Four Pillars To A Fulfilling Life P.1

Living a fulfilling life can be a difficult task. Everyone has a different idea of what a fulfilling life consists of.

For me, the ‘rules’ are simple. I like simplification.

When understanding how to live a fulfilling life, I ask myself, “What is the easiest method that I can implement to benefit others and myself?”

I’ve discovered many ‘rules’ to living a fulfilling life. They are broken down into four major categories – Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual – and they can be easily implemented with minimal effort.

Each of these four are major pillars (struts) holding up the building (your body and mind). Strong building blocks create an unshakeable fortress.

Physical

The physical pillar solely consists of your physical body. People attend school full-time to understand how the body works and how to achieve optimal health.

But as important as school may be, the information is very simple. Being healthy is a simple idea. You don’t need to school to understand how to be healthy.

The common sense approach tells us to treat our bodies with respect.

The process is simple – eat properly, sleep effectively, and move regularly.

Eating a diet of sugar and salt damages our fortress. Eat plenty of greens and drink ample water. Your body needs these things to function optimally.

People claim they can function on 5 hours of sleep, but minimal sleep eventually sneaks up on your body. Your days fly by, as you gloss over them in a sleepy haze. Your fortress needs at least 8 hours to function properly.

People that complain they have low energy or are generally unmotivated usually have desk jobs. A little daily exercise each day alleviates both those problems. You don’t need the gym to be active. Play some sports or go for a walk around your neighbourhood. Your body is not meant to be sedentary for long stretches of time.

When you disrespect your body, sometimes you will feel the effects immediately, like feeling lethargic after too much sugar. Sometimes the effects creep up on you, like progressively getting agitated because of little sleep.

Regardless of the outcome, your body tells you when it needs something. When something is lacking, it fights for it. Sometimes we have to let our bodies win, and eat better, sleep efficiently, and move frequently.

Mental

The mental pillar solely consists of your brain function. Everything you consume – knowledge, information, and news – affects our mental capabilities.

This pillar can also be simplified quite easily. Each day aim to learn something new or build on an existing skill/hobby.

As part of this pillar, I aim to read every single day. Even a few pages makes a difference in the way I feel.

“Poor people have big TVs. Rich people have big libraries.” – Jim Rohn.

What if you don’t like reading? Watch YouTube videos or listen to podcasts and audiobooks. One of my favourite YouTube channels is CrashCourse. The creators provide an overview using cute graphics from a variety of interesting topics.

Lastly, make it a goal to consume less news each day. The news rarely reports anything positive or uplifting. You don’t need the added negativity in your life.

I was going to move to the ‘emotional’ pillar next, but this article is already too long. Instead, I’ll cover the last two pillars next week.

While waiting, aim to improve each of these pillars – physical and mental – by 1% before next week. 1% is doable, right?

Just for this week, eat one extra vegetable per day, sleep an extra 15 minutes, and go for a short walk around your neighbourhood.

Just for this week, learn something that you’ve always wanted to learn, or read a book, listen to an audiobook on your commute, or simply just avoid the news.

These minor improvements compile and eventually you’ve improved significantly over the course of a few weeks.

Be sure to check back next week for the rest of this article.

When every aspect of our lives is clearly defined and progressing, life is easier. When living a fulfilling life, the unintended side effects are happiness and abundance.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The King of All Lists

I’ve been doing to-do lists for a long time. Every single morning, I wake up and write down exactly what I want to accomplish by the end of the day.

As I crossed things off that list, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. Crossing things of my goal list is extremely gratifying.

In my opinion, to-do lists are amazing. They give you an outline of the day. They allow you to complete your goals and promote generating/implementing a routine.

They’re built for people that use the common excuse; “I don’t have time,” which, I’ve discovered, is quite a large number of the population.

Outline Your Day

Wake up every morning and write down exactly what you want to accomplish by the end of the day. Keep it short and concise.

Long lists prevent you from completing them, which knocks you down a peg at the end of the day. Make you sure you keep it small.

Have a set of constant goals that you must achieve (more on this later). For me, it’s daily affirmations, learning Spanish, and going to the gym. These are my constant goals to attain each day.

Make Time

For all intensive purposes, I consider myself a busy person. I blog, make videos; attend school and work, and constant learn (or read) something, which sucks up most of my time.

“How do you have time?”

The answer is quite simple. I make time. This is something magical about the to-do list. Having those goals on my to-do almost force me to make time. I know the feeling of not completing that list.

I work to avoid that feeling! I don’t have any extra divine time. I just make sure I fit it in. The to-do list encourages me to complete everything.

Build a Habit

To-do lists help build a routine. As mentioned, I have certain things that stay constant. Gym was always a constant habit, which I internalized early on.

However, affirmations and Spanish was something that never came easy. I constantly forgot to complete them or decided to avoid it for just one day.

Here’s where the list came in. Including those things on my list gave me extra motivation to complete it. I couldn’t allow myself to sleep without completing my list, even though it included a difficult Spanish lesson and time-consuming affirmations.

