Our Fears Are A Double-Edged Sword

I once watched a woman on Maury who was terrified of cotton balls. She would dream of a giant cotton ball man murdering her most nights.

She was so terrified that she hardly left the house. She succumbed to the fear and it consumed her entire life.

We all have fears. Some of us are terrified of spiders or heights and some fears are more rational than others.

My main fear is failure. I’m afraid of disappointing others, failing to accomplish my dreams and goals, and failing myself.

Failure will inevitably destroy us if we allow it. It has the power to paralyze our bodies and leave us broken and sedentary.

It makes us tremble, keeps us from leaping into new experiences and challenges. It debilitates our growth process and hinders our ability to learn.

These are my fears, and maybe if you experience the same ones, we can learn from them together.

A) Failure as a fellow human

Sometimes I am afraid that I am not enough for others. Sometimes I feel like I should do more, say more, and be more.

The thought of letting the people I love down feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to be more present, more appreciative and more loving.

Let us all aim to be stronger individuals towards others – friends, partners and strangers alike – and aim to impact each and every individual we encounter in a wholly positive manner.

B) Failure to pursue my passion

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never reach my goals. While these moments are seldom, they come rushing and almost overcome my entire being.

The thought of not reaching my potential feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to work harder, smarter and use my time wisely. We should never compromise our passion and life to pursue work that does not truly make us happy.

Let us all aim to pursue our passions, so our work-life and passions become intertwined into one sole entity.

Our energy and life is limited. Why should we spend one single moment not being completely content in our work life?

C) Failure as myself

Sometimes I am afraid that I will never be truly enough for myself. Sometimes insecurities resurface and it can be hard to wrap my head around it.

The thought of succumbing to my insecurities feels soul crushing.

With this thought in the forefront of my mind, I aim to battle the insecurities head on. Work through them one by one and leave them broken and battered on the floor.

Let us all cast away our insecurities in the successful attempt to grow into the strongest version of ourselves. Everyone has insecurities that resurface from time-to-time, but let us never allow time to wallow in them.

Fear as a Stepping-Stone

As debilitating as fear can be, it is completely necessary for us to grow and progress. Fear is an astounding motivator. It is our worst enemy, but it can also be our best friend.

When my fears of failure resurface, there are only two options: succumb and wallow or fight and grow.

The latter is more appealing than the former. Without our fears, we would never truly understand where our weak points lie and what we must do in order to grow. 

Even though the worst thing I can think of in life is failing others and myself, I am very grateful for all my fears. Without my fears, I would never truly understand the importance of presence, hard work, appreciativeness, passion and love.

However, while putting all this out in the universe, I wonder if there are others that fear the same things.

Or, maybe, all my fears are just as irrational as a giant cotton ball man murdering me.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Recharge Your Life Through A Quote

I tend to stay away from fiction novels. I can’t visualize what’s happening. I don’t have a very active imagination.

Recently someone recommended Coelho’s The Alchemist. I haven’t been able to put it down. This novel is a masterpiece. Every single page has at least one quote that resonates with me.

How is it that Coelho can create something, where everything he writes is a quote? I don’t think anyone is quoting us anytime soon.

Quotes can be incredibly powerful for our lives. They are able to inspire, change, and challenge us.

Quotes can inspire us.

They’re able to make us garner all our energy toward a singular goal. They’re able to make us fight for something we believe in. 

“There is only one way to learn. It’s through action. Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.”

Only through diligent consistent action can we learn and improve. Let us strive to be our best selves.

Within us lies unimaginable strength and will, if we only unlocked it. Let us have a positive unshakeable mindset, as we chase to be the strongest version of ourselves.

Quotes can change us.

They are able to alter our mindsets and allow us to view life in a different perspective.

“At a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and ours lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie”

We’re told that fate and luck governs our lives. We’re told we can’t help what’s happening to us and ‘everything happens for a reason.’

However, most often than not, we can change. We can alter our lives and regain our personal freedom. We possess the ability to decide where our passion lies and which road to walk.

Quotes can challenge us.

They are able to test our strength and willpower. They are able push us to our limits. All the personal growth we’ve experienced as a human being has been a result of a real challenge.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

Before, 2HelpfulGuys, we’ve failed at everything. We started organizations that tanked and projects that flopped. But that fear of failure never stopped us.

Each time we failed, we’d try something else. Everyone possesses the power of perseverance – the power to push forward to the very end despite failure.

Failure is necessary.

But the fear of failure prevents us from ever starting. We foresee the future and all the horrible things before we even take our first step. We get scared and run away.

In achieving our dreams, we must overcome the fear of failure. We possess the power to look beyond failure and persevere.

