4 People We Must Avoid AT ALL COSTS.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

Well, I think it’s more like ten to fifteen. The ten to fifteen people we see the most have the greatest impact on us.

Surrounding ourselves with positive people changes our perceptions. As our social groups encourages, pushes and lifts us up, our own system does the same for them.

Conversely, toxic individuals are completely exhausting to be around. When we surround ourselves with negative people, it will take a toll on our mind and body.

Eventually it seeps in and consumes us. Slowly, we become complainers, judgers, gossipers, and victims.

The distractions and emotional baggage that toxic people bring into our lives are unnecessary obstacles that we must inevitably cross.

We all know a few toxic people – they might be our distant co-workers, family spouses, or our closest friends. Even a modicum of regular contact with these people influence our decisions and thought processes.

The sooner we remove them from our lives, the better. Here are four toxic individuals that we must avoid at all costs.

The Complainers

It seems that everyone has something to complain about. Even when life is completely amazing, these individuals find something to rant about – the weather, crime rates, global warming, etc.

Even for trivial issues, these individuals find something. It seems that they create problems when everything seems to be great, just to possess the right to complain.

As we consume others’ complaints, we forget how good our lives are and we begin to create problems out of thin air.

Avoid The Complainers at all costs.

The Judgers

Judgmental people will find a way to criticize anything and everything they come in contact with. They draw conclusions without understanding all the facts.

These individuals believe that they’re right in every situation. They feel like they have the right to impose their views on others.

No matter what we say to these individuals, nothing can be changed. Save your breath and your life.

Avoid The Judgers at all cost.

The Gossipers

People gossip because they feel insecure with themselves and their lives. They cannot separate fact from speculation and when facts twisted, wrong information is spread out, and peoples’ feelings get hurt.

Gossiping can quickly change a friendly environment into a hostile environment. As people begin to gossip to us, we should change the subject or ignore them completely.

We must ask ourselves, ‘do I want to partake in hurting someone’s feelings?’

The answer to that question should always be a resounding ‘no.’

Avoid The Gossipers at all cost.

The Victims

These individuals never take responsibility for their actions. They are constantly making excuses or blaming others for their mistakes and wrongdoings.

They feel like the world has a personal vendetta against them and choose to lie down and give up.

As these individuals experience further turmoil, it’s just more reason to play the damaged victim.

When you surround yourself with these people, you internalize a victim attitude. You begin to perceive the world as evil and never accept responsibility for your actions.

Avoid The Victims at all costs.

The Four

If any of these toxic individuals ring a bell, there is a high chance that you have one or more of these people in your life.

These four individuals consume our minds from the inside, out. As we constantly receive their messages, we start to identify with people.

When we turn into these people, we start to negatively impact those that close with us.

Pessimism breeds more pessimism.

However, the same can be said for optimism. As we surround ourselves with optimistic people, we, in turn, become optimistic. We spread our positive energy to those closest to us.

Pessimism and optimism are a choice. Which one do you choose to surround yourself with? Which one do you choose to spread to the rest of the world?

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

11111-491x250

The 3 Rules For A Good Life

What is a good life? Without getting too philosophical, I think a good life is only based on a few rules.

There are too many rules in life. I’m told to stand up straight, act a certain way; don’t use the salad fork for the steak.

What do you mean?

A FORK IS A FORK!

Amidst all the criticisms how do you live a good life? To be honest, I don’t know. But, here’s where I start:

1) Laughter

Every single day, I insert a reason to laugh. As children we laugh about 300 times a day. As an adult, that number is reduced to a meager 7.

SEVEN.

How did we go from 300 to 7?

Did we cross some bridge of agony and now here we are: Mindless drones that wake up, go to work, participate in office gossip, watch Breaking Bad, and then sleep and die?

Laughter is really hard as an adult. It must be, right? Going from 300 to 7? There must have been some sort of life-changing traumatic event that occurred between childhood and adulthood.

