4 People We Must Avoid AT ALL COSTS.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

Well, I think it’s more like ten to fifteen. The ten to fifteen people we see the most have the greatest impact on us.

Surrounding ourselves with positive people changes our perceptions. As our social groups encourages, pushes and lifts us up, our own system does the same for them.

Conversely, toxic individuals are completely exhausting to be around. When we surround ourselves with negative people, it will take a toll on our mind and body.

Eventually it seeps in and consumes us. Slowly, we become complainers, judgers, gossipers, and victims.

The distractions and emotional baggage that toxic people bring into our lives are unnecessary obstacles that we must inevitably cross.

We all know a few toxic people – they might be our distant co-workers, family spouses, or our closest friends. Even a modicum of regular contact with these people influence our decisions and thought processes.

The sooner we remove them from our lives, the better. Here are four toxic individuals that we must avoid at all costs.

The Complainers

It seems that everyone has something to complain about. Even when life is completely amazing, these individuals find something to rant about – the weather, crime rates, global warming, etc.

Even for trivial issues, these individuals find something. It seems that they create problems when everything seems to be great, just to possess the right to complain.

As we consume others’ complaints, we forget how good our lives are and we begin to create problems out of thin air.

Avoid The Complainers at all costs.

The Judgers

Judgmental people will find a way to criticize anything and everything they come in contact with. They draw conclusions without understanding all the facts.

These individuals believe that they’re right in every situation. They feel like they have the right to impose their views on others.

No matter what we say to these individuals, nothing can be changed. Save your breath and your life.

Avoid The Judgers at all cost.

The Gossipers

People gossip because they feel insecure with themselves and their lives. They cannot separate fact from speculation and when facts twisted, wrong information is spread out, and peoples’ feelings get hurt.

Gossiping can quickly change a friendly environment into a hostile environment. As people begin to gossip to us, we should change the subject or ignore them completely.

We must ask ourselves, ‘do I want to partake in hurting someone’s feelings?’

The answer to that question should always be a resounding ‘no.’

Avoid The Gossipers at all cost.

The Victims

These individuals never take responsibility for their actions. They are constantly making excuses or blaming others for their mistakes and wrongdoings.

They feel like the world has a personal vendetta against them and choose to lie down and give up.

As these individuals experience further turmoil, it’s just more reason to play the damaged victim.

When you surround yourself with these people, you internalize a victim attitude. You begin to perceive the world as evil and never accept responsibility for your actions.

Avoid The Victims at all costs.

The Four

If any of these toxic individuals ring a bell, there is a high chance that you have one or more of these people in your life.

These four individuals consume our minds from the inside, out. As we constantly receive their messages, we start to identify with people.

When we turn into these people, we start to negatively impact those that close with us.

Pessimism breeds more pessimism.

However, the same can be said for optimism. As we surround ourselves with optimistic people, we, in turn, become optimistic. We spread our positive energy to those closest to us.

Pessimism and optimism are a choice. Which one do you choose to surround yourself with? Which one do you choose to spread to the rest of the world?

Until next time, my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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1 Indisputable Way To Overcome Bad Days

We all have bad days. They are inevitable. Sometimes they are life-changing and devastating. In my last article, I said that change is necessary. Change is important for personal growth.

It is necessary because life wants to test your limits. It pushes you to your limits. And in that ‘make it or break it’ situation is where real growth occurs.

That being said, you still have to overcome the bad day. How do you conquer something when everything around you collapses and just nothing goes your way?

Well, yesterday my laptop died. Just two weeks before one of the biggest changes in my life, it dies and extra expenses occurred. But, worst of all, there goes all my data.

All my articles, journals, school assignments, and ideas, gone.

Poof.

Note to self: Excessively back-up everything from now on.

I wouldn’t find out for five hours if anything could be recovered. Waiting five hours were like standing on upright needles, holding a pink elephant above my head.

I screamed and cried. “Why does this always happen to me?” I affirmed. I even prayed.

I lost everything.

But then, I stopped. I dug inside myself. I began to come to terms with it. I started to rationalize.

Did I really lose everything? Well, no. I’m still here. I’m still breathing, walking, thinking, and feeling. To me, that is a miracle.

You are always alive

No matter how bad the situation is, if you are able to share your experience, thoughts and feelings with anyone, even yourself, there is still something to cling on to.

I found solace in that thought.

Data is nothing when it’s compared to your own life, your own humanity. In fact, very few things are considered devastating when you compare it your existence.

