1 Daunting Method To Create a Stronger YOU

I have a confession to make.

This is something that we often feel, but seldom say. It is an inevitable part of life and something that can be our greatest motivator or our greatest hindrance.

I am afraid.

I am moving out on Friday and whilst crunching financial figures and assessing the rest of my life, everything is overwhelming.

The adult world seems daunting. Until now, I have been able to lean on my parents for love and support. Now I have to chase it using my own two feet.

Thoughts encircle my head, weighing down my consciousness, feelings and, in turn, governing my actions.

What if I fail? What if I go broke? What if I can’t manage or cope? What if something bad happens? 

I am afraid of it all.

However, inevitably, it is our choice to pursue a solitary path. One leads into a gloomy shadowed forest like something out of Lemony Snicket, while the other offers sunshine and rabbits, haphazardly prancing around lively shrubbery.

Feelings of insecurity are normal and should be welcomed. They possess the key to growth and, if we allow, can push us to the next phase of our lives. However, it can also paralyze us, until time itself eventually takes us.

The choice is ours.

Day-to-day, month-to-month and year-to-year, we are confronted with situations in which fear can take a firm grasp.

Maybe you want to start a business, but the fear of failure is overwhelming. Maybe you want to ask that person out, but you’re afraid of rejection. Maybe you want to quit your job, but you’re scared of the uncertain future.

I have realized in my short life that the feelings of fear, insecurity and uncertainty serve only one purpose – to push you, to challenge you and, inevitably, to grow you into the stronger version of yourself, mentally and physically.

When I am faced with a challenge, I have to take the leap – within sound reason.

The fear of failure, rejection and uncertainty pales in comparison when pondering the dreaded ‘what-if?’

Absolutely nothing can come from ‘what-if?’ There is no tangible answer to this question.

“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

No matter how bad the outcome, know at the very least, you will still be alive.

Today and everyday, I implore you to face your demons, your fears, your uncertainties, and all the judgmental onlookers.

Face your challenges, hold your head high, and pursue the strongest version of yourself. Limit the possibility of asking ‘what-if’ because those dreaded words will eat you up from the inside, out.

I’ve acknowledged these feelings within myself. But, it feels relieving to finalize verbalize it. A sense of ease floods into my being when I put it out to the masses.

Here at 2HelpfulGuys we try our earnest to help each and everyone in need through our words, videos and books.

Today, my dear readers, you have helped me. From the deepest and warmest portion of my heart, thank you.

Till next time,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

How To Stop Internalizing Your Failures

I completely forgot to write an article for today. I woke up this morning, wrote for something else and midway through the day, I realized it was Wednesday. I failed.

I hate feeling like my writing is rushed because I like to think and really feel my writing. So instead, I thought I going to post a question from our recent book.

“Wait, what? You wrote a book?” – Everyone

Recently, Steven and I wrote a book called “Not So Frequently Asked Questions.” If you haven’t heard of it, it’s because clearly we’re just writers and failed at marketing. We were so focused on the content and quality of the book that we forgot to build anticipation. Here is one question from our new book:

“How do I stop internalizing failure and beating myself up? I have this problem. I internalize everything! If I fail at something even if I worked hard at it and even if some things were out of my control, I get really down on myself for a long time. As this happens I doubt my capabilities, motivation, intelligence etc. and blame myself for every failure in my life. I try to not be like this but it’s just in my nature.” – Angela

Dear Angela,

I’ve personally failed at a lot of things throughout my short life. I’ve failed school courses, businesses, writing, and worst of all, people. I’ve gotten down on myself. It’s hard to pick up and start something knowing all my past failures.

But through all my failures, there is always one thing that stands out. Failures are just another facet of life. Everyone fails. The majority of people, including myself, share your position, so take comfort in that.

There are a few things that I’ve figured out along the way to stop internalizing my failures. It begins and ends with your perspective. If you change the way you perceive failure, you alter how it impacts you.

Failure is okay

You can learn valuable life lessons from every failure. Without them, there wouldn’t be lessons and without lessons, there wouldn’t be successes. Don’t let your defeats be in vain. Learn, progress and strive for something better.

I’ve realized that failures are significantly more common than successes. Life is a series of disappointments peppered with miniature successes. Even the most accomplished person has had more failures than successes.

There’s so much we can learn from our defeats. The moment we see them as opportunities rather than embarrassments, we no longer fear encountering them. Welcome your failures with open arms. Appreciate your failures for what they are: an integral part of building a better you.

