Reduce Your Negativity in 4 Ways

Back in March, I started this site as a producer of positivity and hope for the masses. That goal is still incredibly strong inside me. I feel the burning urge to help people.

I feel compelled to help people through my stories and experiences. Everyday, I wake up and check my statistics for the site. I am delighted that people are reading and commenting and enjoying this site. Thank you, by the way.

I am more than content to help people, in whatever small way possible. That being said, I aim to be a ray of positivity in peoples’ lives.

There is so much negativity in the world. It seems as if people are drawn to it. The more they hear about it, the more they want to participate in it.

People surround themselves with negativity through their everyday lives. And for those who do not surround themselves with it, negativity seems to seek them out.

A) FAMILY and FRIENDS

I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have many positive and loving people in my life. These people have molded the man you are reading about today.

But, these people weren’t always there. I had to go through an intense sifting process to filter out the toxic people in life.

I suggest doing the same. Pessimistic people continue to suck the soul from your body. They want to complain, gossip, hate, negative-ate (a patented Leroy word) all their feelings on you.

You don’t need all that in your life. Cut them.

B) TELEVISION 

I BARELY watch television these days. This is partially due to the lack of time, but also because there isn’t anything to watch.

There are so few good (by ‘good,’ I mean positive) shows out there. The majority of them are crime dramas and news.

When I was growing up, there were shows like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Wholesome television shows with positive messages about family, love, and friendship. Now the biggest shows are about jealousy, backstabbing and meth.

When did we turn towards the dark-side? While these shows are ‘entertaining,’ negative messages are propagated. Through cinematography we consume so much negativity and hate.

C) THE NEWS

This is somewhat similar to television, except for the fact that the news is literally EVERYWHERE. It’s hard to escape it. I never ever watch or read the news.

This is not due to ignorance. Under qualified, stupid reporters that spread negativity reports the news. There is never anything positive on the news. No heroic stories? No Jimmy opening up a lemonade stand? No nothing.

“But how will you fit in?”

A new friend told me in high society, people would look down on you if you don’t know current events. While that may be true, I don’t really care.

My main question is “why?” To fit into some negativity small-talk box? To surround myself with all the negative people, I’ve spent the majority of life avoiding?

Personally, I find it a waste of time.

D) SOCIAL MEDIA

Cyber-bullying is all the rage these days. It is a huge problem. Back in my day (am I really that old?), kids just called me fat and pushed me around. It hurt, a lot. But I got over it.

There is a key difference between my childhood bullying and modern bullying. My bullying was unavoidable. I had to go to school everyday. Social media isn’t necessary. Delete it, you don’t need it.

Similarly, negativity is found in literally all over the Internet. YouTube trolls, Facebook arguments, and Twitter ‘beefs.’ Do not subscribe to these forms of avoidable negativity.

Use these ‘tools’ but do not get consumed by them.

SOLUTION?

Use the word ‘No’ more often. There is great power in that word. Take control of your life. Opt for ‘No’ to anything and anyone you do not want in your life.

Say ‘no’ to mindless meetings, negative people, social media ‘beefs,’ anger, and regret. Mindless television and news. Say no to all the negativity in your life. The moment you do so, you’ll notice an incredible change.

Life will be simpler, almost serene.

“When you have a tiny piece of shit in the soup, it doesn’t matter how much more water you pour in and how many more spices you put on top. There’s shit in the soup.” – James Altucher

Say ‘no’ when people try to place a little piece of shit in your soup.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Appreciation and Gratitude

I have big news.

I am going to be moving out soon. Most likely on the first of august. It’s a big step in my life that I am very excited about.

Whenever big changes are happening in our lives we tend to reflect on what we are leaving behind. I’ve realized that I have a greater appreciation for things while looking back than I did in the actual moment.

I have a love/hate relationship with my cats, but now that I am moving I know that I will miss them. I don’t always appreciate my family, but now that I know I won’t be seeing them as often, I consciously put in more effort. It makes me wonder why I didn’t have this attitude the whole time.