Next time something dramatic happens, sit and think:

“Well, what else? Can I breathe, feel, and think? Can I walk? Can I depend on someone? Am I able to come up with ideas? Can I be grateful?”

If you can say a resounding ‘yes!’ to even one of those, then you cannot be shaken.

“I cannot be thrown off the block during this challenge. This bad day does not define who I am. It will not throw me off my course.”

That is my mantra. Try it. Repeat it yourself out loud, over and over again.

When something devastating occurs, there is nothing that can pull you out but yourself. Social circles, family and prayer will definitely help, but in the end, it lies within you.

You possess the unbridled power to change how you feel and how you react to any given situation. Introspection can do wonders when you’re having a terrible day.

Nothing is as bad as it seems when you compare it to your humanity.

As for my data, I recovered it and, through it all, I didn’t lose my sanity standing on upright needles, holding a pink elephant above my head.

Until next week my beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

1 Painless Tip You Need To Adjust With Sudden Change

…And my university is on strike. That’s great! That’s exactly what I needed.

-Insert my very sarcastic face here-

I don’t know how long this will hold out for, but the last time it lasted four months.

I was supposed to finish and graduate school in March, move out and start my life. I was supposed to focus on 2HelpfulGuys and write more, make more videos, and really start to focus on helping people.

I was supposed to do a lot of things, but it all hinged on school ending. Now everything is ruined. Everything is going to spiral and go downhill.

But wait, maybe it isn’t as bad as I think it is. I wrote previously that there is a positive in every situation. Maybe there is a glimmer of light somewhere in this.

I’ve discovered it over the course of the last two days. It was a valuable lesson that I needed to learn and, hopefully, you can learn as well.

Sometimes Strikes Happen

That’s just the fact of the matter. It can’t be avoided and it can’t be altered. Sometimes, things just don’t pan out the way you want.

I’ve governed the last 8 months of my life with a regimented strict routine. Sometimes there were little blips. Every time that happened, I whined a little bit.

“Oh man. I can’t believe X, Y, and Z just happened. Now my entire schedule is ruined.” 

I ruined my own day, all by myself. But in reality, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Everything carried on. I was okay. I was alive. I was still breathing.

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. Sometimes life wants to see how you work under pressure. Life wants you to grow and transform, with each pitch it dishes out.

Change is meant to keep you on your toes, to keep you nimble and ready. Acknowledge the change as ‘good’ and carry on.

When is Change Bad?

My change was a strike, and that’s manageable. But sometimes, life throws you a huge life-changing curveball.

Someone close to you passes away, you may lose your job suddenly, or you fail your family, or worse, yourself.

It’s easy to say, “just make some lemonade, when life hands you lemons.” However, fact of the matter, we all cope differently, but we sometimes we just can’t make lemonade.

Sometimes the pressures of life closes you in this tiny inescapable box and all you want to do is have just one breathe of fresh air.

We’ve all been there. I know I have.

Take a break from it all. Allow yourself to be upset and remorseful. We are not emotionless automatons. Those emotions are natural and you should experience them.

Look inward, deep inside yourself and you will find solace. Then, look outward, to your support system and you will find solace.

We all share these bad life-changing curveballs. Confide in someone. People naturally want to help each other, for the plain reason that we, ourselves, were once alone and stuck in that oxygen-less box.

Accept.

When you expect a straight ball, life decides to pitch you curve. Be aware, be ready, and invite it. Use it as a stepping-stone to the stronger version of yourself.

In wake of the curveball, ultimately we must accept it. The ball curved, it already happened and it can’t be undone. Give yourself some time and allow yourself to move on.

For me, this strike is literally life changing. But it’s time for me to accept and move on.

I hope you do the same with all your curveballs. And for whatever struggle you’re facing, Steven and I are here to help.

Until next time my beautiful readers,

Be Bold, be free, and love on.

How To Escape From A Rut

I’ve been in a complete standstill for the last three weeks. I was stuck, unhappy and saw no end to it. But, today is the first day I actually feel ‘alive.’

I made a conscious decision to pick myself up by the bootstraps and start anew. I realized three things that pulled me out and, today, I started my day properly.

It begins with a change in perspective.

Realize that it will end

In the natural progression of life, standstills will happen. They will occur frequently and, perhaps, for extended periods of time. But realize this portion of your life is short-lived.

You will feel better, if you allow yourself to.

Life occurs in cycles. As sure as the seasons change from fall to winter, spring to summer, so will your ups and downs. At some point in your life, ruts will occur, but don’t wallow. Realize it and push through.

