Our Fears Are A Double-Edged Sword

I once watched a woman on Maury who was terrified of cotton balls. She would dream of a giant cotton ball man murdering her most nights.

She was so terrified that she hardly left the house. She succumbed to the fear and it consumed her entire life.

We all have fears. Some of us are terrified of spiders or heights and some fears are more rational than others.

My main fear is failure. I’m afraid of disappointing others, failing to accomplish my dreams and goals, and failing myself.

Failure will inevitably destroy us if we allow it. It has the power to paralyze our bodies and leave us broken and sedentary.

It makes us tremble, keeps us from leaping into new experiences and challenges. It debilitates our growth process and hinders our ability to learn.

These are my fears, and maybe if you experience the same ones, we can learn from them together.

A) Failure as a fellow human

Sometimes I am afraid that I am not enough for others. Sometimes I feel like I should do more, say more, and be more.

The thought of letting the people I love down feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to be more present, more appreciative and more loving.

Let us all aim to be stronger individuals towards others – friends, partners and strangers alike – and aim to impact each and every individual we encounter in a wholly positive manner.

B) Failure to pursue my passion

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never reach my goals. While these moments are seldom, they come rushing and almost overcome my entire being.

The thought of not reaching my potential feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to work harder, smarter and use my time wisely. We should never compromise our passion and life to pursue work that does not truly make us happy.

Let us all aim to pursue our passions, so our work-life and passions become intertwined into one sole entity.

Our energy and life is limited. Why should we spend one single moment not being completely content in our work life?

C) Failure as myself

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never be truly enough for myself. Sometimes insecurities resurface and it can be hard to wrap my head around it.

The thought of succumbing to my insecurities feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to battle the insecurities head on. Work through them one by one and leave them broken and battered on the floor.

Let us all cast away our insecurities in the successful attempt to grow into the strongest version of ourselves. Everyone has insecurities that resurface from time-to-time, but let us never allow time to wallow in them.

Fear as a Stepping-Stone

As debilitating as fear can be, it is completely necessary for us to grow and progress. Fear is an astounding motivator. It is our worst enemy, but it can also be our best friend.

When my fears of failure resurface, there are only two options: succumb and wallow or fight and grow.

The latter is more appealing than the former. Without our fears, we would never truly understand where our weak points lie and what we must do in order to grow. 

Even though the worst thing I can think of in life is failing others and myself, I am very grateful for all my fears. Without my fears, I would never truly understand the importance of presence, hard work, appreciativeness, passion and love.

However, while putting all this out in the universe, I wonder if there are others that fear the same things.

Or, maybe, all my fears are just as irrational as a giant cotton ball man murdering me.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Shia LaBeouf Says “Stop Giving Up!”

We love motivational videos with a passion. They are a guilty pleasure.

That is why we were ecstatic when we saw that Shia Labeouf had put out a motivational video.

It is to the point and we love it. One of the lines is a classic.

“If you are tired of starting over, stop giving up.”

So, we’re here to explore all the reasons that we might give up, and stop it from happening.

We Expect Results Too Fast

When we first start on a new venture we want everything to work out perfectly. In our mind’s eye we see the stars aligning and all of our dreams coming true overnight, but it never works that way.

The thing is, anything that comes fast, will go just as quickly. Even then, it isn’t what we are getting that is important, it is who we are becoming. And becoming something takes time.

If you aren’t where you want to be yet, it’s because you don’t deserve to be there yet. You haven’t put in the time, the effort, the persistence, or the blood, sweat and tears required. When you deserve the thing you are after, you’ll get it.

So don’t give up.

We Fear The Future

We are terrible predictors of the future.

Think of all the doomsday scenarios that have played out in your head throughout the past. How many of them ended in your life being ruined forever? Probably a lot of them. But right now look around, has your life actually been ruined forever, even once? Probably not.

If you are reading this right now that means that you have internet and probably food and shelter, so it’s safe to say that your doomsday scenarios never came true.

We Dwell On Mistakes

A mistake won’t become a regret unless we fail to learn from it.

That is what mistakes are for. We need to make mistakes so that we can learn and become better. Another word for a collection of mistakes is experience.

We Overwork Ourselves

The religion of hustle and bustle tells us that we have to work 24/7/365 if we want anything in life, but if we don’t have balance we will eventually give up. 

Always remember that there is no finish line. If we want to get in shape and we do all these crazy diets—never eating anything we enjoy and put ourselves through hell—what will happen once we reach our goal?

We will go off the crazy diets, lose all our progress and start again. There is no finish line, once we reach a goal it isn’t “happy ever after,” we have to maintain it. If we reach our goals through means that are not sustainable then we won’t be able to keep what we get.