It seems we appreciate everything more in retrospect.

The aim of life is appreciation; there is no sense in not appreciating things; and there is no sense in having more of them if you have less appreciation of them. -Gilbert K. Chesterton

I want to give my family and the people around me the appreciation they deserve. I came up with an exercise to keep things in perspective and encourage myself to show my gratitude to those who deserve it.

Imagine you are retired.

Your memories seem so distant, you’ve let go of any grudges and you reminisce every once in a while in a nostalgic state. Even the small moments, laughing with a co-worker forty years ago, are cherished gems that have so much emotion attached you could shed a tear just thinking about them.

You laugh to yourself when you realize that so many of the things you were so preoccupied with, weren’t really that important.

You wish you could reach out to certain people, you wish you could tell them how much they meant to you.

Are there people in your life you aren’t appreciating enough?

Visualizing myself being older and looking back helps to keep the important things in perspective.

The more I think about it the more I realize that the memories I will cherish the most are the times I exchange gratitude and appreciation with the people around me. I don’t want to look back and feel like I didn’t give my whole heart to the people around me.

If you feel the same, tell the people in your life that you appreciate them.

That’s all you have to say to give someone a memory that will last a life time. Just say “I appreciate you.”

One Lesson to Happiness.

I want to preface this by saying; I do not know what happiness actually means. Sure there is a dictionary definition, but it means different things to different people. To me, happiness means inner peace and ability to think freely, clearly and without hindrance.

Expressing gratitude is a lost art in the world. Have we lost the ability to be grateful? Have we taken the simple things for granted? What if I told you that happiness is explicitly linked to gratitude? Would you believe me?

You go through your daily life, puttering around and living your life, continually taking everything for granted. I am equally as guilty, but I am trying to improve.

The more grateful you are, the happier you will feel. This is mostly because as you take things for granted, the less they mean to you. Even if these things play big roles in your life, they are overlooked.

Naturally, your brain slows down and chooses the simplest method to run your body. You start to overlook the simple and important things and live your life in a mediocre state.

“Many people who order their lives rightly in all other ways are kept in poverty by their lack of gratitude.” – Wallace Wattles

These are three methods I use to take control of my brain and my happiness.

A) Be Grateful Every Morning

I try to begin everyday with ‘thank you.’ As soon as I wake up, I start by saying thank you. Thank you for another day, thank you for opening my eyes, and thank you for another breath.

There are a lot of things that can sweep you away in the night, so I am grateful. This sets the tone for the entire day. Rather than stumbling out of bed and letting the day take control of me, I choose to intentionally create the day with gratitude.

Each morning before you get out of bed, make it a habit to feel the feelings of gratitude in advance for the great day ahead, as though it is done.

B) “Be Grateful” List

On those days, where you are filled with negative feelings, thoughts, and unhappiness, being grateful helps. Sometimes, I look around and say, “Well I don’t have a health that I want. I don’t have the money I want. I don’t have the love that I want.”

Back up for second and focus on what you already have. It might be that you have the eyes to read this. It might be the clothes you have. It might be that you have the ability to come up with ideas and solutions. Sit and down and write all the things that you are grateful for.

It eases my brain and simplifies my life. I cut out all the negative thoughts and feelings and only think about the good in my life. It is impossible to bring more into your life if you are feeling ungrateful for the things you already have. Negative thoughts only breed more negative thoughts.

C) End Your Night with Grateful

When you lie in bed, reflect on your thoughts and actions of your day. Even on a terrible day, there is always something to be grateful for. I find that being grateful helps incredibly when I’ve had a bad day.

It lulls my body to sleep and prepares myself for another challenge the next day. I feel like being grateful has altered the way I perceive difficult situations.

Next time you encounter a difficult situation, stop and think. Forget the situation and say ‘thank you.’ Next time you encounter a crappy feeling, stop and think. Forget the feeling and say ‘thank you.’ Next time you encounter a negative thought, stop and think. Forget the thought and say ‘thank you.’

