3 Lessons From Our Mothers

If you had to clean up someones poop, puke, and pee, or had to listen to them cry and scream at all hours of day and night, you probably wouldn’t stand this person for very long.

Well, your mother went through that and a whole lot more for a very long time to make sure that you survived and became the slightly less poop and pee covered person that you are today.

Our mothers not only took care of us when we were disgusting and unruly, they also taught us a lot of the most important lessons we’ve ever learned.

We will never be able to repay our mothers, but at the very least we can say thank you every once and a while.

So this is an ode to the lessons our mothers have taught us, and a thank you note to all the amazing mothers out there.

We are born of love; love is our mother.
-Rumi

Sharing Is Caring

I grew up in a male dominated house. Needless to say, the boys of the house wanted to solve every conflict aggressively and had a hard time sharing anything. Whether it was time on the computer, toys, or treats, we wanted everything to ourselves.

But mothers will always step in and set it straight. She showed us the value of sharing our things, and thus our happiness, with others.

She also taught us this lesson through her everyday life. I frequently saw my mother pay for strangers, offer to pay for everyone in our group, and give presents at every opportunity.

She taught us that money comes and goes, but the impact that a small gesture can have on someone will last forever.

Give Everyone A Fair Shake

No matter who you were, if you came into contact with my mother she would give you the benefit of the doubt.

If everyone in the world was like this there would be no more sexism, racism, or any other of the prejudice diseases that plague humanity. When you treat each person as an individual and assume only the best of them—until they prove otherwise—you make the world a fairer place.

The media will try to convince you of a whole myriad of ignorant stereotypes, but the lessons from our mothers will always outweigh them and for that I am grateful.

Because of our mothers we know that each person is unique and deserves a fair chance.

Don’t Let The Opinions Of Others Affect You

My mother is a bus driver. She has told me many horror stories and she has been called every name in the book.

She’s been put down or attacked so many times that you’d lose count, but she never let the opinions of others affect her opinion of herself.

Sometimes it would get to her, but seeing the strength and determination that she mustered up during those moments was inspiring.

I learned that other people can only affect you as much as you let them affect you and this is one of the most important lessons a person can learn.

When I think of the mothers of the world I think about determination, unconditional love, overcoming obstacles, and doing things you never thought you’d do because you love that little life more than anything in the whole world.

Raising you was the hardest thing someone ever had to do in their entire life. So today, take the time to thank them. This is for all the mothers out there.

I love you mum. Thank for putting up with all the poop, the pee, the aggression, the rebellion, the shortcomings and the times I didn’t appreciate you like I should have.

I’ve finally learned my lessons.

What are some of the lessons that your mother taught you? Leave them in the comments!

How To Stop Internalizing Your Failures

I completely forgot to write an article for today. I woke up this morning, wrote for something else and midway through the day, I realized it was Wednesday. I failed.

I hate feeling like my writing is rushed because I like to think and really feel my writing. So instead, I thought I going to post a question from our recent book.

“Wait, what? You wrote a book?” – Everyone

Recently, Steven and I wrote a book called “Not So Frequently Asked Questions.” If you haven’t heard of it, it’s because clearly we’re just writers and failed at marketing. We were so focused on the content and quality of the book that we forgot to build anticipation. Here is one question from our new book:

“How do I stop internalizing failure and beating myself up? I have this problem. I internalize everything! If I fail at something even if I worked hard at it and even if some things were out of my control, I get really down on myself for a long time. As this happens I doubt my capabilities, motivation, intelligence etc. and blame myself for every failure in my life. I try to not be like this but it’s just in my nature.” – Angela

Dear Angela,

I’ve personally failed at a lot of things throughout my short life. I’ve failed school courses, businesses, writing, and worst of all, people. I’ve gotten down on myself. It’s hard to pick up and start something knowing all my past failures.

