Life As An Orange

On frequent occasions throughout the day, we encounter situations that make us frustrated, angry and resentful.

During these times, we blame the other individuals or external forces. We feel they are the source of our ill feelings. They made us feel this way.

We often think, without these people in our lives, we’d be better off.

Oranges.

When you squeeze an orange, naturally orange juice comes out. Why does it come out? Because that is exactly what is housed inside that delicious rind.

Let us think of our bodies as individual little oranges.

When people take jabs at us, poke us and make us feel frustrated, resentful or angry, it isn’t them that make us feel those feelings.

Like the orange, we already hold those feelings inside ourselves. The jabs from the world accentuate the feelings we inherently possess.

We allow feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment to live deep within us and lay dormant until the world is able to poke it out of us.

So then, how do we remedy our internal feelings? How do we take charge of our thoughts, feelings and actions and explode with happiness rather than anger?

We’ve come up with a few techniques to train our body and mind, shedding away any ill feelings that lay dormant.

A) Cancel Rule

In our many life experiences, we have encountered many jabs and pokes. In most cases, these scenarios are largely unavoidable. Sometimes, the people we spend the most time with are the worst for us.

While we advocate ways to change our circumstances, there are alternate methods without drastically cutting people out of our lives.

In our next dicey encounter, let us remember the Cancel Rule. When someone takes a jab we must rapidly and repeatedly yell ‘cancel’ inside our heads.

We cannot let their words penetrate our fleshy rind.

We must train our brain to cancel out their negative thoughts. We must never internalize them or let them sit inside our bodies.

Allowing such a scenario only adds to our pot of ill feelings. Use the Cancel Rule as a method to avoid internalization.

B) Deep Breathing

Our brains chase the easiest method to any scenario. When we encounter a less-than-stellar situation, we often get flustered and our breathing gets shallow.

Shallow breathing is a reaction when we’re angry or frustrated. The primary muscles, which facilitate breathing—diaphragm, abdomen, chest, and neck—are tense which limits free-flowing unconscious breathing.

As our negative thoughts continue to circle around our heads, our breathing inadvertently becomes shorter and quicker, only increasing the ill feelings.

When the world pokes at us, let us stop and think of our breathing. Let us fill our bellies up fully and slowly till our angry orange juice subsides.

Live long enough, and we’ll encounter our share of tough times. That’s okay. We all experience this from time-to-time. Ill feelings are relatively natural within us.

But imagine if we could control our thoughts, feelings and actions? Imagine if we could truly harness our ability to choose happiness over anger.

Well, we can. We believe this goal is relatively simple to achieve.

Through some diligent actions and positive thoughts, we are able change our internal orange juice.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

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4 People We Must Avoid AT ALL COSTS.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

Well, I think it’s more like ten to fifteen. The ten to fifteen people we see the most have the greatest impact on us.

Surrounding ourselves with positive people changes our perceptions. As our social groups encourages, pushes and lifts us up, our own system does the same for them.

Conversely, toxic individuals are completely exhausting to be around. When we surround ourselves with negative people, it will take a toll on our mind and body.

Eventually it seeps in and consumes us. Slowly, we become complainers, judgers, gossipers, and victims.

The distractions and emotional baggage that toxic people bring into our lives are unnecessary obstacles that we must inevitably cross.

We all know a few toxic people – they might be our distant co-workers, family spouses, or our closest friends. Even a modicum of regular contact with these people influence our decisions and thought processes.

The sooner we remove them from our lives, the better. Here are four toxic individuals that we must avoid at all costs.

The Complainers

It seems that everyone has something to complain about. Even when life is completely amazing, these individuals find something to rant about – the weather, crime rates, global warming, etc.

Even for trivial issues, these individuals find something. It seems that they create problems when everything seems to be great, just to possess the right to complain.

As we consume others’ complaints, we forget how good our lives are and we begin to create problems out of thin air.

Avoid The Complainers at all costs.

The Judgers

Judgmental people will find a way to criticize anything and everything they come in contact with. They draw conclusions without understanding all the facts.

These individuals believe that they’re right in every situation. They feel like they have the right to impose their views on others.

No matter what we say to these individuals, nothing can be changed. Save your breath and your life.

