Four Pillars To A Fulfilling Life P.2

We believe that simplification is the key to living a fulfilling life. Sometimes we’re surrounded with too many distractions and people to think about our own lives.

But when you break it down, it is pretty straightforward. We believe that the key to a fulfilling life lies in four pillars: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Last week we covered the first two – physical and mental – so naturally this week, we’ll get to the last two – emotional and spiritual.

We’ve found that each of these ‘rules’ needs to be satisfied in order to keep our bodies and minds in complete working order.

We don’t believe that any one is more important than the other. Each pillar should be strived for equally. They are all important when chasing the fulfilling life.

Each pillar is a support beam holding up the building (your body and mind). Strong building blocks create a strong unshakeable fortress. When you are unshakeable, the world does not affect you and can live to your own volition.

Emotional

The emotional pillar solely consists of a single category – your relationships. Broken down into several subcategories – friends, intimate partners, co-workers and strangers – they can impact your mood, actions, and, in turn, your life.

Who you choose to surround yourself with directly affects the building blocks to your unshakeable fortress.

1) Friends

Your friends can make or break you. They can make you laugh uncontrollably or cry endlessly. Choose them wisely. Surround yourself with friends that have your best interests in mind. Friends that will help you in your time of need. Friends that can lift you up, when you’re down.

2) Intimate Partners

Your intimate partner can be the guiding light or the darkness in your life. Choose a partner that will challenge you and force you to grow. Someone that will tell you you’re wrong and pat you on the back when you’re right.

People stay in horrible relationships for a multitude of reasons – dependency, loneliness, and insecurity – but never realize that it’s toxic. Toxic relationships are a barrier to your end goal.

3) Co-Workers

You have direct power over the first two categories, but for co-workers, sometimes we’re stuck with negative, life-draining people. Co-workers that complain endlessly and demand our immediate attention for meaningless tasks and water-cooler gossip. Even so, you have some power.

Say you have work to and walk away or you can listen to them for a brief moment, but never give their negativity weight in your head. Let it enter your ears and immediately let the negativity vanish into the air.

4) Strangers

Strangers are the most insignificant group, but they also possess the most power. We seem to internalize their uninformed opinions of ourselves – body image, life choices or negativity – and allow it to affect our mood and actions.

Acknowledge these people as an insignificant group. Don’t give them the power over you. Take them with a grain of salt and shrug them away. Shrug away their negative opinions and little problems. They are there to pin you to their low level.

You are a compilation of the five closest people to yourself. If you surround yourself with toxic people, you eventually become toxic. Eventually, you’ll stop laughing, growing and appreciating as their negativity seeps into every orifice.

Spiritual

The spiritual pillar is completely open to interpretation. Whether you’re Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist or any other faith, simply have something.

You don’t even need to be religious. You can simply just sit in silence everyday and meditate or believe and appreciate life itself. Whatever your beliefs consist of, just give yourself some time every single day to silently reflect.

When we work out, we’re told to allow our muscles some rest to recover. What about our most precious asset? The organ that completely affects all that we feel, manifest and do.

Sit down and think about absolutely nothing. Spend some time each day and simply practice gratitude. Gratitude for life, love and friendships. For the simple pleasures – water, food, ability to breathe – the things we often take for granted.

Your brain needs the same rest that your body craves after a long workout. The effects are immediate and drastic. Suspend the amazing feeling and continue to strive towards it each day.

We have found that when we simultaneously improve all four of these pillars, everything in our lives seems to fall into place.

We all face difficult times and unexpected problems. When we work everyday to improve our four pillars, no matter how great the struggle, we seem to overcome it easily.

Today and everyday, aim for constant improvement.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

Four Pillars To A Fulfilling Life P.1

Living a fulfilling life can be a difficult task. Everyone has a different idea of what a fulfilling life consists of.

For me, the ‘rules’ are simple. I like simplification.

When understanding how to live a fulfilling life, I ask myself, “What is the easiest method that I can implement to benefit others and myself?”

I’ve discovered many ‘rules’ to living a fulfilling life. They are broken down into four major categories – Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual – and they can be easily implemented with minimal effort.

Each of these four are major pillars (struts) holding up the building (your body and mind). Strong building blocks create an unshakeable fortress.

Physical

The physical pillar solely consists of your physical body. People attend school full-time to understand how the body works and how to achieve optimal health.

