problem, and then the bad mood will go away.

When I don’t have a reason for being in a weird mood I become frustrated. Everything piles up on me without explanation.

I feel lonely and empty. I start to view everything from a negative light. I’m not like myself at all.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

How do we escape these feelings if we don’t know where they come from?

I prefer to focus on solutions rather than the problems so let’s ignore the thousands of hours we could spend figuring out the why, and instead focus on the how.

These are four tips I remind myself of every time I get into one of these moods. I hope that they help you as much as they have helped me.

Write your grateful list.

You don’t have to be surrounded by family eating turkey to be grateful.

You will be beat up, tired, lonely and heartbroken throughout this life. During these times being grateful for whatever you do have can be the only thing that saves you.

I jump to this tip as soon as I feel even a slight funk coming on.

Write down ten things you are grateful for, or twenty, or thirty. As many as you need to remember that there is always something in your life worth feeling good about.

The worse off you are, the deeper you will have to dig. But if you find something to be grateful for at rock bottom, you’ll never have to worry about falling again.

Change the channel.

If you are in a bad mood, think back to a time when you were happy. What was really all that different?

You still had troubles, worries, fears and problems. You were still the same living, breathing person you are today.

I remind myself of this to remember that my mood isn’t who I am.
It’s just a channel I’m on.

Do anything you can to change that channel. Don’t give in and listen to that sad music, instead watch a stand up special.

Instead of writing your sad poetry try playing chess online, meditating, reading or anything that is outside of the norm for you.

Shake things up and change your channel.

Focus on others.

Being upset requires a certain degree of selfishness. “Why are things so bad for me? Why don’t they love me? Why can’t I just catch a break?”

I’m not saying it’s wrong, that’s just the way I look at it.

To get out of the funk, you have to switch your focus to others.

I prefer to do this by messaging someone I haven’t spoken to in a while out of the blue. I don’t try to get their advice or burden them with my problems. I tell them that I miss them. I try to express how much they mean to me regardless of how close we are to each other.

There are many ways to shift your focus though. Anything from volunteering to spending some time petting a cat will help.

It’s hard to feel down on yourself when you are focused on someone else. I guarantee if you make another person’s day brighter, you will catch some of that light as well.

When all else fails, decide to reset tomorrow.

Sometimes I am in a funk, I’ve tried everything, and there is no way out.

At this point I remind myself that this is just a feeling, not who I am. Maybe today is a write off, but tomorrow is a new day.

You will be happy again, and unfortunately, you will also be sad again.

But every day ends, and every new morning will begin. Focus on restarting tomorrow.

Writing this has helped me with my funk. For that, I thank you. By doing this I have focused on others and changed the channel.

I think today is a bit of a write off, so I’ll go to bed now.
And tomorrow… well, tomorrow is another day and I am grateful.

Endless Progression

Today was the first day at school. I was sitting in the lecture hall and I was looking at my older articles for inspiration to write about. I just couldn’t think of a topic.

Clearly, I was not paying attention to the lecture. I do not enjoy school, but that’s neither here nor there.

Earlier in my writing ‘career,’ I wrote an article untitled “The Summer Bucket List.” This article outlined everything I wanted to achieve by the end of the summer.

In it I mentioned skydiving, lavish trips to Vegas and NYC, and the ‘Go’ Game, among many other things.

As I was looking at this list, I realized that I hadn’t achieved any of it. I was a total failure. I set a bunch of goals and didn’t accomplish any of them. It was disheartening.

But, I had done other things. And while they weren’t listed goals, they were important. They helped me grow in more ways than one. I am a different person because of them.

For example, I started a business with my mother selling Indian sauces. That was a huge accomplishment. I started learning Spanish. That was a huge accomplishment. I became more focused, serious (in terms of life), and confident. That was a huge accomplishment.

Some things can be overlooked

Goals are just goals. Yes, it is incredibly important to have concise goals. But some things can be overlooked. Sure, I didn’t skydive. But really, if I did, would it have changed me?

Sure I didn’t go to NYC and Vegas. But, if I did, would I have made me any different? I feel like I would have had a lot of fun, been in the hole a few thousand dollars, and continued the same path that I was on.

I wasn’t able to finish the summer bucket list. That’s okay. I am still progressing, still changing, and still improving.

Two Sides to Every Coin

Life is interesting. There are literally two (or more) ways to deal with every situation. There is never one route to consider. I love that about life.

I could have looked at my incomplete list and been completely shattered. I could have wallowed in my own failures and stayed sedentary. There is no progress in wallowing. There is only self-loathing and self-pity.

That route leads to nowhere. You continue to dwell in the past mistakes and failures and hinders your ability to move forward, to look at the other routes.

For me, I’ve realized that there are two options: an optimistic and a pessimistic option. I opt for the optimistic approach. I just feel overall better when doing so.

Inadvertently, I realized an incredible lesson today. Goals are incredibly important. It can be the difference in achieving and not achieving something. They are necessary to progressing, developing, and growing.

As long as you are progressing in one-way or another, you’re doing great. Sedentary behavior produces a sedentary self. Always look for a new way to progress, a new way to improve.

But equally as important in progressing, is the recognition of self. Next time you set a goal for yourself and don’t complete it, do not wallow.

Use it as a stepping-stone to complete at a later date. Lastly, recognize that it is not the end of the world. You are still you. You are still amazing. You are still beautiful. And you are still progressing.

Be bold, be free, and love on.