The Power of a Compliment

“ ___________, you look beautiful today.” Earlier this week, I said that to a co-worker. I really thought nothing of it. I thought she looked really pretty that day and decided to tell her.

At that time, it was just a thought I had. I found out yesterday, that those words made her feel amazing.

-Inner Conversation- Well Of course, Leroy! You can call anyone beautiful and they’ll absolutely melt (as long as you’re being sincere). –Inner Conversation-

I had no idea at that time, but those few simple words lit up her day, she said. She was having a terrible struggle inside (none of which I knew about) and something as simple as you look nice today had a profound effect on her.

There is so much power in words. I feel like most people do not realize its impact. Personally, until this moment, I never really (I MEAN, REALLY) thought about the impact of words.

The impact it can have on people. The impact it can have on emotions and feelings. The impact it can have on people’s thoughts. It is incredibly powerful.

Nice things are simply not said enough. 

Compliments are usually kept to themselves. The majority of the time people only think about a compliment. It is a rare occasion when it’s actually spoken. Why though?

Maybe people think it may be misconstrued? Maybe they’re just shy? Or maybe people are afraid of being accused for hitting on someone. These all seem like terrible excuses.

For me, I realized that nice things are simply not said enough. Instead, we dish out criticisms and “constructive criticism.” There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but why not say something positive in lieu?

It is an upsetting realization, but negative things are said more than positive things. We spend our time gossiping, putting people down and hurting people, lying to people, instead of complimenting them.

Where has all the love gone? Or maybe it was just never there? Regardless, we need to bring it back to life.

Everyone has their own struggles.

I express my thoughts through this blog. Prior to this venue, they were held within my head, festering and compiling upon itself and eating away at me. This is my venue to vent, express, and deal with my many thoughts.

But for the people who can’t vent, their struggles are inside their own head. Everyone has their own struggles, their own problems, and their own negative emotions to deal with.

A simple kind word has a profound effect on people. It alleviates their problems (even if it is for a brief moment), boosts good mood, and dishes out a dose of positivity in, what may be, their negative life.

I learned this valuable lesson this week. From this day forth, I will focus on casting away negative words. I will pay close attention to my own gossip, criticism, and negative words.

I will intervene when someone tries to put people down and hurt people. I am going to start the activity of complimenting (at least) one person each day. Slowly that number will rise. Whether it can be misconstrued as flirting or not, I will do it for the simple opportunity of making someone feel happy.

I implore you today and everyday, to do the same. I am only one man. I can only reach so many people. There is great power in simple compliments. Instead of even risking the chance of hurting someone, help someone with your words.

“Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well” – Robin Sharma

At the end of the day, words are free. They are able to love, accomplish, and create everything. Be the change, be the positive in someone’s life today.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The Truth About Lying.

It seems as if we live in a world of lies. Nearly every adult will tell you that lying is wrong. But when it comes to avoiding trouble, saving face in front of the boss, or sparing someone’s feelings, many people find themselves doing it anyway. Sometimes, I lie because I just feel the need too.

It can be something stupid like my height. But still, I don’t quite understand why? I have nothing to gain from it and I am sure people catch me knee deep in it.

Eventually, you are forced to lie because you previously lied and it continues to grow. No matter how small the lie is, it always chips away at relationships.

I’ve referred to my past relationships a lot, but it is all too clear the life I’ve led. The most significant relationship I’ve ever had was riddled with lies. There was not a shred of truth in her and I was too oblivious to see it.

Or maybe, I just did not want to see it. Regardless, it crippled me inside.

I’ve complied the three types of lies in this world and why it is necessary to stop.

A) White Lies

I suppose to most of you, these are considered the least harmful of all lies, hence the ‘White.’ But I do not believe that at all. White lies destroys relationships. It usually starts with a simple lie.

“That fish was 10 feet long. No, those tight pants fit you great.”

When these white lies compound and are used excessively, it can make your interactions less authentic. At its worst, people will get the notion that you are not being genuine and, eventually, they will begin lose trust.

I have no verbal filter. Some people are afflicted with this occasionally. For me, it is literally all the time. I constantly have to censor myself around new people or risk losing relationships.

But I feel that being genuine is integral to building lasting relationships. White lies (lying to spare ones’ feelings or being brutally honest to hurt ones’ feelings) can be avoided but toning it down. Tell the truth but provide reasoning and positive feedback as well.

Some people will take offence, but it is always followed by acceptance and endearing responses.

B) Lying to Avoid Situations

We often find ourselves in less than desired situations. Situations like meetings, soirées, and general gatherings. What happens? We fib to get out of it.

“I can’t go out. My cat died. I have homework. A dingo ate my baby.”

Well, maybe, not so much the last lie. Instead, I propose saying “No.” Try it; exercise the power of “No.” Fine-tune the word “No” and use it in your everyday life.

You can use it with any and every situation you encounter and avoid the traps that will occur if you originally lied. Stop trying to justify the reason you give the recipient and end it with a simple “no.”

C) Lying To Yourself

Out of all three, I feel like this is the most common lie among us. We lie to ourselves constantly, everyday. This is the most destructive to us. Eventually, we start internalizing it, believing it and it becomes second nature.

“I do not have a drinking problem. I do not need therapy. I am not fat.”

Lies prevent you from realizing your faults and progressing. You internalize your problems as normal and forget that they are problems. With the exception of “I am not fat” these lies are all incredibly harmful.

Body image is incredibly skewed in society. As long as you are living a healthy lifestyle, words like “fat, skinny, large, toothpick” can be eliminated from your dictionary.

Whatever you want to accomplish, from sticking to a healthy lifestyle to conquering your drinking problem, lying about what is really going on puts you one step farther from that objective.

Instead, visualize, in full detail, what it would feel, sound, and smell like to attain your goal. Construct a picture in your head, already attaining that goal.

Lying is incredibly damaging to your relationships. I suppose, I do not have to stress that. Anyone that has lived has lied and hurt people. But this is not the life I want to lead.

I want to be known as genuine and trustworthy and it all starts with the truth.