Our Fears Are A Double-Edged Sword

I once watched a woman on Maury who was terrified of cotton balls. She would dream of a giant cotton ball man murdering her most nights.

She was so terrified that she hardly left the house. She succumbed to the fear and it consumed her entire life.

We all have fears. Some of us are terrified of spiders or heights and some fears are more rational than others.

My main fear is failure. I’m afraid of disappointing others, failing to accomplish my dreams and goals, and failing myself.

Failure will inevitably destroy us if we allow it. It has the power to paralyze our bodies and leave us broken and sedentary.

It makes us tremble, keeps us from leaping into new experiences and challenges. It debilitates our growth process and hinders our ability to learn.

These are my fears, and maybe if you experience the same ones, we can learn from them together.

A) Failure as a fellow human

Sometimes I am afraid that I am not enough for others. Sometimes I feel like I should do more, say more, and be more.

The thought of letting the people I love down feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to be more present, more appreciative and more loving.

Let us all aim to be stronger individuals towards others – friends, partners and strangers alike – and aim to impact each and every individual we encounter in a wholly positive manner.

B) Failure to pursue my passion

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never reach my goals. While these moments are seldom, they come rushing and almost overcome my entire being.

The thought of not reaching my potential feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to work harder, smarter and use my time wisely. We should never compromise our passion and life to pursue work that does not truly make us happy.

Let us all aim to pursue our passions, so our work-life and passions become intertwined into one sole entity.

Our energy and life is limited. Why should we spend one single moment not being completely content in our work life?

C) Failure as myself

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never be truly enough for myself. Sometimes insecurities resurface and it can be hard to wrap my head around it.

The thought of succumbing to my insecurities feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to battle the insecurities head on. Work through them one by one and leave them broken and battered on the floor.

Let us all cast away our insecurities in the successful attempt to grow into the strongest version of ourselves. Everyone has insecurities that resurface from time-to-time, but let us never allow time to wallow in them.

Fear as a Stepping-Stone

As debilitating as fear can be, it is completely necessary for us to grow and progress. Fear is an astounding motivator. It is our worst enemy, but it can also be our best friend.

When my fears of failure resurface, there are only two options: succumb and wallow or fight and grow.

The latter is more appealing than the former. Without our fears, we would never truly understand where our weak points lie and what we must do in order to grow. 

Even though the worst thing I can think of in life is failing others and myself, I am very grateful for all my fears. Without my fears, I would never truly understand the importance of presence, hard work, appreciativeness, passion and love.

However, while putting all this out in the universe, I wonder if there are others that fear the same things.

Or, maybe, all my fears are just as irrational as a giant cotton ball man murdering me.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The 3 Mindsets You Need To Be Happy

When I was younger I had a blood disorder that affected my serotonin levels and caused me to be depressed.

At seven years old I would watch cartoons and break out into tears. I felt like I was losing the battle against my emotions.

I thought a lot about what it means to be happy, and how I could be happier despite this chemical imbalance.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever really won this battle of emotions. I still have ups and downs, good days and bad days.

But I’ve realized that when it comes to being happy, the circumstances don’t matter that much. It’s all about your perspective and your mindsets.

So here are the 3 mindsets that we need to be happy.

1) Our Present Does NOT Dictate Our Future

No matter where we are, how we feel, or what we are doing—that doesn’t decide what will happen in our future.

When everything is going wrong in our lives, we’ll have a hard time imagining a hopeful future.

And you aren’t the only person that gets trapped in this feeling of doom and gloom. Impact bias is the tendency for people to overestimate the length or the intensity of future feeling states.

When we are depressed we can only assume that we will be depressed forever. We are twenty feet deep in a hole with only a shovel—we feel we can only go further down.

But if we have this mindset instilled within us, we’ll be able to get out eventually.

2) The Past Is A Story, The Future Is An Imagination

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
But, if you are at peace, you are living in the present.
-Lao Tzu

We spend a lot of time regretting the past, or worrying about the future. But we don’t realize that these things are not exactly what they seem.

Humans are naturally pretty terrible at remember the past. Every time we recall a past memory we are actually remembering the last time we remembered it. In this process we alter the memory.

After years and years, the past is just a collection of completely inaccurate stories we tell ourselves. Some of us tell happy stories, some tell sad stories, but they are all stories.

Don’t base your emotions on the past.

The rest of the time we spend worrying about the future.

We stress about deadlines, awkward conversations, whether we will find love, get the job, and even whether or not we will be happy.

Think about that. We ruin our happiness in the present because we are worrying about whether or not we will be happy in the future.

Humans are bad at correctly recalling the past, and we are also terrible at predicting the future. Every doomsday scenario that plays out in our heads fail to come to pass.

The solution is to not regret the past, but move on, and not worry about the future, but live in the moment.

3) We Don’t NEED A Reason To Be Happy

This is the most important mindset for happiness. If you need a reason to be happy, your happiness can always be taken away.

Happiness is something we should try to cultivate within us. We need to learn to be happy for the sake of being happy.