It is these moments that our concentration was galvanized, our best efforts called upon, and our strength, will and courage tested.

Quotes have the ability to impact our lives. We read quotes every single day for an inspirational recharge or a motivational boost. We can place ourselves in the author’s mindset and experience their feelings.

When we allow the quote to set within us, it changes the way we perceive life. We’re more open, engaged, present and fulfilled.

I wonder if our work has impacted anyone out there yet. I doubt it. But maybe someday, someone will read something we write, and it will resonate with them as much as The Alchemist has resonated with me.

Reading this novel has made me want to delve into other fictitious works. So if anyone has any recommendations, feel free to leave a comment.

As always, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free and love on.

1 Daunting Method To Create a Stronger YOU

I have a confession to make.

This is something that we often feel, but seldom say. It is an inevitable part of life and something that can be our greatest motivator or our greatest hindrance.

I am afraid.

I am moving out on Friday and whilst crunching financial figures and assessing the rest of my life, everything is overwhelming.

The adult world seems daunting. Until now, I have been able to lean on my parents for love and support. Now I have to chase it using my own two feet.

Thoughts encircle my head, weighing down my consciousness, feelings and, in turn, governing my actions.

What if I fail? What if I go broke? What if I can’t manage or cope? What if something bad happens? 

I am afraid of it all.

However, inevitably, it is our choice to pursue a solitary path. One leads into a gloomy shadowed forest like something out of Lemony Snicket, while the other offers sunshine and rabbits, haphazardly prancing around lively shrubbery.

Feelings of insecurity are normal and should be welcomed. They possess the key to growth and, if we allow, can push us to the next phase of our lives. However, it can also paralyze us, until time itself eventually takes us.

The choice is ours.

Day-to-day, month-to-month and year-to-year, we are confronted with situations in which fear can take a firm grasp.

Maybe you want to start a business, but the fear of failure is overwhelming. Maybe you want to ask that person out, but you’re afraid of rejection. Maybe you want to quit your job, but you’re scared of the uncertain future.

I have realized in my short life that the feelings of fear, insecurity and uncertainty serve only one purpose – to push you, to challenge you and, inevitably, to grow you into the stronger version of yourself, mentally and physically.

When I am faced with a challenge, I have to take the leap – within sound reason.

The fear of failure, rejection and uncertainty pales in comparison when pondering the dreaded ‘what-if?’

Absolutely nothing can come from ‘what-if?’ There is no tangible answer to this question.

“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

No matter how bad the outcome, know at the very least, you will still be alive.

Today and everyday, I implore you to face your demons, your fears, your uncertainties, and all the judgmental onlookers.

Face your challenges, hold your head high, and pursue the strongest version of yourself. Limit the possibility of asking ‘what-if’ because those dreaded words will eat you up from the inside, out.

I’ve acknowledged these feelings within myself. But, it feels relieving to finalize verbalize it. A sense of ease floods into my being when I put it out to the masses.

Here at 2HelpfulGuys we try our earnest to help each and everyone in need through our words, videos and books.

Today, my dear readers, you have helped me. From the deepest and warmest portion of my heart, thank you.

Till next time,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

How To Stop Internalizing Your Failures

I completely forgot to write an article for today. I woke up this morning, wrote for something else and midway through the day, I realized it was Wednesday. I failed.

I hate feeling like my writing is rushed because I like to think and really feel my writing. So instead, I thought I going to post a question from our recent book.

“Wait, what? You wrote a book?” – Everyone

Recently, Steven and I wrote a book called “Not So Frequently Asked Questions.” If you haven’t heard of it, it’s because clearly we’re just writers and failed at marketing. We were so focused on the content and quality of the book that we forgot to build anticipation. Here is one question from our new book:

“How do I stop internalizing failure and beating myself up? I have this problem. I internalize everything! If I fail at something even if I worked hard at it and even if some things were out of my control, I get really down on myself for a long time. As this happens I doubt my capabilities, motivation, intelligence etc. and blame myself for every failure in my life. I try to not be like this but it’s just in my nature.” – Angela

Dear Angela,

I’ve personally failed at a lot of things throughout my short life. I’ve failed school courses, businesses, writing, and worst of all, people. I’ve gotten down on myself. It’s hard to pick up and start something knowing all my past failures.

But through all my failures, there is always one thing that stands out. Failures are just another facet of life. Everyone fails. The majority of people, including myself, share your position, so take comfort in that.

There are a few things that I’ve figured out along the way to stop internalizing my failures. It begins and ends with your perspective. If you change the way you perceive failure, you alter how it impacts you.

Failure is okay

You can learn valuable life lessons from every failure. Without them, there wouldn’t be lessons and without lessons, there wouldn’t be successes. Don’t let your defeats be in vain. Learn, progress and strive for something better.

