The Recalibration Technique

Habits control every aspect of our entire lives. What time we wake up in the morning to what we consume daily to whether or not we binge eat those cookies are all governed by habits.

What is a habit?

A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.

As we continually do the same activities every day, our brain becomes accustomed to the same stimulation. It forms strong neural connections, which makes the activity easier and easier to occur.

Eventually, our brain conducts itself automatically. It chooses to take the shortest, simplest path to immediate gratification.

Binge eating cookies is just an automatic habit because our brain knows we love cookies. Smoking cigarettes when we’re stressed are automatic patterns that our brains use because at one time we used cigarettes to cope with stress.

Building strong effective habits are the foundation for a stable healthy lifestyle. But today, we’re not going to focus on my unhealthy addiction to cookies or someone’s unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Instead, let’s talk about the Recalibration Technique

Everyone has goals and aspirations that they want to achieve. We have dreams that garner all our attention and energy but over time we dwindle, until our dream is left stranded.

But when was the last time we sat down and consciously thought and put purposeful energy towards our purpose?

From time to time it’s worthwhile to stop and take stock of our lives. But it seems we only do this practice towards the beginning or end of a year.

To deepen our understanding of our purpose we must first learn lessons from the past and move with purposeful action towards the future. We must continue to refocus our lives and slowly build clarity of our purpose.

The Recalibration Technique provides a framework to build focus and clarity. Through these two simple questions that we developed, we are able to recalibrate our minds when we falter.

1) Am I purposefully using my time and energy towards my dream?

With the constant hustle of life, it can be hard to focus on our purpose and ourselves. We get lost in the fast lane, as life passes us by.

We should ask ourselves this question to refocus our life and make small steps towards our passions. Aim to move towards your goal by just 1% each week.

If you want to write a book, write just one paragraph (or page) a day. If you want to paint a masterpiece, just do a few strokes a day. If you want to learn, sing, or act, just make some small moves by reading, humming or roleplaying every day.

Every day is a new day to move closer to your dreams. Use it appropriately.

Without a clear understanding of where our lives are heading and when we will achieve it, we are just wasting our most precious resource – energy.

2) Where can I expend less energy to spend more on my dream?

Everyday we are constantly bombarded with mind-numbing tasks. People want our energy and time and we allow them to steal it without batting an eyelash.

Refocus your spare time and energy towards your goal. Ask yourself where you frequently compromise your time. Where do you frequently consume negativity because you feel like you are stuck in a situation?

We are never stuck in any situation. We choose to be in the current situation through our mindsets and perceptions.

Which situation or action can we desist to pursue more purposeful actions towards our happiness and dream? When can we say a resounding ‘No’ to the negative energy, people and situations in our lives to pursue the positive counterparts?

Your choices and decisions make up whom you are. Chose them wisely.

Here is your mission if you choose to accept it:

Ask yourself these two simple questions once a week and slowly move towards once a day. Take some time, find a quiet spot and write or type your way through the answers.

The Recalibration Technique is intended to help you live with greater purpose and more passion. As the habit is solidified, your brain will constantly refocus your life and will take the shortest, easiest path towards it.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

FINDING YOUR PURPOSE

My last post was called “LIVING YOUR LIFE FOR YOURSELF”

It was about a big change in my life that I have made in order to follow my dreams.

In this post I received a question from “TheFourthIdiot” owner of the blog http://inspiringinfinity.wordpress.com/

His question was essentially this:
How do yo proceed down your path if you are not even sure if it is the right path? How do you develop the unshakable faith required to take great leaps towards this dream in the face of risk?

First, I will speak about my general perspective on finding life’s purpose and then I will give practical tips to help you find out what your purpose is, or build confidence in the purpose you already feel.

I have always struggled with the idea of a single purpose or dream.

I wrote an article about this some time ago when I was contemplating the future in a panic, wondering if I’ll ever figure out what I want to do with my life.

I had tried so many things and failed spectacularly at every single one of them. I had gone deep into different paths and realized that none of these things were right for me.

But what I didn’t realize back then was that each path had led me to the next. Not only that, each path gave me new tools to carve my way through the next.

Learning drums taught me the universal truths to learning anything. Being in a band taught me how to get people to work together towards a goal. Doing sales taught me the ability to articulate myself more efficiently and convincingly.

Alas, none of these paths were right for me. I’m writing this blog and doing these videos right now and I still can’t be sure if this is my life’s mission.

But now I have confidence that moving forward down this path will give me new tools and lead me where I need to go.

