More Control In Your Life

We cannot control every aspect of our lives and we shouldn’t even attempt to. In fact, most of the misery people feel in life comes from attempting to control the uncontrollable.

We can’t control the economy or the weather. And we most definitely cannot control others.

All we can control is ourselves – our character, our outlook, our actions and contributions.

Everything else, for the most part, is largely uncontrollable.

But still, we try. Why?

It is an instinctual desire to have a larger sense of control over our inner and outer worlds. We want control over our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We want to control our outcomes and the relationships we have in the outside world. But we mustn’t stray to far.

Control is a double-edged sword

If we have too much control, we can become rigid and inflexible. We start expecting things to turn out exactly as planned and lose our ability to adapt when things go awry.

On the opposite end, if we have no control in our lives, we can feel like we’re in a tailspin. No control means little choice over our wills, paths and life purposes. We are left to the whims of luck and chance.

We can’t tell you how much control is sufficient. It varies from person to person. Our levels of control might be someone else’s definition of too much or too little. We all need different levels at different points in our lives.

Although, through our many experiences, we have figured out one thing we can control, without wandering too far in either direction.

Control our inner world

Sometimes the bus arrives early and we miss it by a few moments. Or someone close to you hurts you. Or it could be as trivial as your roommate drinking all the milk.

Regardless of the problem, most of what happens to us is completely out of our control. However, our ultimate response – how we react – is directly under our control.

How we perceive each situation determines how we feel. But, a positive outlook is tougher than we might expect. Our perceptions are informed by a compilation of what we consume on a daily basis.

Almost everything we see or read is some form of negativity or chaos. The average person watches four hours of television and then spends another few hours browsing the Internet.

Between the television and the Internet, we can’t escape the clutches of negativity.

If we want to control our inner world – our thoughts, feelings and actions – we have to consider the information we consume.

Perhaps we should use the extra ‘TV time’ purposefully consuming positive and empowering information. Or meet with friends that will lift us up. Or work through and tackle new challenges that remind us how strong we really are.

We have to safeguard our outlook to control our interpretations of the world around us. We have to seek optimism with urgency.

Being an optimist means that we are able to find the glimmer of good in every person, situation, and problem. We able to be hopeful when things go awry. We are able to adapt when things don’t proceed as planned.

Optimism, like pessimism, is a choice completely under our control. Given the choice, which should we choose – a life of positive experiences or negative expectations?

Which way shall we steer our lives today and every day?

What will we stand for today? Will we allow petty situations to overwhelm us? What kind of positive values and beliefs shall we release to the world every day?

When we align our positive outlook with diligent intention, we can begin to take control of our internal worlds and feel happier and more fulfilled.

We can face the worlds’ challenges head-on and become an unshakeable fortress.

So today, when everyone is trying to control the bus schedule or trying to stop their roommates from drinking all the milk, spend your time purposely with the intent of controlling your unshakeable optimistic outlook.

As always, our beautiful readers,

Be bold, be free, and love on.

Control-Button

25 thoughts on “More Control In Your Life

  1. My sister’s life revolved around her husband of 30 years until he decided he didn’t want to be married anymore. No kids. And she has no friends. She works. I’m trying to get her interested in book clubs as a safe way to meet people but she’s just …”whoa is me. I have no friends and it’s so hard to meet people.” …she hides in her comfort zone which is just mope through each day …never change anything …arggggghhh! Any thoughts or previous blogs about breaking out of ones shell …the importance of socialization. When it comes from a third party (you) there is a greater chance she will not go defensive …as when it comes from me. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there! Sorry for the late reply! But yes, we actually have a lot of articles on escaping your comfort zone and how to create and improve relationships! Below are some of our previous works:

      Expand your comfort zone:
      http://2helpfulguys.com/2015/01/25/expand-your-comfort-zone-today/

      3 Ways to Connect With People More
      http://2helpfulguys.com/2014/11/14/3-ways-to-connect-with-people-more/

      3 Keys To Improving Any Relationship
      http://2helpfulguys.com/2015/01/28/three-keys-to-improving-any-relationship/

      1 Timeless Way To Improve Any Relationship
      http://2helpfulguys.com/2015/03/18/1-timeless-way-to-improve-all-your-relationships/

      I hope these links aren’t too late. The biggest thing she has to overcome is getting our of her comfort zone and her fear of new situations and people. I hope those links help! Please let us know if she needs anything extra. And if anything, don’t hesitate to contact us (via contact page) and we’ll give you a more concise answer to her (or your) questions!

      Like

    1. You’re right. Sometimes you just have to relinquish control. We can’t control everything in ours. But we can control the most important aspect – our perception and outlook!

      Thank you for the comment! Love your input! 🙂

      Like

  2. Very nice article (I usually like your articles 🙂 ). I agree it is essential to take control of ones life. As you say: we can’t control anything else but ourselves. But as a person who’s been severely depressed and told that I just have to be more positive, I tend to stay away from black and white labels as “optimistic” or “pessimistic”, since I don’t feel it greets a person with compassion and understanding. But I get your message: perception is an important tool as well and we can choose our battles (most of them).
    Thank you for reminding me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for such kind words! We truly appreciate it!

      I hope you’re dealing with your depression well. Personally, we’ve never faced clinical depression, but when we do get into our schlumps, we have to remember that it is about mindset.

      We can never completely relate to your feelings, but we believe that through sheer self-management and surrounding ourselves with positive vibes – thoughts, feeling and actions – we can slowly begin to change our mood.

      If you ever need any assistance, don’t hesitate to contact us (via the contact page) and we can respond to any personal questions you may have.

      Until then, I hope you’re doing well!
      Sincerely,
      Leroy Milton, 2HelpfulGuys

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “Optimism, like pessimism, is a choice…” well stated. As a man of faith, I surrender control of my life to God and then I control how I respond to life events.

    Like

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