But as important as school may be, the information is very simple. Being healthy is a simple idea. You don’t need to school to understand how to be healthy.

The common sense approach tells us to treat our bodies with respect.

The process is simple – eat properly, sleep effectively, and move regularly.

Eating a diet of sugar and salt damages our fortress. Eat plenty of greens and drink ample water. Your body needs these things to function optimally.

People claim they can function on 5 hours of sleep, but minimal sleep eventually sneaks up on your body. Your days fly by, as you gloss over them in a sleepy haze. Your fortress needs at least 8 hours to function properly.

People that complain they have low energy or are generally unmotivated usually have desk jobs. A little daily exercise each day alleviates both those problems. You don’t need the gym to be active. Play some sports or go for a walk around your neighbourhood. Your body is not meant to be sedentary for long stretches of time.

When you disrespect your body, sometimes you will feel the effects immediately, like feeling lethargic after too much sugar. Sometimes the effects creep up on you, like progressively getting agitated because of little sleep.

Regardless of the outcome, your body tells you when it needs something. When something is lacking, it fights for it. Sometimes we have to let our bodies win, and eat better, sleep efficiently, and move frequently.

Mental

The mental pillar solely consists of your brain function. Everything you consume – knowledge, information, and news – affects our mental capabilities.

This pillar can also be simplified quite easily. Each day aim to learn something new or build on an existing skill/hobby.

As part of this pillar, I aim to read every single day. Even a few pages makes a difference in the way I feel.

“Poor people have big TVs. Rich people have big libraries.” – Jim Rohn.

What if you don’t like reading? Watch YouTube videos or listen to podcasts and audiobooks. One of my favourite YouTube channels is CrashCourse. The creators provide an overview using cute graphics from a variety of interesting topics.

Lastly, make it a goal to consume less news each day. The news rarely reports anything positive or uplifting. You don’t need the added negativity in your life.

I was going to move to the ‘emotional’ pillar next, but this article is already too long. Instead, I’ll cover the last two pillars next week.

While waiting, aim to improve each of these pillars – physical and mental – by 1% before next week. 1% is doable, right?

Just for this week, eat one extra vegetable per day, sleep an extra 15 minutes, and go for a short walk around your neighbourhood.

Just for this week, learn something that you’ve always wanted to learn, or read a book, listen to an audiobook on your commute, or simply just avoid the news.

These minor improvements compile and eventually you’ve improved significantly over the course of a few weeks.

Be sure to check back next week for the rest of this article.

When every aspect of our lives is clearly defined and progressing, life is easier. When living a fulfilling life, the unintended side effects are happiness and abundance.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The 1% Rule and Goals vs. Systems

When I first started working out, I wanted to see abs immediately. I remember waking up every morning and staring into my full-length mirror from every angle, simultaneously playing with the lighting in my washroom.

I woke up and started my day with disappointment. I never saw any change day-by-day. Everything looked the same. One giant ball of fat. When I look back now and remember where my body was and where it is now, I realized I’ve changed a lot.

Day-by-day it’s hard to see changes. But when you look back in time, everything seems different. For me, my goal has shifted from getting abs before (date), to improving a little everyday. The 1% rule is the most effective way to improve.

The 1% Rule

Every week aim to improve by 1% physically, emotionally, and mentally. A series of baby steps is less daunting than having the overarching goal of ‘have abs before (date),’ or ‘be happy,’ or ‘be smarter.’

Those goals are too large and hard to satisfy, in their own right. But when you aim to improve by 1% every week, you stop focusing on the big picture.

Improvement is made through a succession of little steps, not one large grandiose move.

Be active everyday (and eat healthy) and abs will be around the corner. Find happiness in the little day-to-day activities. Start reading or researching something you’re interested in everyday.

Whatever it may be, improving on it by just 1% each week adds up. Before you realize, you’ll look back and see how much you’ve changed.

Throw Away Goals, Develop Systems

Goals are okay for most people, in the sense that it provides some rough estimation of an endgame. Other than that, goals are terrible.

Sometimes you have too many goals and can’t satisfy them. Sometimes, you never reach your goals and are discouraged completely. Goals are terrible in that sense.

Instead, develop a system. Systems > goals. A system is a particular way of doing something, each time improving on it. A goal is just an endgame. When I started working out I would do abs every single day.