Your dream will change as you grow.

This is inevitable. You aren’t meant to just do one thing with your life.

But you are meant to pursue things in your life that are meaningful to you. If you aren’t going after any dream then you won’t be lead to the next one.

My main point here is that you should never fear whether your path is right or wrong.

You will never have to retrace your steps on this path and start over.

If it isn’t meant to be, a new path with appear somewhere down the road when you are a new person with new tools and different perspectives.

But you have to start somewhere.

So here are my practical tips for figuring out what you should be doing right now.

Some questions with some important answers.

Answer this list of questions over the period of a week. Keep them in the back of your mind and write down anything you come up with throughout this time.

What are you hobbies/passions?

I don’t just mean flying kites and collecting stamps. Write down anything you do that you don’t get paid for and enjoy nonetheless.

Blogging, video games, gardening, meditation, yoga, fitness, dieting, helping people, building, drawing, photography, knitting and a world of others can fall into this category.

What are your talents/skills.

What have you learned throughout your life that you are good at?

Can you play an instrument? Are you good with your hands? Are you good with words? Do you have a knack for organization? What have you shown an aptitude for in your current and previous jobs?

Write down all of your talents because more than likely some of these things will be incorporated in your path.

When have you been happiest?

Think back to your past jobs, experiences and hobbies to further define what makes you happiest. These things will be clues to what the overarching theme of your life should be.

What do you want to be remembered for?

This is a question that gave me a lot of insight into what I wanted to do with my life.

After much thought I realized that I wanted to be remember for helping people. I didn’t know how I would help people or who I would be helping, but I knew that I wanted to make people’s lives better.

How do you want to be remembered? As a millionaire business guru? As a creator of beautiful works of art? Or as someone who raised a beautiful family that will go on to improve the world?

Combining these answers with the next exercise will get you that much closer to knowing what you should be working towards.

Invigorate or debilitate?

Write down everything you do for a week, even the boring tasks.

Breakfast, showering, playing video games, projects, work, social life, everything.

Once you have done this I want you to create two columns on a “T Chart”. One for things that invigorate you, giving you energy/happiness, and one for things that debilitate or drain you.

Split everything you have done that week into these two columns.

You will often find that the path you should be working towards involves things you are already doing. Look through the list of invigorating things, combine it with your list of passions and your list of skills.

Lay it all out in front of you and look at it every day. Let these things cultivate in your mind.

Now that you know what you enjoy, what you are good at, the things that invigorate you in your life, the times you were happiest and the way you want to be remembered, I am confident that your next path will appear from the fog.

No one can tell you what your path is.

And you can’t even be sure that you will stay on the same path for the rest of your life.

But follow the path that lies before you now, one that leads you to a dream, and you will gain new tools and perspectives that will open new paths in the future.
That is what will give you the confidence to move forward.

You never have to worry about failing. I’ve failed a million times, but moving forward towards a dream has always lead me in the right direction.

But being afraid to follow a dream, that will only lead to nightmares.

With love,
Steven Farquharson, 2HG.

Replace your Should with a Could

They say you should be yourself.

I’m not sure who they are but I’m starting to think that they are on to something.

Every time you act like someone you aren’t or do something you don’t want to just to appease someone, you get a little bit further away from who you are.

Fear

Everyone agrees that you should be yourself. There are thousands of quotes and motivational pictures depicting this. No one would ever tell you “Be more like someone else.”

So why is it people still spend so much of their time doing things they don’t want to, and traveling down a path that isn’t right for them?

It’s because of fear. They are afraid that what they want in their heart won’t work out.

Afraid that if they take the leap there won’t be anything there to catch them.

They let fear push them into a corner.

Should

I hate that word. I encourage you to throw it out of your vocabulary.

Whenever you are using this word it’s because you’re thinking about something that you don’t want to do, but for some reason feel like you have to.

I should go to university. I should get a normal job. I should settle down.

This word is a virus that you have because you’ve been surrounded by it your whole life. You parents, teachers, peers and society have all instilled their own “shoulds” into you.

After writing that word so many times it looks alien to me. I hope it looks alien to you as well.

Every time this word appears in your life I want you to think very carefully about how it got there and if you really need it.

Could

I would encourage you instead to replace all of your shoulds with coulds.

Could is a word that I can get behind. It allows you to imagine possibilities.

When you are thinking of a could, you are allowing yourself to believe in something that you want.

I could start that business I’ve been thinking about. I could talk to that cute cashier. I could travel around Europe.

It’s a much more useful word.

