Pour Out Your Soul, Fill The Void

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been depressed in the past. I’ve looked in the mirror without being able to understand the person looking back at me.

What do you want? What makes you happy? Why do you feel this void inside regardless of how things appear on the outside?

During these slumps I spent most of my time sleeping, eating out of boredom, devouring whole seasons of shows and consuming whatever I could to satisfy the feeling, or lack there of, inside me.
I felt unfulfilled and useless.

I still feel this way sometimes but I’ve learned how to push through it with one simple question that I ask myself every morning.

Do I want to be a consumer, or a producer?

Logically, if you feel an emptiness inside you, you are missing something that will make you feel complete again. I learned that this isn’t the case.

Instead of taking things in I started to pour everything out of myself. I poured out my heart, my emotions, my soul into my writing. It made me feel something that I hadn’t felt in a long time…

Producing pride.

Downward spirals and never ending consumption will lead to guilt. It’s a cycle. You’re empty so you try to distract or satisfy yourself with movies, video games or food but it doesn’t change anything and the more you consume, the more guilty and empty you feel.

Pouring out what you have left in you into something, anything, can make you proud again. You have something to look forward to instead of just passing the time.

It doesn’t have to be art.

You can start a business, volunteer to help build homes for people or even just create deeper connections with the people around you. As long as you are producing something that allows you to look forward and feel like you are useful.

Think of anything you can put into the world today and start on it. Happiness is more about where you are going than where you are now.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to take things in.

You just have to find a balance. Someone who spends all day being creative and working is bound to burn out eventually. That can be just as bad.

I feel that most people are unbalanced right now. As a society we have lost a lot of creativity and self-esteem. We think that we don’t have anything of value to add to the world, but imagine if people tried to live up to their full potential.

Imagine if they stopped trying to fill the void with material possessions, or distract themselves from it with movies, games and Facebook.

Writing in this blog and creating deeper connections with the people around me has helped me so much. I feel like I have something to offer the world again and although I go into slumps sometimes, I can pull myself out much quicker.

Maybe the void is meant to push you forward. I don’t know if I will ever be completely happy, but if I was, would I continue to push on?

I’ll probably never have to find out because the void is a part of me, and for now, I’ll pour out my soul from it.

With love,
Steven Farquharson, 2HelpfulGuys

108 thoughts on “Pour Out Your Soul, Fill The Void

  1. This is a beautiful sentiment and a worthy idea. I also find myself in that depressive rut, frustrated with everything around me. But I’ve also found that my writing is usually at its best when I’m depressed or feeling off. The next time a big wave hits, I think I’ll focus some energy on that book idea I had a couple of months ago. It needs to get written anyway. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Beautiful, now you have a plan for the next time one of these moods hit, which we all now it will eventually. When we are depressed we can often create the most amazing art, it’s an interesting dynamic. Thank you for sharing your perspective. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve always tried to look for the best way to deal with the issues we all inevitably face. I’m glad that I am doing a half decent job in this goal! Thank you for sharing your appreciation and encouragement, it means so much to me!

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      1. You’re welcome!!! I love your work and will continue sharing for my readers to see! Thank you and please do keep writing 🙂

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  2. I often experience slumps where I don’t watch what I eat and generally feel more lethargic. My reflection will automatically appear to be a different person. I will smile less and feel less engaged in the world.

    But I think those moments, no matter how much I resent them, have taught me and given me perspective.

    When I am out of them, I can quickly recall and recount those moments and understand that that ‘me’ bears is different to this ‘me’. And tomorrow’s ‘me’ will again not be the same as today’s ‘me’.

    Never has the constant of change felt more real than at that time.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These slumps are impossible to avoid, but I’m glad that you seek to gain as much out of them as you can. They can really teach you a lot about yourself and though we hate them, it seems they are necessary. Thank you for sharing your perspective and stopping by at our blog. I honestly appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great way to look at it, and I have found the same thing to be true for myself. It’s weird how counterintuitive it is, that trying to fill the void just leaves you emptier, and seeking to pour yourself into a purpose is what we are meant to live for. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You managed to put my whole idea into one single beautifully crafted sentence. I’m glad that you really took something from my article, it makes me proud, I won’t lie. I appreciate your kind words to the moon and back!

