The Girl Across The Street

Yesterday, I hung out with an old friend. I haven’t seen her since February and it was a delight. Truthfully speaking, I had a huge crush on her.

We went on a few dates and things just fizzled out. Initially, I was devastated. Before seeing her, I had a fear that those feelings might resurface. I might be stuck in an emotional rut as soon as I saw her.

I think I’m growing up. I saw her and everything went well. Those feelings that I was afraid off – they resurfaced – I dealt with them.

Let Me Backtrack

I had a crush on her because she was pretty much everything I wanted. She embodied the qualities I held most dear, we have amazing conversations, and she is beautiful.

I am the type of person that will always hold feelings, deep inside, for the people I like. The feelings just hide away. When I saw her yesterday, those feelings came out guns-blazing, but they were manageable.

Girls have always occupied a huge portion of my mental and physical energy. I’ve never really had great luck in the whole relationship category. It has always been hard for me to let go of past relationships.

Call it love?

I don’t know what it was. I don’t really understand what love is. Have I felt it? Maybe once? Maybe I’m just convincing myself of love. Or maybe, just maybe, I did feel it?

The Girl Across the Street

I fell hard and fast. It hit me like a brick wall hit Will E. Coyote. From the moment I saw her I was captivated. She also embodied everything I ever wanted.

wile-e-coyote-hits-rock-bottom

We got our feelings out. For a while I thought it was ACTUALLY going to work. Long story, short, it didn’t.

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I was an emotional rollercoaster for about 3 hours. I decided that it couldn’t affect me. There are too many priorities.

There are too many important things to worry about.

A Limited Amount of Energy

Do you spend it worrying about girls? Bills? Gossip? Work drama? I spent it on a whole lot of nonsense. I squandered it away, day-by-day, wallowing in my own self-pity.

That was a huge waste of mental energy. If I knew what I know now, back when I was 16, my life would have been different. Then again, I am a stronger person because of my 16-year-old experiences.

It makes me feel like the perfect girl is somewhere out there. But also, it makes me feel like there isn’t just one. In fact, I know that there are at least two that are out there right now. I know because I met them already.

I feel a sense of ease with that thought. Sure, it didn’t work out. But it allows me to continue on with my life, knowing that somewhere out there, there are multiple perfect girls for me.

I know that I do not have to spend the mental energy wallowing when something does not work out. I know that I will be okay.

What do you choose to spend the energy on? You have a finite amount of energy every single day. I urge you to stop squandering it, like I have, and start improving your life.

Move forward for the all petty things taking over your life and spend that valuable energy on yourself. Use it to constantly and never-endingly improve.

For the first time, I experienced ‘love at first sight.’ Was it meant to be? I guess not. But it’s nice to know that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Expand Your Toolbox Today

Recently, my manager asked if I wanted additional training in any other areas. Initially, I was reluctant. I don’t want to stay at my current job because, well, it’s only a job. I have bigger hopes and aspirations.

But, I decided to say yes. Why? Well, because ANY skill you acquire will double your chances for success.

But Leroy, “not all skills are equal and not all skills are important. Hence, they can’t double your chances of success.”

Yes, you’re right. I whole-heartedly agree with you. Obviously, some skills are more important than others, and the tenth skill you acquire might have less value than each of the other nine.

But when you approach learning a new skill with the mindset that it will double your odds of success, you instantly trick your brain into being more proactive in your pursuit of learning.

If I told you that taking a website coding class, will double your chances of success, the chances of you acting increases. If instead I only offered a vague opinion that acquiring new skills is beneficial, you might not feel particularly motivated.

A) Where Do I Start?

Method 1: Be a kid again

It’s difficult to figure out where to start. For me, I like to remember all my passions before I reached ten-years-old. Before ten, my brain was still malleable enough to absorb everything, but not yet tainted by formal education.

When you were a kid, the things you enjoyed were almost instinctual, rather than influenced. You understood that you liked something for the mere fact that it brought enjoyment to you.

Start there. Remember all the things you enjoyed and pursue similar skills. As you start learning those, diversify. Jump into random categories that interest you.

Method 2: Consume News

If you have trouble finding something to read, start with the topics that interest you, even if they may be something trivial like gossip and celebrity scandals. Over time, you will enjoy the experience of reading and start sampling topics that wouldn’t have interested you before.

Personally, I read news from business, health, science, technology, and politics. Continue to expose yourself to new topics, primarily the ones that interest you the most.

But be weary, consuming some news can be a huge downer if you pick the wrong topics. Try to avoid stories about tragic events and negativity and focus on the positive aspects of science, technology and business.

B) It Gets Easier

When you first try to learn a skill it can be daunting. You can’t see yourself learning something that, at the time, seems impossible. But once you understand a few core concepts it gets easier.

female teen hand drawing a graph

A huge advantage of learning as much as you can in different fields is that the more concepts you understand, the easier it becomes to learn new ones. The learning process snowballs into other fields, consistently teaching you new skills.

Imagine explaining to an alien the concept of a zebra. The learning curve would be steep. If the next thing you tried to explain were the concept of a horse, the conversation would be much shorter. You simply have to say that the horse is a lot like the zebra, without the black and white stripes.

The process of learning continues to simplify itself, as you progressively absorb more knowledge of varying skills.

C) How Do I Be Perfect at EVERYTHING?

The short answer to that question is, “You don’t.”

You do not need to seek mastery or perfection in any skill. The idea is that you can increase your market value just by being good –not perfect– at more than one skill.

In terms of success, you are better off being good at two complementary skills rather than being extraordinary at one. In some cases, being extraordinary at one skill will pay off, but for the majority of us regular people (ME), diversifying your toolbox will lead to success.

Toolbox_by_maxon

Do not pursue perfection, but pursue learning. Aim to learn as many skills as possible. They will eventually help you out in one situation or another. The more you learn, the better you become.

Diversify your toolbox today by learning something, anything. Learn to whistle with two fingers, sewing basics, draw a cat, or tinker with a basic sound system. I promise you, once you learn something, you will be closer to success.

Be bold, be free, and love on.