Rid yourself of the shoulds and start thinking in coulds.

You’ll explore more of who you are and less of who other people want you to be.

Ten Commandments Of Learning

I’ve tried a few things in my lifetime. Some of them I have been good at, and others have caused me to fall flat on my face like Bambi.

I’ve learned how to play the drums, how to do door to door sales, speak/act on a public stage, create YouTube videos, work out, and the list goes on.

I’ve always enjoyed learning new things and throughout the years I started to realize that any venture you plan on undertaking will have certain universal truths that can help you be successful.
And save you a LOT of time.

I could write an article on each of these, but I want to give you something comprehensive.

Without further ado, here are my “Ten Commandments of Learning.”

1) Be Passionate

No matter what you are going to try, you have to have passion.
It has to invigorate you.

If your venture doesn’t excite you then at some point you are going to lose interest and motivation. You don’t want to get into something that you will eventually drop and forget about.

If the thought of sewing doesn’t excite you, pick something else. This should be common sense but you would be surprised how many people do things with a lack of passion.

Maybe they want to impress other people or they think it’s something they should learn.

Don’t do something for any other reason than fulfilling a passion. Otherwise the results will be lack luster and you will waste your time.

2) Learn From The Professionals

We are lucky to live in the internet age. There are thousands of qualified people giving out free information at every turn.

Instead of just jumping in head first without knowing anything, take a little bit of time to research some people that have already succeeded in your venture and allow them to be digital mentors.

If you have a credible professional closer to you then great, learn in person. Unfortunately most people won’t have that luxury.

You can find hundreds of YouTube videos, blogs, magazines and podcasts on any topic.

This will save you a lot of time spent learning things the hard way. These people have already learned things the hard way, use them as a resource.

Get a digital mentor, or ten, and get cracking.

3) Start Small (*ere ere* Break it down now)
My impression of DJ scratching.

I can not stress how important this one is. Learn the absolute basics first, master them, and then move on to the next stages.

When I was teaching people how to do door to door sales I would focus on one thing at a time. Usually I would start with body language or voice projection.

I wouldn’t even worry about the pitch, closing a sale, or any fine details for a while.

Before any of that, they had to learn the basics.

When you learn an instrument you don’t start off playing Mozart. You don’t even learn a song right away.

First, you start by learning how to hold it, how to play scales and how to take care of it.

Learn what the basics are and then master them.

4) Fall Into A Phase

If you want to learn something effectively you have to immerse yourself in it. Willingly accept that this is something you love and for a time it will take up a lot of your attention.

People might become annoyed when they notice that you talk about this venture a lot and you relate everything back to it, but this will help integrate it into your very being.

I learn everything by going into phases. Right now I am in a positive thinking and willpower phase. I watch YouTube videos about it, listen to audio books, meditate, do positive affirmations and a whole list of other things.

When you go into a phase you may partially neglect other parts of your life and that’s fine because right now you are focusing on something important to you.

You also have to realize that this venture won’t be your main focus for your whole life, but after it is over the lessons you learned will be integrated into you and will help you in any other endeavors.

Allow yourself to fall into a phase and you will learn ten times faster.

5) Dedicate An Allotted Daily Time to Practice

So you have allowed yourself to fall down the rabbit hole and you are deep in a phase.

You spend time learning about your venture, and immersing yourself in your venture, but you must ensure you practice it.

All the theory in the world isn’t worth anything if you never practice and you need to set aside a daily time slot to do so.
It has to be everyday, non-negotiable.

It can be an hour, or ten minutes. If you think you don’t have enough time to practice, then make the time.

Wake up a half hour earlier and do it then, before the birds are chirping and the world is breathing down your neck.

This goes hand in hand with being in a phase because you might not be able to do this for your whole life.

But right now, you need to do it. Get it done everyday, no excuses.

6) Connect With Others On The Same Path

I am a firm believer that you can’t do everything on your own.

You will run into other people while you are venturing down your path. Use their help.

Ask them for advice, get them to practice with you, have discussions with them, and allow them to be a part of your immersion process.

You can find these people on forums, in YouTube comments, or in everyday life.

If you surround yourself with people that have the same interest you will always have a second perspective and a motivator.

7) Allow Yourself To Fail

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Anything you have ever done, you have failed at. From speaking, to walking, to brushing your teeth, and everything in between.

The first thirty times you tried walking you literally fell flat on your ass.

So why do we associate failure with embarrassment when we are older?

I guarantee that if you fail at anything one hundred times, you will be better at it than ninety percent of people.

