The Girl Across The Street

Yesterday, I hung out with an old friend. I haven’t seen her since February and it was a delight. Truthfully speaking, I had a huge crush on her.

We went on a few dates and things just fizzled out. Initially, I was devastated. Before seeing her, I had a fear that those feelings might resurface. I might be stuck in an emotional rut as soon as I saw her.

I think I’m growing up. I saw her and everything went well. Those feelings that I was afraid off – they resurfaced – I dealt with them.

Let Me Backtrack

I had a crush on her because she was pretty much everything I wanted. She embodied the qualities I held most dear, we have amazing conversations, and she is beautiful.

I am the type of person that will always hold feelings, deep inside, for the people I like. The feelings just hide away. When I saw her yesterday, those feelings came out guns-blazing, but they were manageable.

Girls have always occupied a huge portion of my mental and physical energy. I’ve never really had great luck in the whole relationship category. It has always been hard for me to let go of past relationships.

Call it love?

I don’t know what it was. I don’t really understand what love is. Have I felt it? Maybe once? Maybe I’m just convincing myself of love. Or maybe, just maybe, I did feel it?

The Girl Across the Street

I fell hard and fast. It hit me like a brick wall hit Will E. Coyote. From the moment I saw her I was captivated. She also embodied everything I ever wanted.

wile-e-coyote-hits-rock-bottom

We got our feelings out. For a while I thought it was ACTUALLY going to work. Long story, short, it didn’t.

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I was an emotional rollercoaster for about 3 hours. I decided that it couldn’t affect me. There are too many priorities.

There are too many important things to worry about.

A Limited Amount of Energy

Do you spend it worrying about girls? Bills? Gossip? Work drama? I spent it on a whole lot of nonsense. I squandered it away, day-by-day, wallowing in my own self-pity.

That was a huge waste of mental energy. If I knew what I know now, back when I was 16, my life would have been different. Then again, I am a stronger person because of my 16-year-old experiences.

It makes me feel like the perfect girl is somewhere out there. But also, it makes me feel like there isn’t just one. In fact, I know that there are at least two that are out there right now. I know because I met them already.

I feel a sense of ease with that thought. Sure, it didn’t work out. But it allows me to continue on with my life, knowing that somewhere out there, there are multiple perfect girls for me.

I know that I do not have to spend the mental energy wallowing when something does not work out. I know that I will be okay.

What do you choose to spend the energy on? You have a finite amount of energy every single day. I urge you to stop squandering it, like I have, and start improving your life.

Move forward for the all petty things taking over your life and spend that valuable energy on yourself. Use it to constantly and never-endingly improve.

For the first time, I experienced ‘love at first sight.’ Was it meant to be? I guess not. But it’s nice to know that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Keep Pushing On

Hola, cóma estás hermoso, or is it hermana? I hope I’m right. One of those mean sister and the other means beautiful. I get the two confused. I mean to say beautiful.

This post is late. Well, I mean clearly, you’ve already figured it out. I’ve been busy. Ugh, I hate making excuses. It is my own fault. I have been slacking, mistreating my body and this was the result.

I’ve been doing too many things. One of which, is trying to learn a new language, as you saw above. I’ve tried multiple times and failed, as you MAY have seen above.

I was forced to take French all through elementary school. Want to know the only thing I remember?

“Il fait du soleil” 

It’s sunny outside. I find it perplexing that that is the only thing I got out of six years of French. It hasn’t provided me with any assistance through my life. Well, maybe if a person would ask me the weather AND needed to know it in French AND it was actually sunny outside (I am a terrible liar. I blink too much).

Then I tried to learn Mandarin. In my opinion, it is THE hardest to learn, second only to English. I figured if I am going to learn any language, why not pick the hardest one. I skipped everything else and went to the top shelf. Mandarin is hard because it’s all tonal and depending on what part of the word you emphasize, determines its meaning. It was challenging to say the least.

I sat there for countless hours in front of Rosetta Stone trying to figure out the word and picture combination. I suck. I quit. I got down on myself.Do not give up

I tried other languages and programs and failed miserably. I thought maybe learning a second language wasn’t in the stars for me. Am I destined to speak only one?

Recently, I discovered I had a neighbor. Well, I mean, everyone has neighbors. Let me rephrase. Recently, I discovered I have an attractive neighbor. I had no idea she ever existed. I met her once, but I don’t remember. Maybe I was too intimidated when I first met her and my brain decided to hermit away.

“Where are you going with this Leroy?”

Don’t worry. I’m getting to the point, albeit slowly.

She has a good heart. She’s cool and she makes me laugh (and not that type of lame chuckle, but a hardy stomach laugh). And she’s really nice on the eyes (by that I mean, like very very attractive). Also, she’s Uruguayan.

See, I am slowly getting to the point. She’s teaching me Spanish. It’s difficult but not to the point where I am willing to quit. She says I’m good at rolling my “Rs.” Literally EVERY ‘r’ is rolled in Spanish. My name in Spanish is really Lerrrrrrrrroy.

-Pause for laughter-

Anyways, point being, persistence is key. Everything takes time and perseverance. I’ve always been told that good things come to those who wait. That is a lesson in patience but can also be used as a rationale for learning.

persevere

Don’t Be Afraid of Failure 

When you try to learn something new, it can be daunting. New things are hard. I used to be a terrible failer. I used to fail and give up. Feel depressed about it and move on.

When I first started to learn golf, I could not hit the ball off the tee. I struggled, I swung, I whipped and got frustrated. Then after a lot of badgering I went golfing again. I hit it. It was a great feeling.

Success is a rush. It sent a shock of endorphins through my body. I love golf now. I’m not winning the PGA anytime soon, but that’s okay. I still enjoy it. Don’t you want to experience that same rush?

Persevere, Persevere, Persevere  

You need to continue. Fail, it’s good for your soul. You need it. Don’t get down on yourself. Everything can be learned and perfected. It’s one of the reasons that we are out of the food chain.

Through perseverance we have literally escaped the food chain. If humans gave up so easily, it would be a completely different story. There aren’t cheetahs waiting for us at the train station.

We have an amazing ability to learn anything we put our mind towards. But often we give up after the first failed attempt. I am guilty of this.

You need to wait and listen and learn. You can’t get down on yourself. Some things have a steeper learning curve, some not so much, and some things just come naturally. Don’t be afraid. Embrace it.

I feel like this time will be different. I will learn Spanish, partly because a piece inside me screams ‘NEED’ and partly because my neighbor is captivating.