We Fear Change

If I told you that in fifteen years, you, and your life, would be exactly the same as it is right now how would you feel? Probably pretty crappy. That sounds a little like a nightmare right?

So if that is the case then why are we so afraid of change!?

The fear of change is an immediate fear that we have to confront to conquer, but the fear of staying the same is gradual. The only difference is, when we realize that we are afraid of changing, we can do something about it. But by the time we realize that we’ve stayed the same, we can’t go back.

We Never Visualize What Is Possible

We don’t believe in ourselves, and the reason we don’t believe in ourselves is that we never visualize ourselves conquering our goals.

People say daydreaming is useless but all of the world’s greatest people daydreamed about greatness before they ever made it there. They imagined exactly how it would feel. They saw themselves accomplishing great feats and changing the world.

If we never visualize and put ourselves in that category, that caliber, then we will never believe in ourselves enough to make it. We will doubt ourselves and eventually give up.

Visualize yourself in your greatest state. Visualize the possibilities and don’t worry about the process. Most of the time you figure out the process as you go, but you have to believe that you can reach your goals if you are ever going to start.

So those are the most common reasons why people quit, and why we should never listen to them. Don’t let these fears and anxieties take over your life. If you quit before giving it your best shot, you’ll always regret it.

How To Deal With Regret

Sometimes I ask myself – “do you feel like you should be different? Or act differently? Or feel differently?”

I don’t know if everyone asks himself or herself the same questions. Maybe you can quell my thoughts in the comments section below.

Recently, I’ve come to a realization. Everything that I have been through – the ups, the downs, the struggles and turmoil and everything in between – have made me the person I am today.

Regret is insignificant. No matter how hard we try, at this very moment, nothing about the past can be undone.

Regret is backward thinking

When you look to the past for answers, you are fighting an uphill battle. You desperately struggle as you battle the ravaging tides and the harsh winds.

Eckhart Tolle believes your egoic won’t let the past go because it needs it to feel alive. Your egoic mind wants to feel significant so it latches onto the past.

It keeps you living and thinking backward. It holds you in a troubled state. Your relationships, your work, and worst of all, yourself, crumble as you’re suspended in ‘regret thought-processes.’

The more you dwell in the past, the stronger your egoic mind grows. Like a feral animal, the more meat you give, the more it wants.

Present is forward-thinking

This very moment is all we have left. This very moment is the only one that can be changed, cherished and adored.

Even as write this, moments pass. The less I regret, the less I dwell, the more seamlessly the present moment passes.

There is little time to regret. In this very moment, there is only time to be content.

Be grateful that you are alive and breathing. Be content with the ability to think clearly and feel wholly.

Any room for future thinking?

Future thinking will also ruin you. Future thinking is just as toxic as regret.

Currently the future does not matter. Even as you begin to say the word fu-ture that first syllable is forever lost in the past.

That syllable should be let go, just as the future should.

The Love Exercise

There is no room for regret in this moment. Instead, spend a little time just being. Spend some time appreciating the person you are – maybe it’s your hair, eyes, or your brain.

Or pat yourself on the back for a small win – maybe it’s your first day sticking to a new diet or maybe you made it an entire day without having a cigarette.

This is an exercise I frequently do to avoid regret. The idea occurred to me after reading Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant.

He was at the point of killing himself because of all the common pressures that plague us – lack of love, security, support and freedom – until one day he decided to look into the mirror and say “I love you” over and over again.

He cured himself through positive reinforcement. I find that the same works with regret. Spend time today, and every single day, to giving yourself trying the Love Exercise.

Soon you will regret less and your egoic mind will detach. You will begin to love the person you are. You will begin to appreciate the present moment.

I wish nothing but amazing vibes to all our readers. I know whatever plagues you – whether regret, pain, or the future – you will overcome it.

And if you need a little push along the way, 2HelpfulGuys is here for anything.

Until next time my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

1 Daunting Method To Create a Stronger YOU

I have a confession to make.

This is something that we often feel, but seldom say. It is an inevitable part of life and something that can be our greatest motivator or our greatest hindrance.

I am afraid.

I am moving out on Friday and whilst crunching financial figures and assessing the rest of my life, everything is overwhelming.

The adult world seems daunting. Until now, I have been able to lean on my parents for love and support. Now I have to chase it using my own two feet.

Thoughts encircle my head, weighing down my consciousness, feelings and, in turn, governing my actions.

What if I fail? What if I go broke? What if I can’t manage or cope? What if something bad happens? 

I am afraid of it all.

However, inevitably, it is our choice to pursue a solitary path. One leads into a gloomy shadowed forest like something out of Lemony Snicket, while the other offers sunshine and rabbits, haphazardly prancing around lively shrubbery.

Feelings of insecurity are normal and should be welcomed. They possess the key to growth and, if we allow, can push us to the next phase of our lives. However, it can also paralyze us, until time itself eventually takes us.