Material possessions, promotions, friends, relationships, respect—these are all great and should make us happy, but we should never rely on them to be happy.

If we learn to be happy for no reason at all, we’ll be able to keep our happiness no matter what happens around us.

And that’s what we all want right, to be happy?

6 Easy Tips To Simplify Your Life

Is your day-to-day life full of stress and chaos?

Are you scrambling for a brief peaceful moment in the day just to relax? There is just too much each day to worry about, keep track off and deal with.

Everyday, we’re plagued with the trials and tribulations of life. We’re put to the test and forced to deliver. If we don’t, we disappoint someone, or worse, ourselves.

Amidst the chaos, it can be hard to find a peaceful moment. So then, what is the solution? It is quite simple – simplify your life.

We’ve compiled some of our best tips to help you simplify your life. We use these on a day-to-day basis and it grants us perspective and allows us some quiet in the chaos.

1) Believe in Yourself

You are your own worst critic. You are your own judge and jury. What you think about yourself directly affects how you feel and act.

Strive for a positive mindset. Look for the good in every person and every situation. Sometimes it’s hard to find. But the harder it is to find, the greater the reward.

However, at the same time, realize that you are just human. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself when you don’t accomplish a goal. There is no perfect person.

Instead, call it day and reset tomorrow. Every day is a new day to start believing in yourself again.

2) Be Grateful

Something we do on our worst days is a ‘Be Grateful’ list. We list all the things that we’re glad to have in lives. We usually aim for 10.

Sometimes it is hard to find things to be grateful for.

But, even through our worse times, there is always something. Dig deep and search. When we have a questionable day, we write down anything that comes to mind.

Here are a few for today. I’m Grateful for:

• The ability to breathe
• The ability to think and feel
• The sunshine that gives me energy and life
• Clean water

We often take for granted the simple things in life. These simple ‘gratefuls’ are often overlooked but they matter the most.

We don’t miss something until it is completely gone. We never know when we’ll lose the ability to breathe or think and feel the sunshine. So, let us cherish it while it’s still in our lives.

3) De-clutter Your Life

Naturally we are simple beings. We grew up knowing only the simple pleasures. It’s not until recently that the latest cellphones and biggest televisions consumed us.

Now, we’re consumed by physical trash. We’re surrounded by more and more clutter that prevents us from every feeling truly happy.

We start to attach our happiness to frivolous items that fade. As the item fades, our happiness fades along with it. Then. we purchase more clutter to attach and sustain our happiness.

In order to achieve some clarity in our lives, we must first de-clutter our space and then de-clutter our minds. We must shed the attachment to shiny items.

We must reduce, cut back and simplify. Throw away anything you haven’t used in the last 6 months.

You’ll start to realize that the less you have, the less you’ll want.

4) Use Everything in Moderation

One time I ate too many oranges (because they are good for you) and I got a sore throat for 2 weeks. Even vitamin c is bad is large doses.

Too much of anything – good or bad – will wear us down. Whether it’s work, socializing, eating, shopping or television, eventually it will take its toll on us.

Practice self-restraint and you will achieve some piece of mind. When we go overboard with anything, the consequences are always negative.

5) Limit Complaints

When were you on the tail end of a chronic complainer? No matter what seems to happen, this person has something to complain about. How did you feel hearing all of his/her complaints?

Complaints are always a negative reaction to a situation. Complainers are chronic negative people that can’t see the positive.

Limit your complaints, or better yet, avoid it all together. Try to avoid complaining for an entire day. When you catch yourself, stop and change the topic.

You can be one of two people: a problem person or a solution person. Are you going to whine about your issues or are you going to deal with or fix your problem?

6) Self-Reflection

Almost everyone has a few moments when they’re laying in bed at the end of the night. But how often do we get lost in our own thoughts.

Use these last moment of the night to reflect. Ask yourself questions about your day:

• Was I the best I could be today?
• Could I have helped someone more?
• Did I do something of importance or significance?

Spend some time today constructing your own meaningful questions. If you fail a question, strive for it the next day. Always aim to improve.

Aim to feel happier, be more fulfilled and grow endlessly.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

3 Terrible Ways Self-Sabotage Ruins Our Success

When Steven and I first started 2HelpfulGuys, we didn’t have a vision. We didn’t even have an idea.

We knew we wanted to help people in some way. We wanted to impact peoples’ lives through our articles and cheesy videos.

We couldn’t start anything until we had a great name behind us. We sat there for hours trying to come up with one.

Steven and I stared at my laptop screen, then back at each other, then back at the laptop screen. We were shouting out random synonyms for the words like ‘happy’ and ‘life’ and ‘positive.’

Nothing really stuck, except us. We were stuck.

Be honest now, how often do you sabotage yourself?

For most people, it’s almost daily. We have dreams at night that make us ponder incredible possibilities for the future. But as the morning sun rises we let our dreams die in the daylight.

We wake up and carry on with our monotonous lives because of self-sabotage. We’re afraid of what might be. We’re afraid of our seemingly impossible challenges.

We stay in our secure little 9-5 bubbles, despite the endless unhappiness.

Self-sabotage ruins our dreams, and in turn, us.