But through all my failures, there is always one thing that stands out. Failures are just another facet of life. Everyone fails. The majority of people, including myself, share your position, so take comfort in that.

There are a few things that I’ve figured out along the way to stop internalizing my failures. It begins and ends with your perspective. If you change the way you perceive failure, you alter how it impacts you.

Failure is okay

You can learn valuable life lessons from every failure. Without them, there wouldn’t be lessons and without lessons, there wouldn’t be successes. Don’t let your defeats be in vain. Learn, progress and strive for something better.

I’ve realized that failures are significantly more common than successes. Life is a series of disappointments peppered with miniature successes. Even the most accomplished person has had more failures than successes.

There’s so much we can learn from our defeats. The moment we see them as opportunities rather than embarrassments, we no longer fear encountering them. Welcome your failures with open arms. Appreciate your failures for what they are: an integral part of building a better you.

Don’t be afraid of disappointment

It is interesting that failure is something everyone experiences; yet most people are afraid of it. They are afraid of screwing up or disappointing someone, or worse, themselves. Sometimes I am afraid too, but we have to rise above these fears.

If you play it safe and stay in your comfort zone, your life will be a basket full of regrets. You will have more regrets about things you didn’t do rather than things you did and failed at. You will regret not allowing yourself to fail more.

When I started working out, I was timid. I was afraid of what people might think. I couldn’t get over the hump of the judgmental stares. I limited myself to certain activities to avoid ridicule.

I was afraid to try new things because people would laugh if I failed. In most cases, your failures only matter to you. In the brevity of human life, failure does not matter.

Failure is necessary in order to succeed

You must fail consistently, for long periods of time. Falling flat on your face is the best motivator. When we started the YouTube channel, I failed consistently. I still fail consistently. Steven is a good actor and compared to him, I’m a peanut.

I made the same mistakes over and over again. I couldn’t wrap my head around certain lines. My bloopers were almost endless as I struggled to achieve a few good takes.

But as I made the same mistakes repeatedly, I slowly learned. Through failures you slowly gain and hone abilities, one at a time. Use each failure as a plank of wood; eventually building a bridge that leads to your goals.

We often get wrapped up in past thinking. The thoughts hinder us from reaching our full potential. It is a barrier designed to prevent you from achieving great things. It prevents you from moving forward.

I hold on to certain aspects of the past, which prevents me from progressing. But in the end, never doubt your capabilities and never doubt the power of failure.

This is just one question out of the nineteen others in the book. I consider my goal achieved if I can help just one person. The value in this book will bring me closer to that goal, but more importantly, it will help you.

I’m sorry again. I promise I will make it up to all of you next week with something spectacular. Until then,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Three Keys To Improving ANY Relationship

Improving relationships with friends and significant others is a common goal amongst people. People want to connect more with others, on a deeper level.

That has led me to consciously consider my interactions and change them. It begins with having a good intention.

We meet great people and we’re so overwhelmed with excitement. We build this amazing relationship with that person and everything is great.

But then, the excitement dwindles and we get caught in a routine and we start to develop little pet peeves. That initial spark is forgotten. That zest of why the person was great eventually fades.

To create, improve or rejuvenate a once great relationship, your intention must be to be great. You have to make the other person feel great. You have to make the other person feel appreciated and loved. It’s difficult and we all fail, but I think these three methods can strengthen and improve any relationship.

Key #1 –  Be Present

I went out with this girl for coffee. Midway through, her phone rang and she was on it for 15 minutes, as I stared in dismay. After her social call, she couldn’t let go of her phone, constantly texting or fiddling.

She was sharing her eye contact between her phone and I. She couldn’t give me her undivided attention for longer than three minutes. I find that incredibly problematic.

Most issues in relationships are caused by a lack of attention. You cannot show respect to someone, pick up on peoples’ non-verbal cues or feelings and completely understand the other person unless you’re completely present in their lives.