I had the goal of getting abs within the first 3 months (I failed). Then I moved that goal to the next 6 months (I failed). I was frustrated and moved it to within a year (I failed).

And I kept failing. I realized I had my mind so dead-set on the goal that I forgot about the system. My goal was abs and I did abs (that didn’t work). My system was be active everyday and I got abs (that worked).

Doing abs every single day became repetitive. I changed up the routine all the time, but before long, I burnt out. I would go through these ‘phases’ of short bursts of abs, followed by long hiatuses.

Goals never work. When I switched to the system, the mere daily activity made my abs show. For me, I believe systems are better than goals. Develop your own systems that improve you by just 1% every week.

You will see real physical, emotional, and mental changes each week and it will keep you coming back for more. You will thank me for it.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The Girl Across The Street

Yesterday, I hung out with an old friend. I haven’t seen her since February and it was a delight. Truthfully speaking, I had a huge crush on her.

We went on a few dates and things just fizzled out. Initially, I was devastated. Before seeing her, I had a fear that those feelings might resurface. I might be stuck in an emotional rut as soon as I saw her.

I think I’m growing up. I saw her and everything went well. Those feelings that I was afraid off – they resurfaced – I dealt with them.

Let Me Backtrack

I had a crush on her because she was pretty much everything I wanted. She embodied the qualities I held most dear, we have amazing conversations, and she is beautiful.

I am the type of person that will always hold feelings, deep inside, for the people I like. The feelings just hide away. When I saw her yesterday, those feelings came out guns-blazing, but they were manageable.

Girls have always occupied a huge portion of my mental and physical energy. I’ve never really had great luck in the whole relationship category. It has always been hard for me to let go of past relationships.

Call it love?

I don’t know what it was. I don’t really understand what love is. Have I felt it? Maybe once? Maybe I’m just convincing myself of love. Or maybe, just maybe, I did feel it?

The Girl Across the Street

I fell hard and fast. It hit me like a brick wall hit Will E. Coyote. From the moment I saw her I was captivated. She also embodied everything I ever wanted.

We got our feelings out. For a while I thought it was ACTUALLY going to work. Long story, short, it didn’t.

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I was an emotional rollercoaster for about 3 hours. I decided that it couldn’t affect me. There are too many priorities.

There are too many important things to worry about.

A Limited Amount of Energy

Do you spend it worrying about girls? Bills? Gossip? Work drama? I spent it on a whole lot of nonsense. I squandered it away, day-by-day, wallowing in my own self-pity.

That was a huge waste of mental energy. If I knew what I know now, back when I was 16, my life would have been different. Then again, I am a stronger person because of my 16-year-old experiences.

It makes me feel like the perfect girl is somewhere out there. But also, it makes me feel like there isn’t just one. In fact, I know that there are at least two that are out there right now. I know because I met them already.

I feel a sense of ease with that thought. Sure, it didn’t work out. But it allows me to continue on with my life, knowing that somewhere out there, there are multiple perfect girls for me.

I know that I do not have to spend the mental energy wallowing when something does not work out. I know that I will be okay.

What do you choose to spend the energy on? You have a finite amount of energy every single day. I urge you to stop squandering it, like I have, and start improving your life.

Move forward for the all petty things taking over your life and spend that valuable energy on yourself. Use it to constantly and never-endingly improve.

For the first time, I experienced ‘love at first sight.’ Was it meant to be? I guess not. But it’s nice to know that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

A Guide To The Most Important Thing In Your Life

We all want a lot of things in our lives.

We want financial freedom, love, travel, good health, family, accomplishment and much more. The only problem is when you pursue one of these, you lose time that you could have spent pursuing one of the others.

I like to simplify things as much as possible, it makes life easier. So I pursue one thing that will lead me to each of those things listed above. Call me efficient, call me lazy, but I want to try and make things easy for myself if possible.

So what do I focus on to help me reach all of my goals?
My personal energy.

How do you make decisions based on personal energy?

Your personal energy encompasses your mood, wakefulness, how excited you are and how positive you are, among other things. I will say it is anything that uplifts you mentally or physically.

I absolutely HATE shopping with a passion. It steals both my mental and physical energy. It drains me.

When I go to Walmart and I can’t find what I am looking for, or worse yet I don’t know what I’m looking for, it is only a matter of time before I am completely drained. At that point I just want to sit down and give up.

