3 Terrible Ways Self-Sabotage Ruins Our Success

When Steven and I first started 2HelpfulGuys, we didn’t have a vision. We didn’t even have an idea.

We knew we wanted to help people in some way. We wanted to impact peoples’ lives through our articles and cheesy videos.

We couldn’t start anything until we had a great name behind us. We sat there for hours trying to come up with one.

Steven and I stared at my laptop screen, then back at each other, then back at the laptop screen. We were shouting out random synonyms for the words like ‘happy’ and ‘life’ and ‘positive.’

Nothing really stuck, except us. We were stuck.

Be honest now, how often do you sabotage yourself?

For most people, it’s almost daily. We have dreams at night that make us ponder incredible possibilities for the future. But as the morning sun rises we let our dreams die in the daylight.

We wake up and carry on with our monotonous lives because of self-sabotage. We’re afraid of what might be. We’re afraid of our seemingly impossible challenges.

We stay in our secure little 9-5 bubbles, despite the endless unhappiness.

Self-sabotage ruins our dreams, and in turn, us.

When Steven and I ask people why they don’t pursue their dreams, we receive the same three excuses. It is the same excuses that we once had when we started 2HelpfulGuys.

1) I don’t know how?

No one begins an endeavour knowing exactly how to do it. Everything is one giant trial and error process.

We filmed out first YouTube video on my terrible laptop camera. It barely worked and when it did, I couldn’t find the file. Worse, when we tried to upload it, the video didn’t work.

‘This file is the wrong format.’ Those words still haunt my dreams.

Through all the struggles, we figured it out. How? There’s one word that opens up our entire world.

“Google.”

If you can’t find it on Google, find a free book on Amazon. If it’s not on Amazon, find a volunteer on Meetup.com. Information is more accessible now than any other point in history, and most of it is completely free.

Use it to your advantage and learn all the applicable skills you need to further your dream.

The Internet is a beautiful place filled with useful information, if we can just tear ourselves away from Facebook, memes and cat pictures.

2) There just isn’t enough time in the day

I’m sure we can all agree that we share the same amount of time in any given day. No one has developed a magical potion or time machine that changes it.

This comes down to priorities. This comes to down to personal motivation and sheer diligence. If you have a goal, dedicate time each day to complete it.

Schedule time every single day and don’t end the day without furthering yourself in some small, even insignificant, way.

If you can move closer to your goal by just 1% each week through reading, writing or learning, you’ll be more than halfway by the end of the year.

That’s doable, right? One measly percent?

3) I need ______ to be successful

Fill in the blank.

Everyone believes they lack something important before they can reach their dream. Whether it is money, knowledge or any other blank in our personal book of excuses, we are more than comfortable abusing it.

In truth, there isn’t anything lacking. All you need is you. You are more than enough. Everything great started with one person. It took one person to come up with an idea and build something great.

Only then, did people notice and start to help.

Following your dreams requires only your complete and undivided attention and effort. Without you, nothing is possible.

So today and every day, take the plunge. Cast away your excuses and start to take action.

Let us use all the free resources possible, manage our time better, and believe in our abilities.

And, as far as being stuck on the name, it didn’t matter.

We were just 2 guys trying to be helpful.

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Dreams-3

Two Little Letters That WILL Change Your Life

Today is my third day of the last semester of my school career. If you have been with us since the beginning, you know of my complete disdain for school.

You’ve probably read some of our earlier articles on perseverance and living for yourself. With the culmination of school becoming an approaching reality, my body is becoming more energized, happier, and fulfilled.

Finally I can pursue my dreams, my goals and my aspirations.

The last four years have felt like someone has been controlling my life. I feel like a helpless puppet, played with and strung along this path. I’m not pointing fingers, but I am here because someone insisted I get an education.

Maybe you don’t want to go to school, but someone is forcing you

In the ever-changing world, school has become less of a requirement. Unless you hope to become a doctor or lawyer, school is becoming increasingly pointless.

But they keep forcing their opinions on you. They keep insisting you get a quality education, but shrug the horrendous amount of debt that looms over your head.

Maybe you want to leave your job, but you feel obligated to stay

You have obligations to your co-workers, family and friends. They are controlling you, keeping you in the same place, demanding your attention and valuable life.

