How The HelpfulGuys Help Each Other

Here at 2HelpfulGuys we cut through distractions, remove illusions and get right to the heart of the subjects that will allow us all to grow to our fullest potential.

In our 130 articles we’ve explored many topics including becoming more confident, pushing through obstacles, changing your daily habits and designing your dream life, to even just getting through a bad day.

Although, it isn’t to often that we discuss how the 2HelpfulGuys operate together to create this optimal environment for our constant growth.

In this article I hope to show you the types of qualities you should look for in your relationships, friendships, and business partnerships. No one can do everything alone, and having the right people around you can be the deciding factor in whether or not you lead a happy and successful life.

Today, I am going to pull back the curtains and discuss my friendship and business partnership with my fellow HelpfulGuy: Leroy Milton.

Strengths And Weaknesses

Leroy and I met as coworkers at a grocery store when we were 16 or 17. Back then we were completely different people. He was reserved and shy, I was over-the-top outgoing.

He was a moral person who treated people with respect, he didn’t let things get to him very easily and always seemed happy. It is embarrassing to admit, but I was not a moral person at all.

Every one thought I was, but I lied a lot and didn’t feel much empathy towards other people. This was especially a problem in relationships, I would cheat and lie constantly. It’s not something I’m proud of.

Over the course of our friendship we learned a lot from our respective strengths.

I exposed Leroy to a lot of ideas and perspectives that he had never experienced before. I remember him saying at one point “I didn’t know people like you existed!” He became more outgoing and confident around me. One of my most cherished memories was when he said “I don’t worry about saying whatever joke is on my mind because when you’re around, I know i’ll get at least one laugh.”

He showed me what it is like to be a good person and how good it feels to be able to respect yourself.

I had ideas and knowledge, but I barely knew how to accomplish the most basic of tasks. He taught me so many life skills: Cleaning, working out, motivating yourself to accomplish things, cooking, and the list goes on and on.

But this isn’t just a feel good story.

Within everyone you meet, you will find that they have strengths and weaknesses. You can learn to emulate their strengths, and learn from their weaknesses.

Lifting You Up

The second quality you should be looking for in any of your relationships is support.

Whether you know it or not, we are all impressionable to a degree. The people you see most often have a great impact on your view of the world, and yourself.

If you keep people around you that doubt your abilities and put you down, their thinking will infect you. If you have people around you that encourage and support you, you will be able to bounce back from anything much faster.

Leroy and I have been through some rough times throughout our friendship. At times where I’ve felt like there is no hope left, he has been there to help me.

We can’t always be happy, or even stable, but if we can lean on the people around us we will never fall.

Respecting Boundaries And Rules

This is a big one. No matter how good a person is or how close you are, if they can’t respect your boundaries then it won’t work out.

One of the reasons that Leroy and I never argue is that accept each others lines in the sand.

An example of this is “The Box.”

Whenever there is someone or something that one of us doesn’t want to talk about, all we say is “Let’s just put it in the box.” and after that it is never mentioned again.

The best way to ensure a long lasting friendship or business partnership is to respect each others boundaries over all else. Even one step over the line can taint a relationship for good.

Leroy and I have been friends for a long time and I’ve learned a lot about friendship. I’m not saying that if you look for these qualities in a person that all problems will disappear, but with these qualities you can be assured that you will make it through any obstacles that come your way.

Our relationships with the people around us shapes us so much more than we can comprehend. I hope that you take a look at the relationships in your life and ask yourself if they are the quality you deserve.

What other qualities can you think of that foster amazing relationships?
Discuss in the comments below!

Finers

Three Keys To Improving ANY Relationship

Improving relationships with friends and significant others is a common goal amongst people. People want to connect more with others, on a deeper level.

That has led me to consciously consider my interactions and change them. It begins with having a good intention.

We meet great people and we’re so overwhelmed with excitement. We build this amazing relationship with that person and everything is great.

But then, the excitement dwindles and we get caught in a routine and we start to develop little pet peeves. That initial spark is forgotten. That zest of why the person was great eventually fades.

To create, improve or rejuvenate a once great relationship, your intention must be to be great. You have to make the other person feel great. You have to make the other person feel appreciated and loved. It’s difficult and we all fail, but I think these three methods can strengthen and improve any relationship.

Key #1 –  Be Present

I went out with this girl for coffee. Midway through, her phone rang and she was on it for 15 minutes, as I stared in dismay. After her social call, she couldn’t let go of her phone, constantly texting or fiddling.

She was sharing her eye contact between her phone and I. She couldn’t give me her undivided attention for longer than three minutes. I find that incredibly problematic.

Most issues in relationships are caused by a lack of attention. You cannot show respect to someone, pick up on peoples’ non-verbal cues or feelings and completely understand the other person unless you’re completely present in their lives.