Some people love shopping and if that is the case then you would gain energy when you shop. Everyone has different energy boosters and drainers.

Since shopping is a drain for me I choose to write things that I need over a period of about a month and then go out and get all of them in one shopping session.

This way I know exactly what I need and only go shopping once a month. If I had to go out more often I’d be drained a lot more.

That is just one example of making decisions based on personal energy, but you get the point. You can apply this to what job you decide to take, whether you go out with friends, what movies you watch and pretty much anything else.

Try to do more of the things that boost your personal energy, and less of what drains it.

When you have energy everything improves.

Making decisions that keep your personal energy in mind will make everything you do in life slightly better.

Just think about it, when you are in a good mood you tend to work better. It causes you to have a better perspective, more resilience and you deal with people better.

Just imagine doing a job that you love versus a job that you hate.

When you imagine yourself doing the thing you enjoy, you probably see yourself working super hard and being proud of everything you do. If you fail, you are excited to try again.

When you see yourself at the job you hate, you probably feel the weight it would put on the rest of your life. You would dread every moment.

But sometimes you have to do things you don’t like to, things that drain you. I have a full time job that drains me sometimes. This is why you have to keep your personal energy in mind in other aspects of your life.

Waking up early and having a good breakfast increases my energy ten fold. Going to the gym has the same effect. Having breakfast helps me prepare for my work day and going to the gym helps me relax and allows me to enjoy myself after work.

Your energy affects everyone around you as well.

You already know this, though you may not have noticed it.

When an upset person walks into a room, they dampen everyone’s mood around them. You immediately feel the weight of their negative energy on your shoulders. It makes everything a little more awkward and painful.

On the other hand when someone who is full of relentlessly positive energy walks into a room everyone gets an immediate boost.

We all have that one friend who never seems to be upset. When they show up everyone says hi, hugs are thrown around, and people are generally happier.
Smiles everywhere!

When you become a person who is a source of good energy you improve all of your relationships.

How to increase your physical energy.

This is relatively simple, treat your body with respect.

1) Give your body the sleep it deserves, get at least eight hours each night. If you do this you will instantly give yourself a big boost to your physical energy.

2) Give your body food that will nourish it. Don’t feed it things that will upset your stomach or cause extreme ups and downs in energy. We all know how it feels after we have too much fast food in one sitting. You end up feeling bloated and lazy with an upset stomach.

3) Work your body a little bit each day, give it some sort of exercise. This could be anything from a full five day gym routine to simply going on walks every morning. This will keep you moderately in shape and your body will thank you for it.

Good health leads to good energy, so treat your body with respect and it will return the favor. Most of this is common sense.

How to increase your mental energy.

This one is a little more complicated.

1) Do things you enjoy as often as possible. I love writing so I try to fit writing into every day. It balances me out. After I write something that I am proud of I get an energy boost for the rest of the day, guaranteed.

I also like the gym, music, reading, walks, and looking at quotes. Whenever I feel drained I have a go-to list of things I can do to get a boost of energy.

2) Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you. When you have negative people in your life they can bring you down. When you have positive people in your life they can turn your whole day around with one comment.

Try to find people who encourage you and put more positive than negative into your relationship.

3) Avoid stress as much as possible. This one can be hard, but as long as you side step as much stress as you possibly can you will have more personal energy. Be aware and take note of anything or anyone that causes you stress. Try to reduce the role they play or amount of time you spend on these things.

A side note: Mental space.

This is a very similar topic and it relates very closely to the mental side of personal energy.

I believe that you can only be thinking/focusing on one thing at a time. I often have days where I think about one thing 70% of the time.

Usually this is not something that will improve my life or make me happy. Most of the time it is something I am stressing over, or something I am upset about such as a lousy person in my life. 

You have to be very careful what you allow to take up your mental space. If you let the wrong things take up too much space you will drain your energy faster than you would think possible.

Any time spent thinking about negative things is less time you could spend thinking about positive things.

Focus on improving your personal energy and things will fall into place.

This is one of my main philosophies. I hope it helps you to accomplish your goals and put more quality into every aspect of your life. I also hope it helps to make you a more generally happier person.

After writing this I have so much energy. With this wind pushing my sails I think my day will be a good one.

Let’s meet up one day and you can tell me what gives you energy.
After all, spending time with good people always gives me a boost.