3 Terrible Ways Self-Sabotage Ruins Our Success

When Steven and I first started 2HelpfulGuys, we didn’t have a vision. We didn’t even have an idea.

We knew we wanted to help people in some way. We wanted to impact peoples’ lives through our articles and cheesy videos.

We couldn’t start anything until we had a great name behind us. We sat there for hours trying to come up with one.

Steven and I stared at my laptop screen, then back at each other, then back at the laptop screen. We were shouting out random synonyms for the words like ‘happy’ and ‘life’ and ‘positive.’

Nothing really stuck, except us. We were stuck.

Be honest now, how often do you sabotage yourself?

For most people, it’s almost daily. We have dreams at night that make us ponder incredible possibilities for the future. But as the morning sun rises we let our dreams die in the daylight.

We wake up and carry on with our monotonous lives because of self-sabotage. We’re afraid of what might be. We’re afraid of our seemingly impossible challenges.

We stay in our secure little 9-5 bubbles, despite the endless unhappiness.

Self-sabotage ruins our dreams, and in turn, us.

When Steven and I ask people why they don’t pursue their dreams, we receive the same three excuses. It is the same excuses that we once had when we started 2HelpfulGuys.

1) I don’t know how?

No one begins an endeavour knowing exactly how to do it. Everything is one giant trial and error process.

We filmed out first YouTube video on my terrible laptop camera. It barely worked and when it did, I couldn’t find the file. Worse, when we tried to upload it, the video didn’t work.

‘This file is the wrong format.’ Those words still haunt my dreams.

Through all the struggles, we figured it out. How? There’s one word that opens up our entire world.

“Google.”

If you can’t find it on Google, find a free book on Amazon. If it’s not on Amazon, find a volunteer on Meetup.com. Information is more accessible now than any other point in history, and most of it is completely free.

Use it to your advantage and learn all the applicable skills you need to further your dream.

The Internet is a beautiful place filled with useful information, if we can just tear ourselves away from Facebook, memes and cat pictures.

2) There just isn’t enough time in the day

I’m sure we can all agree that we share the same amount of time in any given day. No one has developed a magical potion or time machine that changes it.

This comes down to priorities. This comes to down to personal motivation and sheer diligence. If you have a goal, dedicate time each day to complete it.

Schedule time every single day and don’t end the day without furthering yourself in some small, even insignificant, way.

If you can move closer to your goal by just 1% each week through reading, writing or learning, you’ll be more than halfway by the end of the year.

That’s doable, right? One measly percent?

3) I need ______ to be successful

Fill in the blank.

Everyone believes they lack something important before they can reach their dream. Whether it is money, knowledge or any other blank in our personal book of excuses, we are more than comfortable abusing it.

In truth, there isn’t anything lacking. All you need is you. You are more than enough. Everything great started with one person. It took one person to come up with an idea and build something great.

Only then, did people notice and start to help.

Following your dreams requires only your complete and undivided attention and effort. Without you, nothing is possible.

So today and every day, take the plunge. Cast away your excuses and start to take action.

Let us use all the free resources possible, manage our time better, and believe in our abilities.

And, as far as being stuck on the name, it didn’t matter.

We were just 2 guys trying to be helpful.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Ten Commandments Of Learning

I’ve tried a few things in my lifetime. Some of them I have been good at, and others have caused me to fall flat on my face like Bambi.

I’ve learned how to play the drums, how to do door to door sales, speak/act on a public stage, create YouTube videos, work out, and the list goes on.

I’ve always enjoyed learning new things and throughout the years I started to realize that any venture you plan on undertaking will have certain universal truths that can help you be successful.
And save you a LOT of time.

I could write an article on each of these, but I want to give you something comprehensive.

Without further ado, here are my “Ten Commandments of Learning.”

1) Be Passionate

No matter what you are going to try, you have to have passion.
It has to invigorate you.

If your venture doesn’t excite you then at some point you are going to lose interest and motivation. You don’t want to get into something that you will eventually drop and forget about.

If the thought of sewing doesn’t excite you, pick something else. This should be common sense but you would be surprised how many people do things with a lack of passion.

Maybe they want to impress other people or they think it’s something they should learn.

Don’t do something for any other reason than fulfilling a passion. Otherwise the results will be lack luster and you will waste your time.

2) Learn From The Professionals

We are lucky to live in the internet age. There are thousands of qualified people giving out free information at every turn.

