3 Lessons From Our Mothers

If you had to clean up someones poop, puke, and pee, or had to listen to them cry and scream at all hours of day and night, you probably wouldn’t stand this person for very long.

Well, your mother went through that and a whole lot more for a very long time to make sure that you survived and became the slightly less poop and pee covered person that you are today.

Our mothers not only took care of us when we were disgusting and unruly, they also taught us a lot of the most important lessons we’ve ever learned.

We will never be able to repay our mothers, but at the very least we can say thank you every once and a while.

So this is an ode to the lessons our mothers have taught us, and a thank you note to all the amazing mothers out there.

We are born of love; love is our mother.
-Rumi

Sharing Is Caring

I grew up in a male dominated house. Needless to say, the boys of the house wanted to solve every conflict aggressively and had a hard time sharing anything. Whether it was time on the computer, toys, or treats, we wanted everything to ourselves.

But mothers will always step in and set it straight. She showed us the value of sharing our things, and thus our happiness, with others.

She also taught us this lesson through her everyday life. I frequently saw my mother pay for strangers, offer to pay for everyone in our group, and give presents at every opportunity.

She taught us that money comes and goes, but the impact that a small gesture can have on someone will last forever.

Give Everyone A Fair Shake

No matter who you were, if you came into contact with my mother she would give you the benefit of the doubt.

If everyone in the world was like this there would be no more sexism, racism, or any other of the prejudice diseases that plague humanity. When you treat each person as an individual and assume only the best of them—until they prove otherwise—you make the world a fairer place.

The media will try to convince you of a whole myriad of ignorant stereotypes, but the lessons from our mothers will always outweigh them and for that I am grateful.

Because of our mothers we know that each person is unique and deserves a fair chance.

Don’t Let The Opinions Of Others Affect You

My mother is a bus driver. She has told me many horror stories and she has been called every name in the book.

She’s been put down or attacked so many times that you’d lose count, but she never let the opinions of others affect her opinion of herself.

Sometimes it would get to her, but seeing the strength and determination that she mustered up during those moments was inspiring.

I learned that other people can only affect you as much as you let them affect you and this is one of the most important lessons a person can learn.

When I think of the mothers of the world I think about determination, unconditional love, overcoming obstacles, and doing things you never thought you’d do because you love that little life more than anything in the whole world.

Raising you was the hardest thing someone ever had to do in their entire life. So today, take the time to thank them. This is for all the mothers out there.

I love you mum. Thank for putting up with all the poop, the pee, the aggression, the rebellion, the shortcomings and the times I didn’t appreciate you like I should have.

I’ve finally learned my lessons.

What are some of the lessons that your mother taught you? Leave them in the comments!

How To Deal With Regret

Sometimes I ask myself – “do you feel like you should be different? Or act differently? Or feel differently?”

I don’t know if everyone asks himself or herself the same questions. Maybe you can quell my thoughts in the comments section below.

Recently, I’ve come to a realization. Everything that I have been through – the ups, the downs, the struggles and turmoil and everything in between – have made me the person I am today.

Regret is insignificant. No matter how hard we try, at this very moment, nothing about the past can be undone.

Regret is backward thinking

When you look to the past for answers, you are fighting an uphill battle. You desperately struggle as you battle the ravaging tides and the harsh winds.

Eckhart Tolle believes your egoic won’t let the past go because it needs it to feel alive. Your egoic mind wants to feel significant so it latches onto the past.

It keeps you living and thinking backward. It holds you in a troubled state. Your relationships, your work, and worst of all, yourself, crumble as you’re suspended in ‘regret thought-processes.’

The more you dwell in the past, the stronger your egoic mind grows. Like a feral animal, the more meat you give, the more it wants.

Present is forward-thinking

This very moment is all we have left. This very moment is the only one that can be changed, cherished and adored.

Even as write this, moments pass. The less I regret, the less I dwell, the more seamlessly the present moment passes.

There is little time to regret. In this very moment, there is only time to be content.

Be grateful that you are alive and breathing. Be content with the ability to think clearly and feel wholly.

Any room for future thinking?

Future thinking will also ruin you. Future thinking is just as toxic as regret.

Currently the future does not matter. Even as you begin to say the word fu-ture that first syllable is forever lost in the past.

That syllable should be let go, just as the future should.

The Love Exercise

There is no room for regret in this moment. Instead, spend a little time just being. Spend some time appreciating the person you are – maybe it’s your hair, eyes, or your brain.

Or pat yourself on the back for a small win – maybe it’s your first day sticking to a new diet or maybe you made it an entire day without having a cigarette.