Now, those things are a constant event on my list, but I don’t need them to be. I’ve built the habit. I know, even without including them on the list, that I have to complete them before the days’ end.

Now, including those goals are formalities. Use your to-do list to build and internalize new habits.

“To-Don’t” List

I used to have a terrible nail-biting habit. My earliest memories included my fingers in constant pain and bleeding. I can’t place any early memories before nail biting.

I’ve pretty much done it my entire life. This was a hard habit to break.

How did I do it?

To-Don’t lists to the rescue. I started my day by writing “Today, I will not bite my nails.” And every night that I didn’t bite, I crossed it off.

Boom. Instant gratification.

The problem with people and bad habits is that they visualize the distant future. They see one week or month into the future and breaking the habit seems almost impossible.

Not biting my nails for a FULL week? Not drinking for a FULL week? Not smoking for a FULL week? That seems torturous.

Instead, focus only on today. Today is the only day that matters. Get through today. And then, tomorrow, get through that today. Time doesn’t exist outside of today. Time is just a series of todays.

Similar to the to-do lists, not being able to cross it off at the end of the day, felt terrible. My decision always includes gratification and today I will achieve it.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The 1% Rule and Goals vs. Systems

When I first started working out, I wanted to see abs immediately. I remember waking up every morning and staring into my full-length mirror from every angle, simultaneously playing with the lighting in my washroom.

I woke up and started my day with disappointment. I never saw any change day-by-day. Everything looked the same. One giant ball of fat. When I look back now and remember where my body was and where it is now, I realized I’ve changed a lot.

Day-by-day it’s hard to see changes. But when you look back in time, everything seems different. For me, my goal has shifted from getting abs before (date), to improving a little everyday. The 1% rule is the most effective way to improve.

The 1% Rule

Every week aim to improve by 1% physically, emotionally, and mentally. A series of baby steps is less daunting than having the overarching goal of ‘have abs before (date),’ or ‘be happy,’ or ‘be smarter.’

Those goals are too large and hard to satisfy, in their own right. But when you aim to improve by 1% every week, you stop focusing on the big picture.

Improvement is made through a succession of little steps, not one large grandiose move.

Be active everyday (and eat healthy) and abs will be around the corner. Find happiness in the little day-to-day activities. Start reading or researching something you’re interested in everyday.

Whatever it may be, improving on it by just 1% each week adds up. Before you realize, you’ll look back and see how much you’ve changed.

Throw Away Goals, Develop Systems

Goals are okay for most people, in the sense that it provides some rough estimation of an endgame. Other than that, goals are terrible.

Sometimes you have too many goals and can’t satisfy them. Sometimes, you never reach your goals and are discouraged completely. Goals are terrible in that sense.

Instead, develop a system. Systems > goals. A system is a particular way of doing something, each time improving on it. A goal is just an endgame. When I started working out I would do abs every single day.

I had the goal of getting abs within the first 3 months (I failed). Then I moved that goal to the next 6 months (I failed). I was frustrated and moved it to within a year (I failed).

And I kept failing. I realized I had my mind so dead-set on the goal that I forgot about the system. My goal was abs and I did abs (that didn’t work). My system was be active everyday and I got abs (that worked).

Doing abs every single day became repetitive. I changed up the routine all the time, but before long, I burnt out. I would go through these ‘phases’ of short bursts of abs, followed by long hiatuses.

Goals never work. When I switched to the system, the mere daily activity made my abs show. For me, I believe systems are better than goals. Develop your own systems that improve you by just 1% every week.

You will see real physical, emotional, and mental changes each week and it will keep you coming back for more. You will thank me for it.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

One Simple Fitness Principle

I definitely need to preface this by saying that I am not an expert in this field, nor have I received any formal education on this topic.

I am purely speaking from life experiences and a compendium of research, that I have personally sent through my bullshit filter. Keeping that in mind, please consult your doctor before engaging in any physical activity.

In the purest understanding, fitness is a very subjective topic. Everyone has his or her own opinions on what works and what do not. Fitness is a combination of ‘research’ and bro-science.

For this reason, fitness has become a convoluted topic, with varying opinions filled with incredibly adamant people affirming their knowledge.

My base understanding of fitness consists of one core principle: Be active everyday. By being active everyday, I mean, doing any sort of physical activity. I intentionally make it sound vague.

When I first started ‘working out,’ it consisted of playing unorganized sports with friends. I wasn’t naturally gifted in any sport, but I enjoyed the act of running around with a basketball or a soccer ball.

Key Principle – Be Active Everyday

Find something you thoroughly enjoy doing and all of the other elements of fitness will fall into place naturally. To stay fit in the long run, you need to see fitness as children do – for fun.

When it starts becoming work, you slowly consume willpower and eventually fall off. You have a limited amount of willpower each day. As we get older, we use up willpower on chores, kids, wives (and husbands), making dinner and taking out the garbage. Often, fitness is the first thing on the chopping block.