I’ve realized that failures are significantly more common than successes. Life is a series of disappointments peppered with miniature successes. Even the most accomplished person has had more failures than successes.

There’s so much we can learn from our defeats. The moment we see them as opportunities rather than embarrassments, we no longer fear encountering them. Welcome your failures with open arms. Appreciate your failures for what they are: an integral part of building a better you.

Don’t be afraid of disappointment

It is interesting that failure is something everyone experiences; yet most people are afraid of it. They are afraid of screwing up or disappointing someone, or worse, themselves. Sometimes I am afraid too, but we have to rise above these fears.

If you play it safe and stay in your comfort zone, your life will be a basket full of regrets. You will have more regrets about things you didn’t do rather than things you did and failed at. You will regret not allowing yourself to fail more.

When I started working out, I was timid. I was afraid of what people might think. I couldn’t get over the hump of the judgmental stares. I limited myself to certain activities to avoid ridicule.

I was afraid to try new things because people would laugh if I failed. In most cases, your failures only matter to you. In the brevity of human life, failure does not matter.

Failure is necessary in order to succeed

You must fail consistently, for long periods of time. Falling flat on your face is the best motivator. When we started the YouTube channel, I failed consistently. I still fail consistently. Steven is a good actor and compared to him, I’m a peanut.

I made the same mistakes over and over again. I couldn’t wrap my head around certain lines. My bloopers were almost endless as I struggled to achieve a few good takes.

But as I made the same mistakes repeatedly, I slowly learned. Through failures you slowly gain and hone abilities, one at a time. Use each failure as a plank of wood; eventually building a bridge that leads to your goals.

We often get wrapped up in past thinking. The thoughts hinder us from reaching our full potential. It is a barrier designed to prevent you from achieving great things. It prevents you from moving forward.

I hold on to certain aspects of the past, which prevents me from progressing. But in the end, never doubt your capabilities and never doubt the power of failure.

This is just one question out of the nineteen others in the book. I consider my goal achieved if I can help just one person. The value in this book will bring me closer to that goal, but more importantly, it will help you.

I’m sorry again. I promise I will make it up to all of you next week with something spectacular. Until then,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

How To Push Through Obstacles

When I moved out of my parents house this year, it was a scary process. My end goal was to live on my own and start to manage my own life, but every step of the way I faced obstacles I didn’t anticipate.

It had to be in our budget, it had to allow pets and it had to be close enough to all three of our work places.

After painstaking efforts to find somewhere that met all the criteria we had to gather all of our information and convince the landlords that we were the best tenants.

Finally we got the place and moved in, I thought it was all sunshine from there.

But boy was I wrong.

We had trouble getting the internet working, paying bills for the first time, figuring out groceries and a hundred other obstacles. To this day at least one house related obstacle pops up per week.

Right now, here at 2HelpfulGuys, we are in the middle of writing a book. I can already imagine the hundreds of hurdles that we are going to have to conquer.

Nothing you do will ever come without an obstacle or two so here are my tips to help you push through them and accomplish your goals.

Obstacles are a part of life.

The first thing that will help you push through these pesky obstacles is realizing that obstacles are unavoidable.

They are going to pop up, you can’t stop it. Even if you anticipate as many obstacles as you can, you are still going to run into a few nasty surprises along the way.

For your own sanity, it’s best that you become friends with obstacles.

Use obstacles to help you improve.

By definition an obstacle will help you improve and grow. If you didn’t need to grow to get past the obstacle, then it wouldn’t be an obstacle. It would just be another walk in the park.

When you realize that every obstacle matures your abilities and your drive, you will begin to become excited to face them.

Relish the opportunity to conquer something. It will only lead to more victories.

Break down your obstacles.

When you first encounter an obstacle it is almost always daunting. When you see a mountain from far away you think to yourself “It must be impossible to climb to the top! Look how high it is!”

But when you get closer you start to see the individual paths you can hike. You see it broken down into details that are easier to conquer one by one.

Do this with every obstacle you face. Break it down into small bite size pieces and start chewing.

Never give up.

Some people say Edison tried up to ten thousand different prototypes for the light bulb. Even though the first nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine didn’t work, he refuse to say that he ever failed.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
-Thomas Edison

This is the way you need to think. Every time you try something that doesn’t work you are getting closer to finding what does work.

I’ve learned that nothing you try will ever work the first time. Or maybe you’re lucky and you can get a hole in one.
I never can.

Learning to be okay with being wrong is the most important skill you will ever gain.

Keep being wrong until you find what is right. Just make sure you don’t give up.

As always, I’ll see you next Friday.

With Love,
Steven Farquharson, 2HelpfulGuys