But, you can stand out. You can be the anomaly. Make a meaningful connection with your eyes and body, be present and envelope them with your unhindered presence.

Leave your phone on silent when you’re with loved ones. Or just leave it at home, and go for a walk with the person. Give them your undivided attention and they will understand how much they mean to you.

The cellphone ding makes people feel important, but what’s more important than the person across from you sharing a coffee right now?

Key #2 – Appreciate Them

Most people get wrapped up in the idea that appreciation involves extravagant gifts or these large spectacles like writing ‘thank you” in the sky. I thought I needed those to show people how much I cared for them.

But people don’t want your gifts. They just want to be appreciated, appreciated for all the little things they do, and feel and, most importantly, appreciated for who they are.

Appreciate who they are as a human being and, above all, be there for them. Be there when they need you, and be there even when they don’t.

Through all their ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ and trials and tribulations, they want to know that you’re there and that you truly care.

The people in your life want to feel your real appreciation. Thank you loses its’ meaning the more you say it. Instead, say ‘I appreciate you for…’

Key #3 – Make Complimenting a Daily Habit

There is a lot of power in words and they often get taken for granted. We think nice things about our friends and significant others, but rarely express them.

It seems like criticism gets more of the spotlight than compliments. In reality, compliments should be dominating the life-stage.

We’ve become people that forgot how to say nice things. When was the last time you complimented your friend or significant other? Personally, it has been three days and that’s a long time to hold nice comments in.

Make it a daily habit, or instead, a challenge, to compliment someone you care about. Solidify it into your daily routine and don’t feel completely fulfilled until you’ve made someone’s day through your words.

Say something meaningful and unique to make each compliment really matter. Make the person in your life feel like there is no one else deserving of those words in that very moment. True compliments arise from love and adoration.

This is the hardest step of the three because it requires both of the above steps. You need to be present to recognize the little quirks and you need to be able to appreciate that person for who they are.

These methods will change and impact your relationships in a very significant way. They are simple and just require a little presence, appreciation, and daily kind words.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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The Girl Across The Street

Yesterday, I hung out with an old friend. I haven’t seen her since February and it was a delight. Truthfully speaking, I had a huge crush on her.

We went on a few dates and things just fizzled out. Initially, I was devastated. Before seeing her, I had a fear that those feelings might resurface. I might be stuck in an emotional rut as soon as I saw her.

I think I’m growing up. I saw her and everything went well. Those feelings that I was afraid off – they resurfaced – I dealt with them.

Let Me Backtrack

I had a crush on her because she was pretty much everything I wanted. She embodied the qualities I held most dear, we have amazing conversations, and she is beautiful.

I am the type of person that will always hold feelings, deep inside, for the people I like. The feelings just hide away. When I saw her yesterday, those feelings came out guns-blazing, but they were manageable.

Girls have always occupied a huge portion of my mental and physical energy. I’ve never really had great luck in the whole relationship category. It has always been hard for me to let go of past relationships.

Call it love?

I don’t know what it was. I don’t really understand what love is. Have I felt it? Maybe once? Maybe I’m just convincing myself of love. Or maybe, just maybe, I did feel it?

The Girl Across the Street

I fell hard and fast. It hit me like a brick wall hit Will E. Coyote. From the moment I saw her I was captivated. She also embodied everything I ever wanted.

wile-e-coyote-hits-rock-bottom

We got our feelings out. For a while I thought it was ACTUALLY going to work. Long story, short, it didn’t.

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I was an emotional rollercoaster for about 3 hours. I decided that it couldn’t affect me. There are too many priorities.

There are too many important things to worry about.

A Limited Amount of Energy

Do you spend it worrying about girls? Bills? Gossip? Work drama? I spent it on a whole lot of nonsense. I squandered it away, day-by-day, wallowing in my own self-pity.

That was a huge waste of mental energy. If I knew what I know now, back when I was 16, my life would have been different. Then again, I am a stronger person because of my 16-year-old experiences.

It makes me feel like the perfect girl is somewhere out there. But also, it makes me feel like there isn’t just one. In fact, I know that there are at least two that are out there right now. I know because I met them already.

I feel a sense of ease with that thought. Sure, it didn’t work out. But it allows me to continue on with my life, knowing that somewhere out there, there are multiple perfect girls for me.

I know that I do not have to spend the mental energy wallowing when something does not work out. I know that I will be okay.

What do you choose to spend the energy on? You have a finite amount of energy every single day. I urge you to stop squandering it, like I have, and start improving your life.

Move forward for the all petty things taking over your life and spend that valuable energy on yourself. Use it to constantly and never-endingly improve.

For the first time, I experienced ‘love at first sight.’ Was it meant to be? I guess not. But it’s nice to know that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Be bold, be free, and love on.