Use it to grow stronger

In my last article, I mentioned that every negative situation has a positive. Well, every bad stretch serves a purpose to your larger life.

This bad portion, for lack of better words, is bad. But treasure and notice the changes.

A stronger person is born out of ruts because you learn. You learn how to manage debilitative emotions, how to handle lack of progression, and how to pull yourself out.

Take this valuable knowledge and store it in your back pocket. When the next one occurs, you apply it and learn more, carrying little bits of knowledge throughout your entire life.

Actively search for solutions while you’re in this phase. Every rut has a silver lining. Explore it.

Have an end goal

I don’t know the exact reason for my rut. I woke up and felt different. This different feeling held on for the next three weeks. Maybe I let school or my relationships get to me.

Regardless of the reason, when I look forward, everything changes. In a few months, I’ll be done school and moving out. That is my end goal. This rut is a momentary.

Everything changes when I enter a new phase in my life and that excites me. It breathes new life into my lungs.

Have a goal solidified in your head. Keep the image strong and push toward it. Through your rut, hold it firm and be steadfast. Goals are important to give you that little extra nudge.

Ruts will occur. It keeps life different and interesting. If we didn’t have them, we would probably complain about a mundane life. If we didn’t have them, we wouldn’t be able to cope.

And, worst of all, we wouldn’t grow as a person. Growth is the central purpose in life. Through ruts, we become stronger, happier and more fulfilled.

We can learn a lot from them. So don’t toil and wallow. Stop, learn and progress.

Be bold, be free and love on.

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The King of All Lists

I’ve been doing to-do lists for a long time. Every single morning, I wake up and write down exactly what I want to accomplish by the end of the day.

As I crossed things off that list, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. Crossing things of my goal list is extremely gratifying.

In my opinion, to-do lists are amazing. They give you an outline of the day. They allow you to complete your goals and promote generating/implementing a routine.

They’re built for people that use the common excuse; “I don’t have time,” which, I’ve discovered, is quite a large number of the population.

Outline Your Day

Wake up every morning and write down exactly what you want to accomplish by the end of the day. Keep it short and concise.

Long lists prevent you from completing them, which knocks you down a peg at the end of the day. Make you sure you keep it small.

Have a set of constant goals that you must achieve (more on this later). For me, it’s daily affirmations, learning Spanish, and going to the gym. These are my constant goals to attain each day.

Make Time

For all intensive purposes, I consider myself a busy person. I blog, make videos; attend school and work, and constant learn (or read) something, which sucks up most of my time.

“How do you have time?”

The answer is quite simple. I make time. This is something magical about the to-do list. Having those goals on my to-do almost force me to make time. I know the feeling of not completing that list.

I work to avoid that feeling! I don’t have any extra divine time. I just make sure I fit it in. The to-do list encourages me to complete everything.

Build a Habit

To-do lists help build a routine. As mentioned, I have certain things that stay constant. Gym was always a constant habit, which I internalized early on.

However, affirmations and Spanish was something that never came easy. I constantly forgot to complete them or decided to avoid it for just one day.

Here’s where the list came in. Including those things on my list gave me extra motivation to complete it. I couldn’t allow myself to sleep without completing my list, even though it included a difficult Spanish lesson and time-consuming affirmations.

Now, those things are a constant event on my list, but I don’t need them to be. I’ve built the habit. I know, even without including them on the list, that I have to complete them before the days’ end.

Now, including those goals are formalities. Use your to-do list to build and internalize new habits.

“To-Don’t” List

I used to have a terrible nail-biting habit. My earliest memories included my fingers in constant pain and bleeding. I can’t place any early memories before nail biting.

I’ve pretty much done it my entire life. This was a hard habit to break.

How did I do it?

To-Don’t lists to the rescue. I started my day by writing “Today, I will not bite my nails.” And every night that I didn’t bite, I crossed it off.

Boom. Instant gratification.

The problem with people and bad habits is that they visualize the distant future. They see one week or month into the future and breaking the habit seems almost impossible.

Not biting my nails for a FULL week? Not drinking for a FULL week? Not smoking for a FULL week? That seems torturous.

Instead, focus only on today. Today is the only day that matters. Get through today. And then, tomorrow, get through that today. Time doesn’t exist outside of today. Time is just a series of todays.

Similar to the to-do lists, not being able to cross it off at the end of the day, felt terrible. My decision always includes gratification and today I will achieve it.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

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