This is an exercise I frequently do to avoid regret. The idea occurred to me after reading Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant.

He was at the point of killing himself because of all the common pressures that plague us – lack of love, security, support and freedom – until one day he decided to look into the mirror and say “I love you” over and over again.

He cured himself through positive reinforcement. I find that the same works with regret. Spend time today, and every single day, to giving yourself trying the Love Exercise.

Soon you will regret less and your egoic mind will detach. You will begin to love the person you are. You will begin to appreciate the present moment.

I wish nothing but amazing vibes to all our readers. I know whatever plagues you – whether regret, pain, or the future – you will overcome it.

And if you need a little push along the way, 2HelpfulGuys is here for anything.

Until next time my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

1 Timeless Way To Improve All Your Relationships

Most people will give you the same answer to the following question:

“Do you treasure your relationships?”

I asked myself that question yesterday and the answer was an obvious ‘yes!’ It is just a common trait that we share as social beings.

But then I asked myself a follow-up question. And most people, myself included, cannot answer with the same authenticity and assertion.

“How do you treasure your relationships?”

This question is a lot harder to answer. I found myself stuck, racking my brain for answers.

When was the last time I told someone I treasured them? When was the last time I paid a loved one a simple heartfelt compliment? Unfortunately, I have failed at this task.

While most people do treasure their relationships, they often forget to show it. Here’s how to remedy this major problem.

1. Friendships

My friends mean the world to me. I would do anything that is in my power to help them. Even if it were out of my power, I’d still attempt to move the world.

Most people would identify with the similar sentiment.

But it has been too long since I’ve said or did something that conveys my feelings. Today, I picked up the phone and told two of my friends that I love them. I told two of them, that I’m there for them no matter what.

I told two of them that they can vent and I’ll listen, they can cry and I’ll have a free shoulder, and they can feel lonely and I’ll always be behind them like their shadows.

Today, meet-up, call, text, email, Facebook, MySpace, or any other cryptic interaction you use and tell your friends that you treasure them.

2. Your Significant Other

I started seeing an amazing girl over the last month and half.

I treasure her. Every single moment that I share with her is never a waste. Every single moment has a burst of bliss, energy and affection. When I’m around her, I feel like that cartoon wolf with the bulging eyes and heart.

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When was the last time you expressed how you felt to your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse? When was the last time you told them that you felt like the cartoon wolf when you cast your eyes on them?

Tell them and show them through your eyes and ears. They don’t want your money or fancy gifts. They just want you, through and through, fully.

Today, stare into their eyes and say something meaningful and heartfelt.

3. Family

Their love and affection is almost expected and that’s a terrible way to live because we take them for granted. I am guilty of this and extremely embarrassed.

I’ll be moving out of the nest and spreading my wings next Friday and as that day nears, I find myself getting bluer.

That expected love and affection from my family will not be an everyday occurrence and it seems that I have not treasured them as much as I should of.

I’ll miss just simply talking to them about nothing, resting my head on their shoulders, or receiving a warm hug.

Today, rest your head on your families shoulder, hug them, and tell them that you appreciate and love them for everything.

4. Strangers

The sad fact is that not everyone has friends, significant others, or families to treasure. If you lack one, depend on the other two. And if you lack the above three, you can treasure this category of people.

When you interact with a stranger for a brief moment – a cashier, a banker, a co-worker or even a telemarketer can quickly become someone to treasure. As awkward as it may feel in the moment, tell the stranger that you appreciate them.

Watch how they react to your heartfelt words. They will blossom and unfold in front of your eyes. They will begin to glow and radiate warmth towards you.

Telling or showing your loved ones that you care and treasure them will change and improve all your relationships. It produces profound affects on anyone you interact with.

Today, I hope you take a little bit of time out of your schedule and treasure your relationships. It is as simple as listening, asking, and cherishing, complimenting, being and loving.

As always, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The Power of Thoughts

“I, Leroy Milton, will be present, enthusiastic and inspiring.”

Is something I started saying twice a day, about six months ago, habitually. This is a reassurance of my character, to keep it in my conscious thoughts everyday.

It’s called an affirmation. It has helped me strive toward this challenge, constantly focusing on the now, being increasingly excited and bold.

What are Affirmations?

The Secret originally proposed this idea. Through your thoughts and conscious attention on those thoughts, the universe grants your imagined outcomes.

Apparently, people have won the lottery, married their dream spouse and lived in their dream houses through this mystical method. So I had to try it for myself.

They worked a few times, but sometimes they failed. I couldn’t understand why. How does the universe differentiate between my requests? Is it even the universe divinely granting something? Or, maybe God?