You will find momentary happiness and serenity. The more exercise gratitude, the longer this powerful impression will hold.

Five Things To Do Everyday.

Ugh, what a simplistic title. I try my best to come up with eye-catching titles for each article. This one is plain stupid.

I wish I could say, “Do these things and your life will be great.” Sadly, this may not work for everyone, but it works for me. These are the things that I implement into my daily routine that make my life slightly happier each day. They may work for you as well.

1) The Bed is Calling

The majority of the population is over-worked and under-rested. Sleep is such an important aspect of our lives that we often overlook. Instead of sleeping, we waste time watching television, endlessly browsing our Twitter/Facebook feeds and wasting away on Pinterest. I am guilty of this on occasion.

When sleep is overlooked, I am cranky, tired and unable to properly function. I can’t think straight, my eyes burn and I am just overall unproductive. Adequate sleep has become the clinch-pin in my everyday routine. Sleep at least eight hours a day. You owe it to yourself and your body.

2) BBW

Simple put, knowledge is power. Your brain is the greatest muscle you possess. Be A Book Worm. I think it is safe to say that everyone can benefit from more reading. There is simply no such thing as ‘too much reading.’

Reading has opened up my world to an innumerable amount of ideas, thoughts, and feelings. The more I read, the more I feel in control. I can control what information I consume.

Try and read everyday. I personally enjoy non-fiction books. I feel like I need to learn something from a novel or it is a waste of my time. Also, I have a severe lack of imagination, making imagery terribly difficult.

3) A Page a Day

Write every single day. Try to write at least one page a day. I feel like I’ve been writing forever. It started with really angsty teenage poems, helping through my breakups, to some form of a journal, finally to this blog. Now, this is my primary source of writing everyday and I love it.

Writing is a daunting task at first. What do I write about, you ask? Write about your day, your thoughts and feelings today, an interesting/memorable story that occurred, your goals/aspirations, etc. There is an endless amount of topics.

The writing does not have to be “novelist level.” Just enough to get all your thoughts and feelings on paper. Expressing your thoughts is incredibly important. Unfortunately, twitter does not count as an avenue.

4) Easy Chemicals

Laughter is another over-looked, under-fulfilled aspect of many peoples’ lives. Everyday, we are struck with anxieties, fears, deadlines, and pressures of the world. So do the exact opposite of that.

Simply laugh. Laughter releases valuable oxytocin (pleasure hormone) in your brain. It’s like having a series of miniature orgasms. Need I say more?

I fit something funny everyday into my routine. Watching standup is one of my favorite pass times. Look up the works of Eddie Murphy, Louis C.K., Kevin Hart, and Dave Chappelle. They are some of my favorites and offer some quality laughs.

5) Simple Words

“You can catch more flies with honey, than you do with vinegar” – Anonymous

I’m not quite sure, why you would ever want to catch flies, but I love the quote. In a world, where criticism and negative thoughts flood, compliments are infrequent and seldom.

Showing even a mild form of gratitude or compliment can absolutely brighten up ones’ day, but it’s rarely said. Why? I don’t understand it. I feel good when someone says something nice to me. I should repay the favour.

Spend some time everyday expressing your gratitude to somebody. Pick up the phone and thank someone for a favor, return an email that has been sitting in your inbox or turn to the person next to you and compliment his or her hair.

A few words make a huge difference in ones’ life, so why not make them positive.

In all honesty, I do not know if this will work for you. These are aspects of my daily practice that craves to be completed. Sometimes, I do not complete them all. On those days, I feel like I robbed myself of something.

The times I do complete them, I feel like I can tackle another day. I can move forward towards the next task in higher spirits. I am selfish today because this post was mostly for me. This was written to remind me of the things I will do to be better today and everyday.

I can improve and it all starts with completing the five things to do everyday.