Instead of just jumping in head first without knowing anything, take a little bit of time to research some people that have already succeeded in your venture and allow them to be digital mentors.

If you have a credible professional closer to you then great, learn in person. Unfortunately most people won’t have that luxury.

You can find hundreds of YouTube videos, blogs, magazines and podcasts on any topic.

This will save you a lot of time spent learning things the hard way. These people have already learned things the hard way, use them as a resource.

Get a digital mentor, or ten, and get cracking.

3) Start Small (*ere ere* Break it down now)
My impression of DJ scratching.

I can not stress how important this one is. Learn the absolute basics first, master them, and then move on to the next stages.

When I was teaching people how to do door to door sales I would focus on one thing at a time. Usually I would start with body language or voice projection.

I wouldn’t even worry about the pitch, closing a sale, or any fine details for a while.

Before any of that, they had to learn the basics.

When you learn an instrument you don’t start off playing Mozart. You don’t even learn a song right away.

First, you start by learning how to hold it, how to play scales and how to take care of it.

Learn what the basics are and then master them.

4) Fall Into A Phase

If you want to learn something effectively you have to immerse yourself in it. Willingly accept that this is something you love and for a time it will take up a lot of your attention.

People might become annoyed when they notice that you talk about this venture a lot and you relate everything back to it, but this will help integrate it into your very being.

I learn everything by going into phases. Right now I am in a positive thinking and willpower phase. I watch YouTube videos about it, listen to audio books, meditate, do positive affirmations and a whole list of other things.

When you go into a phase you may partially neglect other parts of your life and that’s fine because right now you are focusing on something important to you.

You also have to realize that this venture won’t be your main focus for your whole life, but after it is over the lessons you learned will be integrated into you and will help you in any other endeavors.

Allow yourself to fall into a phase and you will learn ten times faster.

5) Dedicate An Allotted Daily Time to Practice

So you have allowed yourself to fall down the rabbit hole and you are deep in a phase.

You spend time learning about your venture, and immersing yourself in your venture, but you must ensure you practice it.

All the theory in the world isn’t worth anything if you never practice and you need to set aside a daily time slot to do so.
It has to be everyday, non-negotiable.

It can be an hour, or ten minutes. If you think you don’t have enough time to practice, then make the time.

Wake up a half hour earlier and do it then, before the birds are chirping and the world is breathing down your neck.

This goes hand in hand with being in a phase because you might not be able to do this for your whole life.

But right now, you need to do it. Get it done everyday, no excuses.

6) Connect With Others On The Same Path

I am a firm believer that you can’t do everything on your own.

You will run into other people while you are venturing down your path. Use their help.

Ask them for advice, get them to practice with you, have discussions with them, and allow them to be a part of your immersion process.

You can find these people on forums, in YouTube comments, or in everyday life.

If you surround yourself with people that have the same interest you will always have a second perspective and a motivator.

7) Allow Yourself To Fail

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Anything you have ever done, you have failed at. From speaking, to walking, to brushing your teeth, and everything in between.

The first thirty times you tried walking you literally fell flat on your ass.

So why do we associate failure with embarrassment when we are older?

I guarantee that if you fail at anything one hundred times, you will be better at it than ninety percent of people.

You will learn a bit about yourself, and your craft, every time you fail.

The difference between the master and the beginner is that the master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried.

8) Teach Another Person

This is the part of the puzzle that most people never fit in. In order to truly internalize a skill you need to teach it.

This will force you to look at the learning experience from every angle and examine your craft down to the smallest details so that you can answer any question.

When you teach someone else something that you have learned, they will experience obstacles that you may not have experienced. You will learn from their failures just as you learned from yours.

Not to mention that you will be helping someone and making the world better.
Each one teach one.

9) Keep It In Your Thoughts

Before you go to bed and night and when you wake up in the morning make sure your venture is on your mind.

Imagine yourself at the end of your journey, a master of new skills, a more resilient version of yourself.

Remind yourself why you started, and why you will persevere through any obstacles.

I like to do this by having daily affirmations. Before I lay in bed at night and before I get up in the morning I repeat a chosen phrase to myself. I close my eyes and visualize my goal as if I am already there.

The mind is a powerful thing and whatever you focus on the most is what will come to fruition in your life.
Make sure it is your goal.

10) Be Humble

Never assume that you know more than anyone else. Take criticism gracefully.

