DESIGN YOUR DAYS TO DESIGN YOUR LIFE

Here is a secret.

I don’t know where my life is going.

I have goals, hopes and plans, but there is no way to know whether any of them will work out.

There are a million situations that could arise at any moment and change the entire course of my future.

Even if nothing life changing happens externally, in six months I could be a different person with different goals.
You never know.

You might think this is a negative way to view life, but I find it to be freeing.

When you are looking too far forward into the future the uncertainty can seem daunting.

But every marathon is finished step by step, every wall is built brick by brick and every life is lived day by day.

If you live your life trying to get as much out of each individual day as possible, you can rest assured that you have done all you can to achieve a life that makes you proud.

You have to design your days to design your life.

Here are three things you can do to ensure that you get the most value out of today.

Do something that moves you forward.

This is anything that improves you physically, emotionally, spiritually or intellectually.

It is important to try and improve yourself at least marginally every day.

Read a book, go for a walk, meditate or hit the gym. Whatever you have to do to feel like you are a slightly more balanced and stable person than you were yesterday.

When you get into the habit of doing something that moves you forward every day, you will never be stagnant.

You will feel like a completely brand new person every six months.

Do something you haven’t done before.

Without novelty in our lives the days seem to blend together in a mix of early morning coffee spills and beaten up alarm clocks.

It’s hard to notice when your life has been going on autopilot. You look back in shock as you realize that you haven’t done anything new in months.
Where did the time go?

Novelty is the spice of life. Go to a film festival, check out a farmers market. Do something you’ve never done before, go somewhere you’ve never been before.

Add some colour to your life to prevent it from becoming a symphony of greys and blacks.

Do something selfless.

There is no better way to have a meaningful day than to devote some of your time to something other than yourself.

There are more than seven billion people on this planet but we often only think of life from our own perspective.

Devoting some of your time to others can help you see life in a new light.

Spend some time volunteering, reach out to a friend you haven’t seen in a while or show some love to your pet.

Any time spent on someone else, is time well spent.

You may not know what will happen in the future, but decide what happens today.

If you consciously try to get value out of every day, you will have a valuable life.

A life with meaning is a life well lived, but your whole life doesn’t happen at once.

It’s built brick by brick, step by step, day by day.

As always, I’ll see you next Sunday.

FORGET MOTIVATION, REMEMBER DISCIPLINE

Motivation is overrated.

With every goal I try to reach and every habit I try to internalize, I always start off motivated and eager to climb the ladder to success.

But where is my motivation three months later at 5:45am, looking up at a long day of work after a sleepless night?

Where is my motivation during a horrible week, wrought with upsets and disappointments?

I curl up in bed, knowing full well what I have to do, but my motivation is no where to be found.

Motivation is a feeling. It is sand in your palms, sensitive to even the slightest breeze.

So what force do we use to accomplish our goals if not motivation?

Discipline.

Courage is not the absence fear, but the ability to go on despite it.

Discipline is not the absence of avolition, but the pledge to push forward regardless of it’s presence.

Discipline is the force that will be with you no matter what you are thinking or how you are feeling at the time.

No matter what you try to achieve, you will need it. From dieting, to writing a book, to cutting back on your swearing, discipline is the greatest force behind all improvement.

Here are a couple of things I have learned about discipline and how to cultivate it.

Discipline is one day at a time.

I have a little green book in the drawer beside me that I haven’t opened since last august, until today.

This book was my first conscious attempt at developing my discipline, although I had no idea what I was doing at the time.

It has a check list. Read, Write, Gym, 10 Ideas, 8 Hours of sleep.

When I started this book I hadn’t turned any of these things into concrete habits. I tried doing it all at once.

Every day I would put check marks beside what I did and rate myself out of 5.

It started off well, but quickly got ugly.

What I didn’t know at the time is that it is impossible to completely change your life overnight.

Developing your discipline is a life long pursuit. One that most of us don’t consciously pursue.
We aren’t all monks.

Every day try to exercise your discipline just one time. Pick the smallest habit you can and start there. Mine was making breakfast every morning.

That single habit, that single discipline workout every morning, changed my life.

For best results, treat your body with respect.