When you do something you enjoy, you take willpower out of the equation. Your natural inclination will be to gradually increase your workout. You continue to do it because you want to and enjoy it.

When you’re active everyday, your body feels good about it. Your brain releases endorphins (more on that topic here) and it will become easier to continue. It slowly becomes a daily habit and your natural inclination for variety will drive you to do more stuff over time.

I don’t recommend any sort of workout plan or system for fitness. Why, because what works for me, may (or may not) necessarily work for you. Everyone is different.

No matter how charismatic that exercise guru on your DVD sounds, don’t believe that someone else’s fitness plan will work for you. What you need is a natural and easy way to evolve into a fitness routine that works for your brain and body.

Any fitness routine that depends on willpower, will inevitably fail. Or worse, another part of your life will get affected when you divert willpower to fitness.

Routine

Construct some sort of scheduled routine for daily exercise. Join an organized team; exercise at around the same time everyday, or workout with a partner, friend, or spouse.

This will be the core to constructing a habit. Taking rest days between exercise days breaks up the pattern that creates habits. It becomes too easy to say today is a one of your non-exercise days, and maybe tomorrow too.

No Pain, No Gain

I’ve tried the ‘pushing yourself till you can’t’ system a few times. It has always failed for me (but maybe you’re different). For me, the ‘no pain, no gain’ system takes too much willpower. If I suck up willpower at the gym, I can barely resist binge eating after.

Secondly, this system puts additional stress on my body. My body is sore and debilitated. The soreness is like a penalty for exercising. When I had a penalty every time, it gave me a reason to stop and it was usually along the lines of “I’m too sore to workout today.”

I Don’t Feel Like Working Out

So how do you muster up the energy on those days where you just want to sit on the couch with a bowl of chocolate almonds and sloth out? The system that I found works best is setting a time frame.

On those days, I usually tell myself that in X amount of time, I will get up and go be active. I will allow myself to sloth out a little bit, but as the deadline to activity slowly approaches, I feel my energy begin to rise.

Another method that I have tried is putting on my workout clothes and going to the gym. When I’ve arrived at the gym, I usually do some form of activity because it would be a large waste of time otherwise.

Regardless of how you personally view fitness, the central point is to be deliberately active every single day. Being active is one of the essential maxims for good health – diet, being another maxim. Be active for your spouse and kids. But more importantly, be active for yourself.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Four Stress Relieving Methods

Recently my life has been quite stress-free. There haven’t been any problems worth worrying about and everything is going according to plan.

I don’t mean to brag. I’m sorry. But until school starts, my life will continue to be relatively stress-free. But like death and taxes, stress is virtually unavoidable in today’s world.

Although stress is an unavoidable factor, there are ways to manage it. If you manage stress, you manage your mood. I feel like it’s safe to say that everyone has an identical final goal – to be happy.

Managing stress is one of the many yellow bricks on that long road to happiness.

1) Confide in someone

“A trouble shared is a trouble halved.” – Chinese Proverb

But don’t complain. Sharing a problem with someone close allows you share that stress factor. Share it with someone who may have encountered the same problem.

Their guidance will be extremely helpful. But be weary! Don’t complain to people, especially to random strangers.

Remember that everyone encounters stress and the majority of people do not want to hear how bad your day was. Keep your thoughts with close family and friends.

2) What are you thoughts?

Everything stems from your thoughts (well, your brain). How does your brain deal with stress and stressful situation.

i) Write it down

And throw them away (or burn them). I find, throwing your thoughts, worries, and stresses away have some profound effects. The physical act of throwing away written negative thoughts can mentally purge them.

You can also burn them. Call me a pyromaniac or arsonist (none of which I am), but there is something incredibly therapeutic about fire.

ii) “Cancel Rule”

A friend of mine suggested the “Cancel Rule.” Personally, I find this method extremely effective. Next time you are stressed and find yourself lost in your thoughts, start repeating cancel to yourself.

Repeat the word ‘cancel’ over and over again and that negative thought appears to have vanished away.

3) Go for a walk

Being in nature is calming – but even looking at an image of nature can decrease stress levels and increase positivity.

Personally speaking, I love walking outside. The sights and smells have a very calming effect on my body. Sometimes, I take outside for granted. When you stop everything and go for a walk, you really start to appreciate the beauty.

Everything is green and striving. That energy is transferred to me.

4) Breathe deeply

I’ve mentioned the importance of breath in a previous article (You can check it out here). Too few people breathe improperly. The breaths are shallow and faint because breathing is left to the unconscious mind.

Stop for a few moments and listen to your breath. Feel your breath entering your stomach and exiting your nose. Pay close attention to your breathing. It allows your body and brain to get a burst of oxygen, relieving any stress that may occur.

There are a lot of little problems in the world that can be stressed over. The key to managing stress comes from ignoring the little problems.

These problems find their way into your brain and fester until they become large ones. Following the mentioned techniques has helped me manage my stress levels.

How do you deal with stress and stressful situations? Leave a comment below. My readers and I would love to hear from you.

Be bold, be free, and love on.