When Steven and I ask people why they don’t pursue their dreams, we receive the same three excuses. It is the same excuses that we once had when we started 2HelpfulGuys.

1) I don’t know how?

No one begins an endeavour knowing exactly how to do it. Everything is one giant trial and error process.

We filmed out first YouTube video on my terrible laptop camera. It barely worked and when it did, I couldn’t find the file. Worse, when we tried to upload it, the video didn’t work.

‘This file is the wrong format.’ Those words still haunt my dreams.

Through all the struggles, we figured it out. How? There’s one word that opens up our entire world.

“Google.”

If you can’t find it on Google, find a free book on Amazon. If it’s not on Amazon, find a volunteer on Meetup.com. Information is more accessible now than any other point in history, and most of it is completely free.

Use it to your advantage and learn all the applicable skills you need to further your dream.

The Internet is a beautiful place filled with useful information, if we can just tear ourselves away from Facebook, memes and cat pictures.

2) There just isn’t enough time in the day

I’m sure we can all agree that we share the same amount of time in any given day. No one has developed a magical potion or time machine that changes it.

This comes down to priorities. This comes to down to personal motivation and sheer diligence. If you have a goal, dedicate time each day to complete it.

Schedule time every single day and don’t end the day without furthering yourself in some small, even insignificant, way.

If you can move closer to your goal by just 1% each week through reading, writing or learning, you’ll be more than halfway by the end of the year.

That’s doable, right? One measly percent?

3) I need ______ to be successful

Fill in the blank.

Everyone believes they lack something important before they can reach their dream. Whether it is money, knowledge or any other blank in our personal book of excuses, we are more than comfortable abusing it.

In truth, there isn’t anything lacking. All you need is you. You are more than enough. Everything great started with one person. It took one person to come up with an idea and build something great.

Only then, did people notice and start to help.

Following your dreams requires only your complete and undivided attention and effort. Without you, nothing is possible.

So today and every day, take the plunge. Cast away your excuses and start to take action.

Let us use all the free resources possible, manage our time better, and believe in our abilities.

And, as far as being stuck on the name, it didn’t matter.

We were just 2 guys trying to be helpful.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

More Control In Your Life

We cannot control every aspect of our lives and we shouldn’t even attempt to. In fact, most of the misery people feel in life comes from attempting to control the uncontrollable.

We can’t control the economy or the weather. And we most definitely cannot control others.

All we can control is ourselves – our character, our outlook, our actions and contributions.

Everything else, for the most part, is largely uncontrollable.

But still, we try. Why?

It is an instinctual desire to have a larger sense of control over our inner and outer worlds. We want control over our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We want to control our outcomes and the relationships we have in the outside world. But we mustn’t stray to far.

Control is a double-edged sword

If we have too much control, we can become rigid and inflexible. We start expecting things to turn out exactly as planned and lose our ability to adapt when things go awry.

On the opposite end, if we have no control in our lives, we can feel like we’re in a tailspin. No control means little choice over our wills, paths and life purposes. We are left to the whims of luck and chance.

We can’t tell you how much control is sufficient. It varies from person to person. Our levels of control might be someone else’s definition of too much or too little. We all need different levels at different points in our lives.

Although, through our many experiences, we have figured out one thing we can control, without wandering too far in either direction.

Control our inner world

Sometimes the bus arrives early and we miss it by a few moments. Or someone close to you hurts you. Or it could be as trivial as your roommate drinking all the milk.

Regardless of the problem, most of what happens to us is completely out of our control. However, our ultimate response – how we react – is directly under our control.

How we perceive each situation determines how we feel. But, a positive outlook is tougher than we might expect. Our perceptions are informed by a compilation of what we consume on a daily basis.

Almost everything we see or read is some form of negativity or chaos. The average person watches four hours of television and then spends another few hours browsing the Internet.

Between the television and the Internet, we can’t escape the clutches of negativity.

If we want to control our inner world – our thoughts, feelings and actions – we have to consider the information we consume.

Perhaps we should use the extra ‘TV time’ purposefully consuming positive and empowering information. Or meet with friends that will lift us up. Or work through and tackle new challenges that remind us how strong we really are.

We have to safeguard our outlook to control our interpretations of the world around us. We have to seek optimism with urgency.

Being an optimist means that we are able to find the glimmer of good in every person, situation, and problem. We able to be hopeful when things go awry. We are able to adapt when things don’t proceed as planned.

Optimism, like pessimism, is a choice completely under our control. Given the choice, which should we choose – a life of positive experiences or negative expectations?

Which way shall we steer our lives today and every day?

What will we stand for today? Will we allow petty situations to overwhelm us? What kind of positive values and beliefs shall we release to the world every day?

When we align our positive outlook with diligent intention, we can begin to take control of our internal worlds and feel happier and more fulfilled.

We can face the worlds’ challenges head-on and become an unshakeable fortress.

So today, when everyone is trying to control the bus schedule or trying to stop their roommates from drinking all the milk, spend your time purposely with the intent of controlling your unshakeable optimistic outlook.

As always, our beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.