I am increasingly skeptical of this ‘ask and you shall receive’ mentality. It doesn’t seem logical that you can ask the universe or God of anything and it is magically arranged.

However, I still do it and it has worked.

Why the skepticism?

I don’t think it is some divine power that grants your request. I think you are in complete control of your thoughts and you determine the outcome.

My constant reminder to be present has brought me back when my thoughts stray into the past or the distant future. My constant reminder to be enthusiastic has pushed me to be my best, most excited self. My constant reminder to be inspiring has allowed me to approach every situation with an inspiring message.

I feel like through my thoughts, great and powerful outcomes can come to fruition.

However, I cannot discount peoples’ thoughts on spirituality and religion. Instead, I propose this view. When you pray or ask God or the universe, I feel like your ‘desire’ is not granted. Instead, opportunities for that desire are granted.

Situations arise that help you reach your goal. You may find yourself doing a free photography job, only to have your work discovered for a huge contract. Or, a girl may randomly approach you, and it’s up to you to make a connection. These situations challenge you to act a specific way, where your outcomes may be granted.

I was put into situations where I needed to stay present, where I needed to be enthusiastic, where I needed to be inspiring. Through these situations, I slowly added more power, more feeling and more positivity to myself.

There is a lot of power in personal thoughts. Had it not be for my positive affirmations, would I have confronted these situations the same way? The affirmation allowed me to approach each situation very uniquely.

Steven wrote an article on mastering your thoughts. You can take a look at it for tips. I implore everyone to use positive thoughts, focus your energy and through them, you will approach every situation differently and obtain something great along the way.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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3 WAYS TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE MORE

A lot of people feel alone. They feel like they don’t have a connection to those around them.

I know how that feels. When I was younger I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals, I didn’t get a whole lot of practice socializing with people my own age.

Spending most of my time with doctors, nurses and my mom made me feel alienated when it came time to engage with others at my school.

But there was an upside.

Doctors and nurses are some of the most caring people you will ever meet. They are intelligent, polite and empathetic. Every time I was in their care I felt appreciated and important. They were family to me.

I’ve wondered what made my connection with these people so deep and profound. I can still picture the faces and emotions associated with so many of the beautiful people I met at different hospitals.

Here are three conversational habits I internalized that helped me foster a deep connection with those around me.

Make eye contact and listen intently.

My doctor would walk into the room and greet my mother. He would then make his way over to me, bend down to my eye level, look me right in the eyes and give me a firm handshake.

The entire time we talked he would keep eye contact with me. I felt like he absorbed every single word I said. His focus never drifted from me, it made me feel like I mattered.

Too often we have conversations that we aren’t fully invested in. When someone is talking we take that as an opportunity to think about what we are going to say next instead of paying attention to what the other person is saying.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
-Stephen R. Covey

Worse yet, we might take the chance to check our phones, think about our day and zone out the other person completely.

Don’t waste the time talking to someone if you aren’t going to listen as well.

Cater the conversation to the other person.

The nurses and doctors would always ask about me.

“How are you feeling? How was your day? What are you thinking about?”

We all know that one person who will tell the same story to everyone they see in a given day and make every conversation about themselves. Maybe they bought a new phone and now they’ll show it to everyone. Maybe they didn’t get a lot of sleep and now that will be their topic of the day.

They somehow seem to direct every conversation to themselves.

Guess what. Not only is this terribly self important, but it’s also boring. Do you really want to have the same conversation about your new phone ten times in one day?

When you start wondering how other people are and what is going through their mind, you get a lot more out of your conversations. More variety, more connection, more perspectives.

If you have something nice to say, say it!

My mom would always tell me “Steven, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

That is fine and dandy, I can agree with that.

But that isn’t my main concern. In this day and age compliments are rare. I hear friends tell me “Wow, that girl has nice eyes.” but they never actually tell the girl.

What if that compliment would have made her day?

She might be having a horrible morning. She might be feeling down in the dumps after a bad break up. One compliment can change a persons entire mood.

I live my life by the motto “If you have something nice to say, say it!” I want to point out every single piece of good that I see in the people around me.

When you give someone a compliment they like you more, and their connection with you deepens. A compliment may not change their life, but it might change their life for that moment. Isn’t that good enough?

So, I hope that these tips will help you foster a deeper connection with everyone around you. It is one of the most noble goals you can pursue.

I’ll never get to thank the people I met that have made such a deep impact on me, but I hope to leave the same impact on those around me.

As always, I’ll see you next Friday.

With love,
Steven Farquharson, 2HelpfulGuys