But, you can stand out. You can be the anomaly. Make a meaningful connection with your eyes and body, be present and envelope them with your unhindered presence.

Leave your phone on silent when you’re with loved ones. Or just leave it at home, and go for a walk with the person. Give them your undivided attention and they will understand how much they mean to you.

The cellphone ding makes people feel important, but what’s more important than the person across from you sharing a coffee right now?

Key #2 – Appreciate Them

Most people get wrapped up in the idea that appreciation involves extravagant gifts or these large spectacles like writing ‘thank you” in the sky. I thought I needed those to show people how much I cared for them.

But people don’t want your gifts. They just want to be appreciated, appreciated for all the little things they do, and feel and, most importantly, appreciated for who they are.

Appreciate who they are as a human being and, above all, be there for them. Be there when they need you, and be there even when they don’t.

Through all their ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ and trials and tribulations, they want to know that you’re there and that you truly care.

The people in your life want to feel your real appreciation. Thank you loses its’ meaning the more you say it. Instead, say ‘I appreciate you for…’

Key #3 – Make Complimenting a Daily Habit

There is a lot of power in words and they often get taken for granted. We think nice things about our friends and significant others, but rarely express them.

It seems like criticism gets more of the spotlight than compliments. In reality, compliments should be dominating the life-stage.

We’ve become people that forgot how to say nice things. When was the last time you complimented your friend or significant other? Personally, it has been three days and that’s a long time to hold nice comments in.

Make it a daily habit, or instead, a challenge, to compliment someone you care about. Solidify it into your daily routine and don’t feel completely fulfilled until you’ve made someone’s day through your words.

Say something meaningful and unique to make each compliment really matter. Make the person in your life feel like there is no one else deserving of those words in that very moment. True compliments arise from love and adoration.

This is the hardest step of the three because it requires both of the above steps. You need to be present to recognize the little quirks and you need to be able to appreciate that person for who they are.

These methods will change and impact your relationships in a very significant way. They are simple and just require a little presence, appreciation, and daily kind words.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Two Little Letters That WILL Change Your Life

Today is my third day of the last semester of my school career. If you have been with us since the beginning, you know of my complete disdain for school.

You’ve probably read some of our earlier articles on perseverance and living for yourself. With the culmination of school becoming an approaching reality, my body is becoming more energized, happier, and fulfilled.

Finally I can pursue my dreams, my goals and my aspirations.

The last four years have felt like someone has been controlling my life. I feel like a helpless puppet, played with and strung along this path. I’m not pointing fingers, but I am here because someone insisted I get an education.

Maybe you don’t want to go to school, but someone is forcing you

In the ever-changing world, school has become less of a requirement. Unless you hope to become a doctor or lawyer, school is becoming increasingly pointless.

But they keep forcing their opinions on you. They keep insisting you get a quality education, but shrug the horrendous amount of debt that looms over your head.

Maybe you want to leave your job, but you feel obligated to stay

You have obligations to your co-workers, family and friends. They are controlling you, keeping you in the same place, demanding your attention and valuable life.

Because of your obligations, you can’t see a way out. You decide to stay, despite your better judgment, living someone else’s expectations for your life. You feel trapped in the same place, stuck for perpetuity.

Maybe you want to learn something, but people beat you down

You crave a new skill, but people say, ‘That’s a far-fetched idea. You’ll never make it.’ You absorb this negative feedback and internalize it.

You give up your zest for learning or trying because others have said you couldn’t do it. Before long, you’re stuck, again, in your cyclical life.

When I wanted to learn politics, I faced opposition from all sides. I wanted to change the world positively. Most people told me I was crazy, that it would never work. I gave up.

The Solution is a Powerful Two-Letter Word

The word no is one of the simplest words in the English language, but it possesses significant power. We don’t exercise no as often as we’d like. We might disappoint people.

But your sanity and life depends on those two little letters. When you say yes to someone, you inherit all of their expectations, requirements and burdens. We can’t solve all the problems of the world without taking care of ourselves first.