Everything that you accomplish in your life will stem from your mind. Your mind and the various states you put it through can decide whether you get closer to a better life, or slip further away.

If you are hungry, tired or stressed it will affect everything you do.

You should always make it a priority to get the proper amount of sleep and eat regularly. If you treat your body with disrespect, you will not get anything good from it.

Eating breakfast changed my life because it gave me energy in the morning and encouraged me to get more sleep so that I could wake up early enough to cook.

Your body doesn’t need to be a temple, but don’t let it turn into a garbage dump.

Forgive yourself and move on.

This is another major theme in life. If developing your discipline is a life long pursuit, then it only makes sense that every once and a while you are going to falter.

If you beat yourself up, you are more likely to spiral out of control and end up right back at square one.

Getting angry at yourself will solve nothing. If you fall, get back up as soon as possible and move on.

Today was an exercise in discipline for me.

I didn’t really have the motivation to write today. I have two days off, I’m tired, and it’s thanksgiving. If I wanted to I could have used these things as excuses to skip writing.

But this is where discipline, that little muscle that could, comes in. I know the exact moment that I don’t want to do something when I know I should, is when I have to call upon that little friend.

I have a lot of other things I plan to do today. Some of them will get done, but maybe I’ll miss a few.

That’s okay. I’m not perfect. But I’d like to believe I’m better than I was yesterday.

Happy thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians.
As always, I’ll see you next Sunday.

GETTING OUT OF A FUNK

I’m in a bit of a funk.

Something is off, though I am not sure what.

When something happens and it upsets me I can figure out how to solve the problem, and then the bad mood will go away.

When I don’t have a reason for being in a weird mood I become frustrated. Everything piles up on me without explanation.

I feel lonely and empty. I start to view everything from a negative light. I’m not like myself at all.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

How do we escape these feelings if we don’t know where they come from?

I prefer to focus on solutions rather than the problems so let’s ignore the thousands of hours we could spend figuring out the why, and instead focus on the how.

These are four tips I remind myself of every time I get into one of these moods. I hope that they help you as much as they have helped me.

Write your grateful list.

You don’t have to be surrounded by family eating turkey to be grateful.

You will be beat up, tired, lonely and heartbroken throughout this life. During these times being grateful for whatever you do have can be the only thing that saves you.

I jump to this tip as soon as I feel even a slight funk coming on.

Write down ten things you are grateful for, or twenty, or thirty. As many as you need to remember that there is always something in your life worth feeling good about.

The worse off you are, the deeper you will have to dig. But if you find something to be grateful for at rock bottom, you’ll never have to worry about falling again.

Change the channel.

If you are in a bad mood, think back to a time when you were happy. What was really all that different?

You still had troubles, worries, fears and problems. You were still the same living, breathing person you are today.

I remind myself of this to remember that my mood isn’t who I am.
It’s just a channel I’m on.

Do anything you can to change that channel. Don’t give in and listen to that sad music, instead watch a stand up special.

Instead of writing your sad poetry try playing chess online, meditating, reading or anything that is outside of the norm for you.

Shake things up and change your channel.

Focus on others.

Being upset requires a certain degree of selfishness. “Why are things so bad for me? Why don’t they love me? Why can’t I just catch a break?”

I’m not saying it’s wrong, that’s just the way I look at it.

To get out of the funk, you have to switch your focus to others.

I prefer to do this by messaging someone I haven’t spoken to in a while out of the blue. I don’t try to get their advice or burden them with my problems. I tell them that I miss them. I try to express how much they mean to me regardless of how close we are to each other.

There are many ways to shift your focus though. Anything from volunteering to spending some time petting a cat will help.

It’s hard to feel down on yourself when you are focused on someone else. I guarantee if you make another person’s day brighter, you will catch some of that light as well.

When all else fails, decide to reset tomorrow.

Sometimes I am in a funk, I’ve tried everything, and there is no way out.

At this point I remind myself that this is just a feeling, not who I am. Maybe today is a write off, but tomorrow is a new day.

You will be happy again, and unfortunately, you will also be sad again.

But every day ends, and every new morning will begin. Focus on restarting tomorrow.

Writing this has helped me with my funk. For that, I thank you. By doing this I have focused on others and changed the channel.