Don’t be afraid of disappointment

It is interesting that failure is something everyone experiences; yet most people are afraid of it. They are afraid of screwing up or disappointing someone, or worse, themselves. Sometimes I am afraid too, but we have to rise above these fears.

If you play it safe and stay in your comfort zone, your life will be a basket full of regrets. You will have more regrets about things you didn’t do rather than things you did and failed at. You will regret not allowing yourself to fail more.

When I started working out, I was timid. I was afraid of what people might think. I couldn’t get over the hump of the judgmental stares. I limited myself to certain activities to avoid ridicule.

I was afraid to try new things because people would laugh if I failed. In most cases, your failures only matter to you. In the brevity of human life, failure does not matter.

Failure is necessary in order to succeed

You must fail consistently, for long periods of time. Falling flat on your face is the best motivator. When we started the YouTube channel, I failed consistently. I still fail consistently. Steven is a good actor and compared to him, I’m a peanut.

I made the same mistakes over and over again. I couldn’t wrap my head around certain lines. My bloopers were almost endless as I struggled to achieve a few good takes.

But as I made the same mistakes repeatedly, I slowly learned. Through failures you slowly gain and hone abilities, one at a time. Use each failure as a plank of wood; eventually building a bridge that leads to your goals.

We often get wrapped up in past thinking. The thoughts hinder us from reaching our full potential. It is a barrier designed to prevent you from achieving great things. It prevents you from moving forward.

I hold on to certain aspects of the past, which prevents me from progressing. But in the end, never doubt your capabilities and never doubt the power of failure.

This is just one question out of the nineteen others in the book. I consider my goal achieved if I can help just one person. The value in this book will bring me closer to that goal, but more importantly, it will help you.

I’m sorry again. I promise I will make it up to all of you next week with something spectacular. Until then,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

The Power of Mistakes

Recently, I was terrified of losing my job. I did something bad and I had terrible thoughts racing through my head.

“How would I pay my bills? What am I going to do without money? How the hell am I supposed to survive? No one is hiring anymore.”

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Do I regret them? No. Definitely not. My mistakes have made me who I am. They have made me stronger, better, and faster. I am pretty much the three million dollar man, minus the three million dollars.

With every mistake that I make, I discover more about myself. About who I am, my limits, capabilities, and what I can and cannot do. They help me become a more compassionate and tolerant person, not only to others, but also with myself.

Mistakes Are ALRIGHT.

You can learn valuable life lessons from every mistake. Do not let that mistake go in vain. Learn, progress and strive for something better.

I will never make the same mistake at work again. I cannot afford to. I do not want to relive that brief moment, where I had fears of losing my livelihood.

There is so much we can learn from our mistakes, and the moment we see them as lessons rather than mistakes, we will no longer possess this irrational fear of encountering them.

“To Err is Human” – Alexander Pope

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are. They are integral to building a better you.

Don’t Be Afraid of Mistakes

It is interesting that mistakes are something that everyone does, but most people are afraid of them. They are afraid of failing, screwing up or disappointing someone. Sometimes, I am afraid.

But, rise above it. You have to. No, you need to. If you play it safe, stay in your comfort zone, your life will be a full basket of regrets. You will have more regrets about the things you did not do rather than the things you did do, you will regret not making more mistakes.

When I started working out, I was timid. I was afraid of what people might think.

“Who is this fat kid? What is he trying to do? He looks so stupid right now.”

I could not get over the hump of the judgmental stares. I limited myself to certain activities to avoid ridicule. I was afraid of trying new things because people would laugh if I made mistakes.

In most cases, your mistakes only matter to you. In the brevity of human life, mistakes do not matter.

One thing I learned from working out is that people are generally self-absorbed and not looking (or even caring) about you. Those stares were all in my head. I was self-conscious and let the fear of making mistakes hinder my abilities.

Failure is Necessary

In order to succeed, you must fail. You must fail consistently, for a long period of time. Falling flat on your face is the best motivator.

Recently, a friend and I started a YouTube channel (2HelpfulGuys). Check it you when you have a chance.

He is a great actor. I am not amazing, myself. I make the same mistakes, over and over and over again.

I cannot seem to wrap my head around certain lines. The bloopers are almost endless, as I struggle to achieve a few good takes. But making the same mistakes repeatedly, I slowly learn.

Accept the mistakes and move on.

I gain and hone the abilities, one at a time. Eventually, I will be able to limit the bloopers. I will progress and achieve my goals.

But, it has to stem from my mistakes.