We need to get back to our childhood roots. We need to laugh more. Start here:

Standup – Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K. Gabriel Iglesias

T.V. Shows – Blue Mountain State, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office

Movies– Anchorman, Happy Gilmore

YouTube – Our Own Gentlemen’s Corner (no list would be complete without it)

2) Be Grateful

Start your day with gratefulness. Before I get out of bed, every morning, I say ‘thank you.’ The simple-ness of living often gets taken for granted.

“But I’m drowning in debt. I have no friends. My family hates me.”

Even if it seems like you have nothing to be grateful for, there is always something. You can still breathe. You can still come up with ideas. You can still walk and eat and live.

In a previous post, I mentioned the importance of being grateful. You can check that out for more information.

Grateful-300x300

3) Never go to bed angry

I seldom get angry, but when it happens I make sure to deal with it immediately. Address it with the other and with yourself.

Your ego will not let it escape your thoughts. Cast your ego away. Allow those angry thoughts to float away into the wind.

Ask yourself, ‘how much does this matter?’

More often than not, it doesn’t.

Ending the day with anger sets the tone for your next day. Those thoughts fester in your sleep and you wake up with them, fresh in your head. Those thoughts will weigh you down.

Apologize or let it go completely. It’s not worth wasting your life over any problem.

For me, I know everything will be fine if I follow these consistently. And maybe, I can laugh, be grateful for the advice and shrug it off the next time someone tells me that I’m using the wrong fork.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Sipping on Hater-ade

I’ve decided that I want a beard for September (school time). Naturally, I have to start growing it now. My facial hair grows tremendously slow. I’ve been growing it since March and I think it looks great.

i-hate-you-made-by-swiix_00443412Why am I bringing this up? Well recently, someone made a comment that made me think. “That’s a disgusting beard. You look like Bin Laden.” It someone discouraged me but, regardless, I am keeping the beard.

No matter what you do in life, whether it has to do with work, school, or even your hobbies, you are going to run into haters. You are going to run into people that are going to put you down and try to hold you back from reaching your true potential.

They won’t understand what you’re doing or why you’re doing it and will attack you for it. They will make you feel like shit to the point that you start doubting yourself.

For a brief moment in time, I was actually contemplating shaving my beard. I stared in the mirror and thought about it. But why would I set myself back based on one persons’ comment.

You have to realize that nobody can make you feel terrible without your consent. You are in control of how you feel. Do not let these people hinder your progress.

You life is too important and valuable to let the naysayers get to you.

Haters Will Always Be There 

As long as you keep changing and improving your life there will be haters that will somehow try to hold you down. They want to keep you down at their level. They can’t bear to see you succeed or progress.

There really is nothing you can say or do to stop them from hating. Arguing with haters is like arguing with a brick wall. You will get nowhere. You cannot change another persons’ opinion unless they want to change first.

You just have to ignore them and move on. Nod and smile at them. In your head, acknowledge their comment and throw it away. Hold no bearing to it.

Of course it is always important to be open-minded and try to see things from a different perspective, if it is constructive criticism. But if it is just blatant malicious attacks, spare no mental energy on it.

The Argument

You have the power to determine how you feel every second of every day. Everyone gets haters, but the difference between winning and losing in this situation, is how you decide to handle it.

Arguing with a hater is giving the person too much credit. You are trying to validate or justify your standpoint. You do not need to justify your viewpoint with a hater.

You can’t have a logical debate with them because their hate is coming from an insecure, illogical place. And if you try to attack them back, it turns into a bigger argument that solves nothing, and in the end you still feel crappy.

In the end, what it comes to down to is this. There will be a lot of positive supportive people in your life. There will also be haters in your life. That is the sad truth and the harsh reality.

howtosellb2blovehate

Do not let these negative people consume you. Don’t let other peoples’ words and actions determine whom you are and what you’re going to do. Live for yourself. What people think about you is their reality, not yours.

I will continue to grow this beard until I have determined when I am done with it (if ever). How do you deal with the haters in your life? Leave a comment below, my readers and I would love to hear from you.

Be bold, be free and love on.