Avoid The Judgers at all cost.

The Gossipers

People gossip because they feel insecure with themselves and their lives. They cannot separate fact from speculation and when facts twisted, wrong information is spread out, and peoples’ feelings get hurt.

Gossiping can quickly change a friendly environment into a hostile environment. As people begin to gossip to us, we should change the subject or ignore them completely.

We must ask ourselves, ‘do I want to partake in hurting someone’s feelings?’

The answer to that question should always be a resounding ‘no.’

Avoid The Gossipers at all cost.

The Victims

These individuals never take responsibility for their actions. They are constantly making excuses or blaming others for their mistakes and wrongdoings.

They feel like the world has a personal vendetta against them and choose to lie down and give up.

As these individuals experience further turmoil, it’s just more reason to play the damaged victim.

When you surround yourself with these people, you internalize a victim attitude. You begin to perceive the world as evil and never accept responsibility for your actions.

Avoid The Victims at all costs.

The Four

If any of these toxic individuals ring a bell, there is a high chance that you have one or more of these people in your life.

These four individuals consume our minds from the inside, out. As we constantly receive their messages, we start to identify with people.

When we turn into these people, we start to negatively impact those that close with us.

Pessimism breeds more pessimism.

However, the same can be said for optimism. As we surround ourselves with optimistic people, we, in turn, become optimistic. We spread our positive energy to those closest to us.

Pessimism and optimism are a choice. Which one do you choose to surround yourself with? Which one do you choose to spread to the rest of the world?

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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The Girl Across The Street

Yesterday, I hung out with an old friend. I haven’t seen her since February and it was a delight. Truthfully speaking, I had a huge crush on her.

We went on a few dates and things just fizzled out. Initially, I was devastated. Before seeing her, I had a fear that those feelings might resurface. I might be stuck in an emotional rut as soon as I saw her.

I think I’m growing up. I saw her and everything went well. Those feelings that I was afraid off – they resurfaced – I dealt with them.

Let Me Backtrack

I had a crush on her because she was pretty much everything I wanted. She embodied the qualities I held most dear, we have amazing conversations, and she is beautiful.

I am the type of person that will always hold feelings, deep inside, for the people I like. The feelings just hide away. When I saw her yesterday, those feelings came out guns-blazing, but they were manageable.

Girls have always occupied a huge portion of my mental and physical energy. I’ve never really had great luck in the whole relationship category. It has always been hard for me to let go of past relationships.

Call it love?

I don’t know what it was. I don’t really understand what love is. Have I felt it? Maybe once? Maybe I’m just convincing myself of love. Or maybe, just maybe, I did feel it?

The Girl Across the Street

I fell hard and fast. It hit me like a brick wall hit Will E. Coyote. From the moment I saw her I was captivated. She also embodied everything I ever wanted.

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We got our feelings out. For a while I thought it was ACTUALLY going to work. Long story, short, it didn’t.

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I was an emotional rollercoaster for about 3 hours. I decided that it couldn’t affect me. There are too many priorities.

There are too many important things to worry about.

A Limited Amount of Energy

Do you spend it worrying about girls? Bills? Gossip? Work drama? I spent it on a whole lot of nonsense. I squandered it away, day-by-day, wallowing in my own self-pity.

That was a huge waste of mental energy. If I knew what I know now, back when I was 16, my life would have been different. Then again, I am a stronger person because of my 16-year-old experiences.

It makes me feel like the perfect girl is somewhere out there. But also, it makes me feel like there isn’t just one. In fact, I know that there are at least two that are out there right now. I know because I met them already.

I feel a sense of ease with that thought. Sure, it didn’t work out. But it allows me to continue on with my life, knowing that somewhere out there, there are multiple perfect girls for me.

I know that I do not have to spend the mental energy wallowing when something does not work out. I know that I will be okay.

What do you choose to spend the energy on? You have a finite amount of energy every single day. I urge you to stop squandering it, like I have, and start improving your life.

Move forward for the all petty things taking over your life and spend that valuable energy on yourself. Use it to constantly and never-endingly improve.

For the first time, I experienced ‘love at first sight.’ Was it meant to be? I guess not. But it’s nice to know that it wasn’t the end of the world.

Be bold, be free, and love on.