You will learn a bit about yourself, and your craft, every time you fail.

The difference between the master and the beginner is that the master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried.

8) Teach Another Person

This is the part of the puzzle that most people never fit in. In order to truly internalize a skill you need to teach it.

This will force you to look at the learning experience from every angle and examine your craft down to the smallest details so that you can answer any question.

When you teach someone else something that you have learned, they will experience obstacles that you may not have experienced. You will learn from their failures just as you learned from yours.

Not to mention that you will be helping someone and making the world better.
Each one teach one.

9) Keep It In Your Thoughts

Before you go to bed and night and when you wake up in the morning make sure your venture is on your mind.

Imagine yourself at the end of your journey, a master of new skills, a more resilient version of yourself.

Remind yourself why you started, and why you will persevere through any obstacles.

I like to do this by having daily affirmations. Before I lay in bed at night and before I get up in the morning I repeat a chosen phrase to myself. I close my eyes and visualize my goal as if I am already there.

The mind is a powerful thing and whatever you focus on the most is what will come to fruition in your life.
Make sure it is your goal.

10) Be Humble

Never assume that you know more than anyone else. Take criticism gracefully.

Take the positive out of everything that you can and leave the negative behind.

You must always view yourself as a student, learning as much as you can from all sources.

It is essential that you remain humble and open, otherwise you will not be in the state required for optimal learning. If you are closed minded and arrogant you won’t grow.

These are my ten commandments for learning.

I live by them every day. They will give you the foundation to build your dreams on.

Learning something new is always scary, but if you remember that the commandments are always the same you will feel as though you are walking a familiar path.
It’s a beautiful stroll, isn’t it?

The Purpose

When I was kid, I wanted to be a wrestler. I wasn’t a hardcore wrestling fan but the few times I watched it, it interested me. I wanted to fly off the top rope and elbow drop someone. I wanted to choke slam somebody. I wanted to power-bomb someone (A little part still wants to).

I was a violent kid.

My purpose changed multiple times. I wanted to be a pilot, engineer, firefighter, and police officer. I didn’t give up, but instead, I merely lost interest. Or maybe I wasn’t good at it, I’m not too sure.

“Whenever you leave behind a failure, you’re doing good. If you think everything you’ve done is great, you’re probably dumb.” -Louis C.K.

If you’re like me, maybe you haven’t discovered what you good at. The law of nature states that you have one thing that you can do better than everyone else. I think that is BS.

I think that it just takes time, dedication, and love. Purpose can be developed for nearly anything you want to achieve.

You don’t need a Singular Purpose 

When we are younger, we are told to eat breakfast, wash behind our ears, go to school and learn, sleep, and do it all over again. I internalized that. I thought that was my sole purpose. I continue to do it, even now, as I am stuck in the formal institution of university.

I think I got too wrapped up in one thing. I focused on one purpose too much and continued to lose interest. Here’s the problem: We don’t just have one passion or love in life.

The universe wants us to have fun doing more than one thing in life. That’s how you learn. You don’t need only one purpose in life. You have maybe 500 or so.

Divide your mental on energy on a number of different things. You don’t just have to pick one. But then, you say, “How will I ever be the best?”

The 1000-Hour Rule

This is extremely different from the 10,000-hour rule, popularized by Malcolm Gladwell. It basically states that in order to be an expert at something, you must dedicate 10,000 hours of practice to master a field.

But 10,000 hours takes anywhere from 5-30 years of your life. I don’t have that much time to dedicate solely to one thing. Instead, practice the 1000 hour rule.

If you practice anything for 1000 hours and make sure its dedicated practice then you will still be among the best in the world. With the first 1000 hours, you experience a steep learning curve. The hours that follow is spent fine-tuning and honing the subtleties.

But here’s the thing. No one can tell the difference and no one cares. The experts appreciate the 10,000-hour man, but the general population cannot tell the difference in the subtleties. You can appear to be the best in world just by putting in 1000 hours.

As I got older, my purpose changed. Drifted to multiple other avenues and I tried my hand in different things. I wasn’t very good at any of them. Now, I am trying writing and being creative with YouTube.

I think I am pretty good at it. I am slowly chipping away at the 1,000 hours, slowing honing my craft. Maybe I will stop writing and being creative. Maybe I will pick up something completely different like wine tasting or Bee-Keeping and become the best at that.

Regardless of the craft, I choose, I know that there are others out there waiting for me to discover. I implore you, discover something you enjoy and pursue it. If you lose interest, that is okay. Find the other 499.