Because of your obligations, you can’t see a way out. You decide to stay, despite your better judgment, living someone else’s expectations for your life. You feel trapped in the same place, stuck for perpetuity.

Maybe you want to learn something, but people beat you down

You crave a new skill, but people say, ‘That’s a far-fetched idea. You’ll never make it.’ You absorb this negative feedback and internalize it.

You give up your zest for learning or trying because others have said you couldn’t do it. Before long, you’re stuck, again, in your cyclical life.

When I wanted to learn politics, I faced opposition from all sides. I wanted to change the world positively. Most people told me I was crazy, that it would never work. I gave up.

The Solution is a Powerful Two-Letter Word

The word no is one of the simplest words in the English language, but it possesses significant power. We don’t exercise no as often as we’d like. We might disappoint people.

But your sanity and life depends on those two little letters. When you say yes to someone, you inherit all of their expectations, requirements and burdens. We can’t solve all the problems of the world without taking care of ourselves first.

Say no when someone thinks they know you better than you. Say no to people who feel like school is the best decision for your life.

Of course, we have those obligations to our families. But say no, by finding another solution while you’re in your current job. Say no to the slavery of your 9-5 if it doesn’t satisfy you. Seek solutions.

Say no to negative people and dream crushers. Say no to people that think you’re crazy, stupid, or foolhardy.

Maybe if I rejected all the dream-crushers during my political phase, I could have changed the world. But I gave up because I forgot to say no. But, then again, I’m trying to change the world now. This time, in a different way.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Endless Progression

Today was the first day at school. I was sitting in the lecture hall and I was looking at my older articles for inspiration to write about. I just couldn’t think of a topic.

Clearly, I was not paying attention to the lecture. I do not enjoy school, but that’s neither here nor there.

Earlier in my writing ‘career,’ I wrote an article untitled “The Summer Bucket List.” This article outlined everything I wanted to achieve by the end of the summer.

In it I mentioned skydiving, lavish trips to Vegas and NYC, and the ‘Go’ Game, among many other things.

As I was looking at this list, I realized that I hadn’t achieved any of it. I was a total failure. I set a bunch of goals and didn’t accomplish any of them. It was disheartening.

But, I had done other things. And while they weren’t listed goals, they were important. They helped me grow in more ways than one. I am a different person because of them.

For example, I started a business with my mother selling Indian sauces. That was a huge accomplishment. I started learning Spanish. That was a huge accomplishment. I became more focused, serious (in terms of life), and confident. That was a huge accomplishment.

Some things can be overlooked

Goals are just goals. Yes, it is incredibly important to have concise goals. But some things can be overlooked. Sure, I didn’t skydive. But really, if I did, would it have changed me?

Sure I didn’t go to NYC and Vegas. But, if I did, would I have made me any different? I feel like I would have had a lot of fun, been in the hole a few thousand dollars, and continued the same path that I was on.

I wasn’t able to finish the summer bucket list. That’s okay. I am still progressing, still changing, and still improving.

Two Sides to Every Coin

Life is interesting. There are literally two (or more) ways to deal with every situation. There is never one route to consider. I love that about life.

I could have looked at my incomplete list and been completely shattered. I could have wallowed in my own failures and stayed sedentary. There is no progress in wallowing. There is only self-loathing and self-pity.

That route leads to nowhere. You continue to dwell in the past mistakes and failures and hinders your ability to move forward, to look at the other routes.

For me, I’ve realized that there are two options: an optimistic and a pessimistic option. I opt for the optimistic approach. I just feel overall better when doing so.

Inadvertently, I realized an incredible lesson today. Goals are incredibly important. It can be the difference in achieving and not achieving something. They are necessary to progressing, developing, and growing.

As long as you are progressing in one-way or another, you’re doing great. Sedentary behavior produces a sedentary self. Always look for a new way to progress, a new way to improve.

But equally as important in progressing, is the recognition of self. Next time you set a goal for yourself and don’t complete it, do not wallow.

Use it as a stepping-stone to complete at a later date. Lastly, recognize that it is not the end of the world. You are still you. You are still amazing. You are still beautiful. And you are still progressing.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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