4 People We Must Avoid AT ALL COSTS.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

Well, I think it’s more like ten to fifteen. The ten to fifteen people we see the most have the greatest impact on us.

Surrounding ourselves with positive people changes our perceptions. As our social groups encourages, pushes and lifts us up, our own system does the same for them.

Conversely, toxic individuals are completely exhausting to be around. When we surround ourselves with negative people, it will take a toll on our mind and body.

Eventually it seeps in and consumes us. Slowly, we become complainers, judgers, gossipers, and victims.

The distractions and emotional baggage that toxic people bring into our lives are unnecessary obstacles that we must inevitably cross.

We all know a few toxic people – they might be our distant co-workers, family spouses, or our closest friends. Even a modicum of regular contact with these people influence our decisions and thought processes.

The sooner we remove them from our lives, the better. Here are four toxic individuals that we must avoid at all costs.

The Complainers

It seems that everyone has something to complain about. Even when life is completely amazing, these individuals find something to rant about – the weather, crime rates, global warming, etc.

Even for trivial issues, these individuals find something. It seems that they create problems when everything seems to be great, just to possess the right to complain.

As we consume others’ complaints, we forget how good our lives are and we begin to create problems out of thin air.

Avoid The Complainers at all costs.

The Judgers

Judgmental people will find a way to criticize anything and everything they come in contact with. They draw conclusions without understanding all the facts.

These individuals believe that they’re right in every situation. They feel like they have the right to impose their views on others.

No matter what we say to these individuals, nothing can be changed. Save your breath and your life.

Avoid The Judgers at all cost.

The Gossipers

People gossip because they feel insecure with themselves and their lives. They cannot separate fact from speculation and when facts twisted, wrong information is spread out, and peoples’ feelings get hurt.

Gossiping can quickly change a friendly environment into a hostile environment. As people begin to gossip to us, we should change the subject or ignore them completely.

We must ask ourselves, ‘do I want to partake in hurting someone’s feelings?’

The answer to that question should always be a resounding ‘no.’

Avoid The Gossipers at all cost.

The Victims

These individuals never take responsibility for their actions. They are constantly making excuses or blaming others for their mistakes and wrongdoings.

They feel like the world has a personal vendetta against them and choose to lie down and give up.

As these individuals experience further turmoil, it’s just more reason to play the damaged victim.

When you surround yourself with these people, you internalize a victim attitude. You begin to perceive the world as evil and never accept responsibility for your actions.

Avoid The Victims at all costs.

The Four

If any of these toxic individuals ring a bell, there is a high chance that you have one or more of these people in your life.

These four individuals consume our minds from the inside, out. As we constantly receive their messages, we start to identify with people.

When we turn into these people, we start to negatively impact those that close with us.

Pessimism breeds more pessimism.

However, the same can be said for optimism. As we surround ourselves with optimistic people, we, in turn, become optimistic. We spread our positive energy to those closest to us.

Pessimism and optimism are a choice. Which one do you choose to surround yourself with? Which one do you choose to spread to the rest of the world?

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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The Judge and Jury

I find that I am constantly at arms with myself. I argue and bicker with myself. I reminisce terrible memories. I think about my future and past. I explore all the possible outcomes, good and bad.

I have talked about the two voices in your body before. The brain and heart voice control everything in your body. These two forces centrally control your thoughts and emotions and your actions and reactions.

The brain voice takes over. The brain voice is the judge and the jury. In the grand scheme of everything, your biggest critic is yourself. The rest of the world continues to live their lives, while you wallow in self-turmoil.

You stop yourself from attaining, achieving and progressing. I don’t want to point fingers directly at you. I am equally guilty of this.

Making the List

Setting goals are important. It gives you something to strive towards. It produces an image of an endgame or a stepping-stone towards a possible endgame.

Often, we are afraid of our goals. We set them and see them as daunting. They are daunting. They are scary. But they’re supposed to be scary. The fear is good for your body. Your body (heart voice) is telling you that this NEEDS to be done.

I hate to say it: No one cares about you

Facing the facts, people in general are self-absorbed. No one is looking and no one cares what you do. This goes for the majority of people, obviously. I would hope your friends and family would care if you suddenly started using heroine.

However, aside from your family and close friends, people do not care if you achieve your goals. You can either choose to achieve them or not. But in the end, the only person you are failing is yourself.

It sucks when someone else disappoints you. But that is short-lived. When you fail yourself that is something your brain voice takes control of and replays it endlessly. Do not allow your brain to have that control over you.

the_watcher_and_deadpool_by_skottieyoung-d330e5qNo one is watching

I am guilty of thinking that all eyes are on me. I feel the blank judgmental stares of everyone when I am doing something daunting. It is one of the reasons I feel so out of place talking to girls. I feel like everyone is watching me and waiting for me to screw up.

The same feelings resurfaced when I first started working out. I felt people stare and whisper under their breath, “Who is this fat kid? What is he trying to do? He looks so stupid right now.”

 

But I realized quickly that no one is watching. The majority of people are self-absorbed and cannot see three meters ahead of themselves. Those judgmental stares were all manifested by my brain voice.

No one is watching me, as I stutter when I talk to girls. In fact if they are watching, they are probably wondering, how I managed to muster the testicular fortitude to approach someone.

You have to ignore all the voices and stares, believe in yourself and take a leap of faith. In the grand scheme of things, when you are lying on your deathbed, the last thing you will be thinking about is “I’m glad I played it safe and avoided judgment.”