Replace your have with a want.

I have to write this article.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing, but I have deadlines and sometimes I’m caught in a rush.

I completely forgot that I had to write an article for Friday instead of Sunday from now on.

So I add it to my ‘have to do’ list.

But that list can be scary.

I have to do my Spanish lesson, I have to meditate, I have to come up with my ten ideas today, I have to write a 2HelpfulGuys video, I have to go to the gym, I have to, I have to, I have to…

When I get into this mode of thinking it’s no wonder I become stressed.

I enjoy doing all of these things. They are the kind of activities I want to be doing for the rest of my life.

So why do I feel this immense pressure when I think about them?

Change your language to change your life.

A while ago a wrote an article about replacing the word should with the word could. That way you see things more as opportunities instead of obligations.

Since then I’ve been contemplating the language I use in my self talk. What am I saying to myself and how is it affecting the way I perceive my daily life?

I realized that this whole time I have been saying “I have to” and it has been giving all of my actions an overtone of pressure and responsibility.

Where did all the fun go!?

I worry that one day I’ll accomplish everything I want but I will be wandering around the streets grabbing people and yelling “where did all the fun go!? Do you ever have fun? Why do I hate my life!?”

That probably won’t happen, but I still can’t help feeling the pressure of a long “Have to do” list.

Replace your “Have to” with a “Want to.”

If these are all things that I enjoy doing, then why do I think about them using the same words as when I have to go to work? Or when I have to clean the toilets in my house?

Toilets are disgusting, but I love meditation.

From now on I am going to put in big bold letters at the top of my to-do list “Today I want to…”

That way, I’ll always subconsciously know that these things are my passions. They are what keeps me balanced. They are what brings joy and progression into my life.

I don’t have to do these things.
I want to.

This is my plea to you.

Watch your words, they dictate how you perceive your world.

Don’t say you have to play with your kids. Say you want to.

Don’t say you have to take your mother out for coffee, say you want to.

When you want to do something it feels like a choice, and one that you enjoy. When you have to do something it makes you feel as if you are at the whim of outside forces.

Sometimes you do ‘have’ to do things.

That’s fine. We all need to do things we don’t enjoy.

But save that language for your chores, not for the things that move you forward in life.

And not for the things that make life worth living.

I had to wanted to write this article today.

And I enjoyed every minute of it.

As always, I’ll see you next Sunday Friday.

Keep Pushing On

Hola, cóma estás hermoso, or is it hermana? I hope I’m right. One of those mean sister and the other means beautiful. I get the two confused. I mean to say beautiful.

This post is late. Well, I mean clearly, you’ve already figured it out. I’ve been busy. Ugh, I hate making excuses. It is my own fault. I have been slacking, mistreating my body and this was the result.

I’ve been doing too many things. One of which, is trying to learn a new language, as you saw above. I’ve tried multiple times and failed, as you MAY have seen above.

I was forced to take French all through elementary school. Want to know the only thing I remember?

“Il fait du soleil” 

It’s sunny outside. I find it perplexing that that is the only thing I got out of six years of French. It hasn’t provided me with any assistance through my life. Well, maybe if a person would ask me the weather AND needed to know it in French AND it was actually sunny outside (I am a terrible liar. I blink too much).

Then I tried to learn Mandarin. In my opinion, it is THE hardest to learn, second only to English. I figured if I am going to learn any language, why not pick the hardest one. I skipped everything else and went to the top shelf. Mandarin is hard because it’s all tonal and depending on what part of the word you emphasize, determines its meaning. It was challenging to say the least.

I sat there for countless hours in front of Rosetta Stone trying to figure out the word and picture combination. I suck. I quit. I got down on myself.Do not give up

I tried other languages and programs and failed miserably. I thought maybe learning a second language wasn’t in the stars for me. Am I destined to speak only one?

Recently, I discovered I had a neighbor. Well, I mean, everyone has neighbors. Let me rephrase. Recently, I discovered I have an attractive neighbor. I had no idea she ever existed. I met her once, but I don’t remember. Maybe I was too intimidated when I first met her and my brain decided to hermit away.

“Where are you going with this Leroy?”

Don’t worry. I’m getting to the point, albeit slowly.

She has a good heart. She’s cool and she makes me laugh (and not that type of lame chuckle, but a hardy stomach laugh). And she’s really nice on the eyes (by that I mean, like very very attractive). Also, she’s Uruguayan.

See, I am slowly getting to the point. She’s teaching me Spanish. It’s difficult but not to the point where I am willing to quit. She says I’m good at rolling my “Rs.” Literally EVERY ‘r’ is rolled in Spanish. My name in Spanish is really Lerrrrrrrrroy.

-Pause for laughter-

Anyways, point being, persistence is key. Everything takes time and perseverance. I’ve always been told that good things come to those who wait. That is a lesson in patience but can also be used as a rationale for learning.

persevere

Don’t Be Afraid of Failure 

When you try to learn something new, it can be daunting. New things are hard. I used to be a terrible failer. I used to fail and give up. Feel depressed about it and move on.

When I first started to learn golf, I could not hit the ball off the tee. I struggled, I swung, I whipped and got frustrated. Then after a lot of badgering I went golfing again. I hit it. It was a great feeling.

Success is a rush. It sent a shock of endorphins through my body. I love golf now. I’m not winning the PGA anytime soon, but that’s okay. I still enjoy it. Don’t you want to experience that same rush?

Persevere, Persevere, Persevere  

You need to continue. Fail, it’s good for your soul. You need it. Don’t get down on yourself. Everything can be learned and perfected. It’s one of the reasons that we are out of the food chain.

Through perseverance we have literally escaped the food chain. If humans gave up so easily, it would be a completely different story. There aren’t cheetahs waiting for us at the train station.

We have an amazing ability to learn anything we put our mind towards. But often we give up after the first failed attempt. I am guilty of this.

You need to wait and listen and learn. You can’t get down on yourself. Some things have a steeper learning curve, some not so much, and some things just come naturally. Don’t be afraid. Embrace it.

I feel like this time will be different. I will learn Spanish, partly because a piece inside me screams ‘NEED’ and partly because my neighbor is captivating.