I think today is a bit of a write off, so I’ll go to bed now.
And tomorrow… well, tomorrow is another day and I am grateful.

Ten Commandments Of Learning

I’ve tried a few things in my lifetime. Some of them I have been good at, and others have caused me to fall flat on my face like Bambi.

I’ve learned how to play the drums, how to do door to door sales, speak/act on a public stage, create YouTube videos, work out, and the list goes on.

I’ve always enjoyed learning new things and throughout the years I started to realize that any venture you plan on undertaking will have certain universal truths that can help you be successful.
And save you a LOT of time.

I could write an article on each of these, but I want to give you something comprehensive.

Without further ado, here are my “Ten Commandments of Learning.”

1) Be Passionate

No matter what you are going to try, you have to have passion.
It has to invigorate you.

If your venture doesn’t excite you then at some point you are going to lose interest and motivation. You don’t want to get into something that you will eventually drop and forget about.

If the thought of sewing doesn’t excite you, pick something else. This should be common sense but you would be surprised how many people do things with a lack of passion.

Maybe they want to impress other people or they think it’s something they should learn.

Don’t do something for any other reason than fulfilling a passion. Otherwise the results will be lack luster and you will waste your time.

2) Learn From The Professionals

We are lucky to live in the internet age. There are thousands of qualified people giving out free information at every turn.

Instead of just jumping in head first without knowing anything, take a little bit of time to research some people that have already succeeded in your venture and allow them to be digital mentors.

If you have a credible professional closer to you then great, learn in person. Unfortunately most people won’t have that luxury.

You can find hundreds of YouTube videos, blogs, magazines and podcasts on any topic.

This will save you a lot of time spent learning things the hard way. These people have already learned things the hard way, use them as a resource.

Get a digital mentor, or ten, and get cracking.

3) Start Small (*ere ere* Break it down now)
My impression of DJ scratching.

I can not stress how important this one is. Learn the absolute basics first, master them, and then move on to the next stages.

When I was teaching people how to do door to door sales I would focus on one thing at a time. Usually I would start with body language or voice projection.

I wouldn’t even worry about the pitch, closing a sale, or any fine details for a while.

Before any of that, they had to learn the basics.

When you learn an instrument you don’t start off playing Mozart. You don’t even learn a song right away.

First, you start by learning how to hold it, how to play scales and how to take care of it.

Learn what the basics are and then master them.

4) Fall Into A Phase

If you want to learn something effectively you have to immerse yourself in it. Willingly accept that this is something you love and for a time it will take up a lot of your attention.

People might become annoyed when they notice that you talk about this venture a lot and you relate everything back to it, but this will help integrate it into your very being.

I learn everything by going into phases. Right now I am in a positive thinking and willpower phase. I watch YouTube videos about it, listen to audio books, meditate, do positive affirmations and a whole list of other things.

When you go into a phase you may partially neglect other parts of your life and that’s fine because right now you are focusing on something important to you.

You also have to realize that this venture won’t be your main focus for your whole life, but after it is over the lessons you learned will be integrated into you and will help you in any other endeavors.

Allow yourself to fall into a phase and you will learn ten times faster.

5) Dedicate An Allotted Daily Time to Practice

So you have allowed yourself to fall down the rabbit hole and you are deep in a phase.

You spend time learning about your venture, and immersing yourself in your venture, but you must ensure you practice it.

All the theory in the world isn’t worth anything if you never practice and you need to set aside a daily time slot to do so.
It has to be everyday, non-negotiable.

It can be an hour, or ten minutes. If you think you don’t have enough time to practice, then make the time.

Wake up a half hour earlier and do it then, before the birds are chirping and the world is breathing down your neck.

This goes hand in hand with being in a phase because you might not be able to do this for your whole life.

But right now, you need to do it. Get it done everyday, no excuses.

6) Connect With Others On The Same Path

I am a firm believer that you can’t do everything on your own.

You will run into other people while you are venturing down your path. Use their help.

Ask them for advice, get them to practice with you, have discussions with them, and allow them to be a part of your immersion process.

You can find these people on forums, in YouTube comments, or in everyday life.

If you surround yourself with people that have the same interest you will always have a second perspective and a motivator.