The choice is ours.

Day-to-day, month-to-month and year-to-year, we are confronted with situations in which fear can take a firm grasp.

Maybe you want to start a business, but the fear of failure is overwhelming. Maybe you want to ask that person out, but you’re afraid of rejection. Maybe you want to quit your job, but you’re scared of the uncertain future.

I have realized in my short life that the feelings of fear, insecurity and uncertainty serve only one purpose – to push you, to challenge you and, inevitably, to grow you into the stronger version of yourself, mentally and physically.

When I am faced with a challenge, I have to take the leap – within sound reason.

The fear of failure, rejection and uncertainty pales in comparison when pondering the dreaded ‘what-if?’

Absolutely nothing can come from ‘what-if?’ There is no tangible answer to this question.

“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

No matter how bad the outcome, know at the very least, you will still be alive.

Today and everyday, I implore you to face your demons, your fears, your uncertainties, and all the judgmental onlookers.

Face your challenges, hold your head high, and pursue the strongest version of yourself. Limit the possibility of asking ‘what-if’ because those dreaded words will eat you up from the inside, out.

I’ve acknowledged these feelings within myself. But, it feels relieving to finalize verbalize it. A sense of ease floods into my being when I put it out to the masses.

Here at 2HelpfulGuys we try our earnest to help each and everyone in need through our words, videos and books.

Today, my dear readers, you have helped me. From the deepest and warmest portion of my heart, thank you.

Till next time,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Expand Your Comfort Zone Today

Looking back, all the valuable skills I ever learned required a phase of discomfort. The first time you try something new you have no idea what you are doing and that would make anyone uncomfortable.

I remember the first day I did door to door sales. While walking up to the first house that I was going to knock on, I felt like I was going to throw up or die; whichever came first.

But, here I am today. After knocking on countless doors and talking to thousands of people I can do it without breaking a sweat. It’s made me a more outgoing person and has expanded my comfort zone so that I am comfortable in more social situations than ever before.

That’s the way your comfort zone works. You want to stay in it as much as possible, but the only way you can possibly grow as a person is to venture outside of it. Once you’ve spent enough time outside your comfort zone, it grows to include that newly explored territory.

There is an amazing sense of accomplishment in the moment when you conquer something outside your comfort zone.

Leroy and I have been writing articles for 2HelpfulGuys for quite a while, but when we first started we were petrified. Now we are releasing our first book and I’m scared again, I have no idea if it will be received well.

But we know that pushing outside our comfort zone will make us stronger, so we keep pushing.

If you want to take your first steps outside of your comfort zone, here are some things that you can try.

Contact A Celebrity You Admire.

We tend to feel like there is some sort of invisible wall between us and the people we look up. The idea of interacting with them might seem a little far-fetched and make us uncomfortable. If that is the case for you, you have to give it a try.

I tweeted at my favourite author, James Altucher, and not only did he answer back, he followed me!

It might not seem like a very big deal but trust me, when you accomplish something like this you will feel like the whole world is in your reach. Your comfort zone will expand and you will believe no one is too big to contact.

Who knows, maybe one day you end up in a conversation with a CEO that might change your life?

Start Conversations With Strangers.

If there is anything that makes people uncomfortable, it’s striking up a conversation with someone in public. As a society it seems too uncomfortable to even sit beside someone on the bus, let alone have a conversation with them!

So the next time you are in public, step outside that comfort barrier and try talking to someone random.

Do this on a bus, in a mall, at the grocery store or wherever you see people in public. I guarantee that once you do it a few times, your comfort zone will grow and you will be able to do it without a problem.

Force Yourself To Face A Fear.

If there is a one-step method to getting out of your comfort zone, this is it.

Like most people, I used to be afraid of public speaking. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you view it, I was asked to speak at a conference when I was 13.

I was asked to speak about my blood disorder and how it affected me. The very idea of getting up on stage and talking about my personal struggles with hundreds of people seemed like a nightmare to me. But I did it regardless.

I remember my eyes watering up so much that I couldn’t see the page, and my legs felt like rusty machinery that needed to be oiled.

After this experience I realized that I loved being on stage and I started to take drama classes. Now I am a lot more comfortable on stage in front of people. Hopefully I’ll be able to speak in front of a larger crowd one day and expand my comfort zone even further.

Being uncomfortable is well, uncomfortable. So it makes sense that we want to stay inside that zone where we feel at home. We don’t have to be nervous, risk messing up or getting embarrassed. But we also don’t grow.

That is why you need to step outside your comfort zone as often as possible. When you become comfortable with feelings of discomfort, you’ll be able to accomplish anything.

Expand your comfort zone as large as you possibly can and conquer your world.