Say no when someone thinks they know you better than you. Say no to people who feel like school is the best decision for your life.

Of course, we have those obligations to our families. But say no, by finding another solution while you’re in your current job. Say no to the slavery of your 9-5 if it doesn’t satisfy you. Seek solutions.

Say no to negative people and dream crushers. Say no to people that think you’re crazy, stupid, or foolhardy.

Maybe if I rejected all the dream-crushers during my political phase, I could have changed the world. But I gave up because I forgot to say no. But, then again, I’m trying to change the world now. This time, in a different way.

Be bold, be free, and love on.

4 Steps For A Successful ‘New Year, New Me’ Mentality

Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be hitting twenty-four. Coincidentally, it’s also the New-Year. So today, I will be reflecting on my year of life. It has been an interesting journey.

A year ago, I didn’t have anything. This blog, the YouTube channel, all the lovely readers, the confidence, the support and love, were all missing from my life. I was a wandering soul, trying to figure out my purpose.

My conscious goal was to figure out my life and in March 2014, I found solace in helping people. With each article, I felt a sense of satisfaction. My purpose became clearer, more refined.

Starting a New Year is interesting for many reasons. Among the sea of ‘New Year, New Me’ people there are a few that prosper. My goal is to increase that few from a hypothetical 10 out of 100, to a hypothetical 90 out of 100. Reaching everyone is foolhardy, but I can definitely increase that number a little bit.

Here’s what I’m going to do tomorrow.

Scratch that. I’m starting today.

1) A New Habit

Aside from the core habits – sleep, diet and exercise – there are many others you can implement. I’m solidifying an older routine into my daily practice: 10-minute meditations.

We’ve talked about meditations in the past, but humor me for a second. Your brain is the central entity responsible for all your thoughts, feelings and actions. It is responsible for everything; consciously and unconsciously in your body, yet we allow no rest.

When was the last time you did nothing – no thinking, worrying, fiddling? Your answer, like mine, is probably never. You have 10 minutes a day to dedicate to nothing.

Set a timer and focus on breathing. The hardest thing isn’t finding the time, but sitting still for 10 long minutes. It will be hard, but the more you do, the more benefits you reap and the practice becomes easier.

2) Determining Your Landmarks

I’m already one semester closer to graduating. What seemed like an eternity in September has passed and April is on the horizon. Time has a way of rapidly passing if you don’t monitor it.

Today, consciously think about where you want to be in 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. How do you want to feel physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally at those landmarks?

Decide the method you’re going to implement to feel that particular way. Write them down; post them somewhere visible, somewhere significant to you, as a reminder.

3) Live Fully Through Your Landmarks

Aim to improve insignificantly each day with your landmarks in the forefront of my mind. Improving yourself by 1% each day is insignificant, but that’s all you need.

Don’t try and climb your mountains everyday. Instead, take three steps and rest. At the end of year, you’ve improved 365% and you’re at the top of the mountain, well rested, stress free, and happy.

4) Reevaluate

Businesses release their results quarterly to show their progress, strengths and weaknesses and general hiccups. Become a major business. Every three months, revaluate your life.

The questions I ask myself:

• Have I been living congruently through my landmarks?
• Am I fulfilled with all aspects of my life? If yes, continue on your path. If no:
• What can I do to reevaluate and reinvigorate to achieve my next landmark?

Take time each quarter to assess your progress, your strengths and weaknesses and your hiccups. “Where am I faltering? Where can I improve? What is the biggest thing holding me back from achieving my goals?” are all questions you can ask yourself multiple times a year.

This year, like last year, will be tremendously different, if I allow it to be. If I implement this four-step method, I know I won’t be one of the ‘new year, new me’ people that fail and ponder what went wrong at the end of 2015. I hope you implement these methods and questions. If you do, 2015 will be your year.

Be bold, be free, and love on.