Sipping on Hater-ade

I’ve decided that I want a beard for September (school time). Naturally, I have to start growing it now. My facial hair grows tremendously slow. I’ve been growing it since March and I think it looks great.

i-hate-you-made-by-swiix_00443412Why am I bringing this up? Well recently, someone made a comment that made me think. “That’s a disgusting beard. You look like Bin Laden.” It someone discouraged me but, regardless, I am keeping the beard.

No matter what you do in life, whether it has to do with work, school, or even your hobbies, you are going to run into haters. You are going to run into people that are going to put you down and try to hold you back from reaching your true potential.

They won’t understand what you’re doing or why you’re doing it and will attack you for it. They will make you feel like shit to the point that you start doubting yourself.

For a brief moment in time, I was actually contemplating shaving my beard. I stared in the mirror and thought about it. But why would I set myself back based on one persons’ comment.

You have to realize that nobody can make you feel terrible without your consent. You are in control of how you feel. Do not let these people hinder your progress.

You life is too important and valuable to let the naysayers get to you.

Haters Will Always Be There 

As long as you keep changing and improving your life there will be haters that will somehow try to hold you down. They want to keep you down at their level. They can’t bear to see you succeed or progress.

There really is nothing you can say or do to stop them from hating. Arguing with haters is like arguing with a brick wall. You will get nowhere. You cannot change another persons’ opinion unless they want to change first.

You just have to ignore them and move on. Nod and smile at them. In your head, acknowledge their comment and throw it away. Hold no bearing to it.

Of course it is always important to be open-minded and try to see things from a different perspective, if it is constructive criticism. But if it is just blatant malicious attacks, spare no mental energy on it.

The Argument

You have the power to determine how you feel every second of every day. Everyone gets haters, but the difference between winning and losing in this situation, is how you decide to handle it.

Arguing with a hater is giving the person too much credit. You are trying to validate or justify your standpoint. You do not need to justify your viewpoint with a hater.

You can’t have a logical debate with them because their hate is coming from an insecure, illogical place. And if you try to attack them back, it turns into a bigger argument that solves nothing, and in the end you still feel crappy.

In the end, what it comes to down to is this. There will be a lot of positive supportive people in your life. There will also be haters in your life. That is the sad truth and the harsh reality.

howtosellb2blovehate

Do not let these negative people consume you. Don’t let other peoples’ words and actions determine whom you are and what you’re going to do. Live for yourself. What people think about you is their reality, not yours.

I will continue to grow this beard until I have determined when I am done with it (if ever). How do you deal with the haters in your life? Leave a comment below, my readers and I would love to hear from you.

Be bold, be free and love on.

The Judge and Jury

I find that I am constantly at arms with myself. I argue and bicker with myself. I reminisce terrible memories. I think about my future and past. I explore all the possible outcomes, good and bad.

I have talked about the two voices in your body before. The brain and heart voice control everything in your body. These two forces centrally control your thoughts and emotions and your actions and reactions.

The brain voice takes over. The brain voice is the judge and the jury. In the grand scheme of everything, your biggest critic is yourself. The rest of the world continues to live their lives, while you wallow in self-turmoil.

You stop yourself from attaining, achieving and progressing. I don’t want to point fingers directly at you. I am equally guilty of this.

Making the List

Setting goals are important. It gives you something to strive towards. It produces an image of an endgame or a stepping-stone towards a possible endgame.

Often, we are afraid of our goals. We set them and see them as daunting. They are daunting. They are scary. But they’re supposed to be scary. The fear is good for your body. Your body (heart voice) is telling you that this NEEDS to be done.

I hate to say it: No one cares about you

Facing the facts, people in general are self-absorbed. No one is looking and no one cares what you do. This goes for the majority of people, obviously. I would hope your friends and family would care if you suddenly started using heroine.

However, aside from your family and close friends, people do not care if you achieve your goals. You can either choose to achieve them or not. But in the end, the only person you are failing is yourself.