Take the positive out of everything that you can and leave the negative behind.

You must always view yourself as a student, learning as much as you can from all sources.

It is essential that you remain humble and open, otherwise you will not be in the state required for optimal learning. If you are closed minded and arrogant you won’t grow.

These are my ten commandments for learning.

I live by them every day. They will give you the foundation to build your dreams on.

Learning something new is always scary, but if you remember that the commandments are always the same you will feel as though you are walking a familiar path.
It’s a beautiful stroll, isn’t it?

Quotes can change everything

I’ve always had a fascination with quotes.

When I was younger a listened to a lot of hip-hop. I would memorize almost every song I listened to and rap them back to myself constantly. I remember every line of my favorite songs resonating with me on a deep level.

I used to say “This is my favorite part!” to every third line. At one point my friends actually banned me from saying that something was my favorite.

I have always loved how powerful a single phrase can be; how it can change your whole perspective on something.
As I write this I’m listening to “Me against the world” by Tupac.

“They punish the people that ask questions and those that possess, steal from the ones without possessions. The message I stress, to make it stop study your lessons. Don’t settle for less. Even the genius asks questions.”

Quotes are wisdom in it’s most direct form.

If you ever want to learn something, try searching for quotes on Google first.

Recently I have wanted to become a more tranquil person. The world is a chaotic place and I don’t think it plans on stopping at my request. I decided to look up some quotes.
It changed the way I thought about being tranquil and calm.

“If you fill your heart with compassion then you will find your mind fills with tranquility.”

There are even quotes that I use as guides to my life.

I have a tattoo that goes up my side. It says “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.”

I got this tattoo because I believe there is profound truth in the message. Whether you take it in a negative or a positive way, it is true none the less.

The way I interpret it is that you might as well laugh and be happy, if you complain no one will listen anyway. It reminds me to always try to put positivity out into the world.

If you have never looked at a list of quotes, please try it.

If you are feeling down, quotes can help.
If you need to be motivated, look up some quotes.
If you want to know what makes a good leader, find quotes from good leaders.

I hope that one day people will quote me, if I have anything wise to say.
We’ll see if that happens.

 

 

Why bother arguing on the internet?

Opinionated – conceitedly assertive and dogmatic in one’s opinions.

By Bloxy062 on Deviant Art

There is so much anger and negativity on the internet.

I recently activated my Facebook account again. I had shut it down a while ago because it stopped serving any purpose and seemed to be a waste of time. I activated it so I could try to share my blog with more people, but ever since I started visiting the website I have been disturbed by it.

Every time I sign on I see so many arguments laced with poisonous words. People attacking other people simply because they have differing opinions.

I’m not saying that I am above it all, I’m human as well.
It’s not that I don’t have opinions, I’m just not opinionated.

When you attack someone else’s beliefs, you can never change their mind.

What I prefer to do instead is to learn why they hold the beliefs they do. I act like the student and they are the teacher. I approach the situation as if we are old friends discussing the matter. That way, when you come to a point with which you disagree, they have shared their side and you can now share yours.

If you choose to verbally attack them, they will just become more closed off to your ideas. They might even disregard future attempts by others, remembering the bad experience they had with you.
With a humble heart, you can affect people in a much more meaningful way.

There will always be someone out there saying things that upset you.

What is the point in engaging this person. When you do so you breed anger within yourself and fuel them. The anger of the internet will continue without you. If you want to have a positive impact on the world, why not LIVE your ideals instead of trying to force others to believe what you believe.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
– Mark Twain

I have seen so many people fall into misanthropy.

It makes me so sad. How is it that people base their opinion of the human race on the internet, rather than what they experience in everyday life. When I walk the streets I smile at people and do you know what usually happens?
They smile back.

When you stop caring about what goes on in another persons head, you can start to see the good in people.

Usually I try to help but in my posts, but this one is just for me.

I just needed to get this off of my chest. I guess it’s just a rant. There will probably be a lot of people who disagree with everything I say here and that’s okay.

If you believe you are fighting the good fight, then continue on. I just hate to see good people become pessimists. When the anger and hate finally takes over their soul. When they start to look down upon the bulk of society, it breaks my heart.

I believe that what you have inside you will be reflected back from the world around you. Keep joy and sincerity in your heart and don’t worry about the rest. Take a walk, smile at a stranger, and you might realize that the world around you isn’t so bad. Don’t let the world get you down.
The fights will continue on without you.