7) Allow Yourself To Fail

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Anything you have ever done, you have failed at. From speaking, to walking, to brushing your teeth, and everything in between.

The first thirty times you tried walking you literally fell flat on your ass.

So why do we associate failure with embarrassment when we are older?

I guarantee that if you fail at anything one hundred times, you will be better at it than ninety percent of people.

You will learn a bit about yourself, and your craft, every time you fail.

The difference between the master and the beginner is that the master has failed more times than the beginner has ever tried.

8) Teach Another Person

This is the part of the puzzle that most people never fit in. In order to truly internalize a skill you need to teach it.

This will force you to look at the learning experience from every angle and examine your craft down to the smallest details so that you can answer any question.

When you teach someone else something that you have learned, they will experience obstacles that you may not have experienced. You will learn from their failures just as you learned from yours.

Not to mention that you will be helping someone and making the world better.
Each one teach one.

9) Keep It In Your Thoughts

Before you go to bed and night and when you wake up in the morning make sure your venture is on your mind.

Imagine yourself at the end of your journey, a master of new skills, a more resilient version of yourself.

Remind yourself why you started, and why you will persevere through any obstacles.

I like to do this by having daily affirmations. Before I lay in bed at night and before I get up in the morning I repeat a chosen phrase to myself. I close my eyes and visualize my goal as if I am already there.

The mind is a powerful thing and whatever you focus on the most is what will come to fruition in your life.
Make sure it is your goal.

10) Be Humble

Never assume that you know more than anyone else. Take criticism gracefully.

Take the positive out of everything that you can and leave the negative behind.

You must always view yourself as a student, learning as much as you can from all sources.

It is essential that you remain humble and open, otherwise you will not be in the state required for optimal learning. If you are closed minded and arrogant you won’t grow.

These are my ten commandments for learning.

I live by them every day. They will give you the foundation to build your dreams on.

Learning something new is always scary, but if you remember that the commandments are always the same you will feel as though you are walking a familiar path.
It’s a beautiful stroll, isn’t it?

The Great Escape

“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.”
-Benjamin Disraeli

I was stuck in a prison with no hope of getting out.

I wanted to change my life so bad, but the change itself scared me to the point of paralysis.

I was stuck in inaction, which is exactly like a prison. You spend your time thinking about all the things you could be doing, but still spend everyday doing the same thing.
Nothing changes.

Sometimes I dress up my fear in optimistic clothes, giving me an excuse for my inaction. I say to myself “Don’t worry, everything will work out just fine.” And then I let more time pass without anything changing.

I have spent the recent months getting out of the prison of inaction. Now I plan on going back, grabbing the keys and freeing anyone who will come with me.

Here is how we do it.

Learn about others who have accomplished their goals.

Everything in this society as a whole is made up of, and run by, people who are generally just like you. All the giant corporations, stock markets, charities, TV stations, all of it.

In order to escape the prison you have to believe you can and the first step to believing you can is knowing that other people out there have already done it.

This way you can give yourself hope, and get tips from someone who has already been around the block. There are thousands of lessons other people have had to learn first hand during their escape that you can learn from now without any downsides.

Get a mentor, or ten. Learn as much as you can from them. Use them as both inspiration and motivation.

Take the task at hand and split it into as many pieces as possible.

When you are looking at the master plan you can come down with a case of vertigo.

Knowing where you want to be but having no idea how you are going to get there is disorientating to say the least.

This is why you need to just think about the very first step. Eating an elephant can seem impossible but you can do it one bite at a time if you just worry about what you are chewing now.

So take every task in your life and split it into a thousand small bites. It’s much easier to digest this way.

Do the easiest or most enjoyable tasks first.

Once you have broken down your task pick the quickest, easiest, or most enjoyable parts and tackle those first.

This will ensure that you actually start and once you are in it there is a good chance that your motivation will snowball.

Another good way to gather some motivation and energy is to have a productive side hobby. Something that you really enjoy and can turn to when you feel really lazy.

The energy you gain from this side hobby will leak into the rest of your life and make you more productive in general. That is a big reason that I started this blog and my YouTube channel 2HelpfulGuys.

The escape isn’t easy but once you are out, you’ll never look back.