It sucks when someone else disappoints you. But that is short-lived. When you fail yourself that is something your brain voice takes control of and replays it endlessly. Do not allow your brain to have that control over you.

the_watcher_and_deadpool_by_skottieyoung-d330e5qNo one is watching

I am guilty of thinking that all eyes are on me. I feel the blank judgmental stares of everyone when I am doing something daunting. It is one of the reasons I feel so out of place talking to girls. I feel like everyone is watching me and waiting for me to screw up.

The same feelings resurfaced when I first started working out. I felt people stare and whisper under their breath, “Who is this fat kid? What is he trying to do? He looks so stupid right now.”

 

But I realized quickly that no one is watching. The majority of people are self-absorbed and cannot see three meters ahead of themselves. Those judgmental stares were all manifested by my brain voice.

No one is watching me, as I stutter when I talk to girls. In fact if they are watching, they are probably wondering, how I managed to muster the testicular fortitude to approach someone.

You have to ignore all the voices and stares, believe in yourself and take a leap of faith. In the grand scheme of things, when you are lying on your deathbed, the last thing you will be thinking about is “I’m glad I played it safe and avoided judgment.”

The Power of Mistakes

Recently, I was terrified of losing my job. I did something bad and I had terrible thoughts racing through my head.

“How would I pay my bills? What am I going to do without money? How the hell am I supposed to survive? No one is hiring anymore.”

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Do I regret them? No. Definitely not. My mistakes have made me who I am. They have made me stronger, better, and faster. I am pretty much the three million dollar man, minus the three million dollars.

With every mistake that I make, I discover more about myself. About who I am, my limits, capabilities, and what I can and cannot do. They help me become a more compassionate and tolerant person, not only to others, but also with myself.

mistake_by_osx86-d33mlmv

Mistakes Are ALRIGHT.

You can learn valuable life lessons from every mistake. Do not let that mistake go in vain. Learn, progress and strive for something better.

I will never make the same mistake at work again. I cannot afford to. I do not want to relive that brief moment, where I had fears of losing my livelihood.

There is so much we can learn from our mistakes, and the moment we see them as lessons rather than mistakes, we will no longer possess this irrational fear of encountering them.

“To Err is Human” – Alexander Pope

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are. They are integral to building a better you.

Don’t Be Afraid of Mistakes

It is interesting that mistakes are something that everyone does, but most people are afraid of them. They are afraid of failing, screwing up or disappointing someone. Sometimes, I am afraid.

But, rise above it. You have to. No, you need to. If you play it safe, stay in your comfort zone, your life will be a full basket of regrets. You will have more regrets about the things you did not do rather than the things you did do, you will regret not making more mistakes.

When I started working out, I was timid. I was afraid of what people might think.

“Who is this fat kid? What is he trying to do? He looks so stupid right now.”

I could not get over the hump of the judgmental stares. I limited myself to certain activities to avoid ridicule. I was afraid of trying new things because people would laugh if I made mistakes.

In most cases, your mistakes only matter to you. In the brevity of human life, mistakes do not matter.

One thing I learned from working out is that people are generally self-absorbed and not looking (or even caring) about you. Those stares were all in my head. I was self-conscious and let the fear of making mistakes hinder my abilities.

Failure is Necessary

In order to succeed, you must fail. You must fail consistently, for a long period of time. Falling flat on your face is the best motivator.

Recently, a friend and I started a YouTube channel (2HelpfulGuys). Check it you when you have a chance.

He is a great actor. I am not amazing, myself. I make the same mistakes, over and over and over again.

I cannot seem to wrap my head around certain lines. The bloopers are almost endless, as I struggle to achieve a few good takes. But making the same mistakes repeatedly, I slowly learn.

Accept the mistakes and move on.

I gain and hone the abilities, one at a time. Eventually, I will be able to limit the bloopers. I will progress and achieve my goals.

But, it has to stem from my mistakes.

DOH