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  4. Wow, did you reach into my poor tired brain and see that? This is exactly how I have been lately. Feeling guilty because I haven’t been doing much (Netflix, games) but when I get an opportunity to do something I have fear of failing so I just go back to Netflix and games. The longer this has been happening, the worse I feel. Thank you for posting this as it makes me face what I’ve been doing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great article. I do have a follow up question if I may…

    What would you recommend for someone that is feeling both unfulfilled and burnt out? I love writing and I try to do it everyday, but lately it’s started feeling a little…futile I guess is the word.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a tricky one. I have couple suggestions you can try. First, try bringing the fun back to writing. Write about things you don’t normally write about, maybe try writing a funny story. You could look for humor blogs and guest post on one. Think to the past of times where you were writing just for fun and try to recreate that without the stress of worrying whether or not it will be “good” or whether it will get you somewhere. Another thing you can do is to back away from writing for a week and try something completely new in a separate area of your life. Taking a class you might enjoy, going out and meeting people or learning something new. Fulfillment doesn’t always come from where you would expect it to. If writing isn’t fulfilling you right now then ask yourself where else you could gain that sense of fulfillment.

      If you feel like your writing lately has been futile, you could try sending some of your favorite writings out to blogs for guest posts or enter them into competitions. You could even try to get featured in a local newspaper. If you get new feedback from your writing it might energize you again.

      I might sit down and write a post about this some day soon, but until then I hope this has helped. Thank you for taking the time to comment and make sure not to be a stranger!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey Steven, i’m so glad you’ve written this as its something i can really relate to.
    It always feels great to do something when your producing rather than consuming. I was depressed for a while previously and spent weeks wasting away consuming excessively and never feeling better.
    You’re completely right it is about finding an in between 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad that you could take something out of my article. We all go through these slumps and lose sight of what is important to us. It takes a lot of courage to face it and pull yourself out. You have my deepest thanks for coming over here to read and share. It has made my day. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thank you so much for sharing this! I really appreciate it. I tried putting my heart into this and I was a little worried that it wasn’t as “useful” as my normal articles. I’m glad that you liked it. 😀

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  7. Thanks for sharing your experience. Great advices to think about. When we miss something inside, we often start filling it up in an unhealthy way instead of looking what we really need and then implement this in our life.
    I have been down with depression for years, but it is possible to find the light again, I did. By personal development.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The idea of producing and pouring out is exactly why I recently started writing my own blog. I don’t expect many people to read it but it is a fantastic creative, emotional and thoughtful outlet for me. I think more people need to embrace this idea of producing happiness. Things do not just happen, we make them happen. Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are one hundred percent right, happiness is something you have to go out and make sometimes. Writing is a great way to create that. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your perspective!

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  9. One thing to add: Most important in those phases is, continue loving yourself. Yes, you have the right also to feel down and depressed. You do not need additionaly to critizise yourself – this will be definitely a very quick downward spiral.
    But: You have to practice it. Be aware of those phases – also of those moments you hate yourself (this can be of course the case). Then you do not go on with blaming yourself – just accept the situation as it is at the moment. Stay 1 minute in this self-awareness moment. And be proud that you are aware of it. Just be proud of yourself, try it and practice it! This sounds like a very small step – yes, it is, but it is a very good beginning for the further steps – they will get bigger and bigger…

    Be patient with yourself – and don’t forget: You are the number one – take care of yourself, it is only your responsibility to do that. And it is your right!

    So: I will cross my finger for everybody of us – and: wisely spoken – even my next downward spiral is waiting somewhere 🙂 I know that – but when it is coming, I am well prepared…

    So, folks – take care and be proud of yourself! You are allowed to do so 🙂

    Have all a nice weekend!

    Cheers, Julia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing is, it is absolutely crucial that no matter what happens in your life you try to love yourself and not beat yourself up too much.

      Your point on self awareness is also very important, if you can be self aware you can find a way out or even just keep your head above water.

      Thank you again for sharing this, I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Reblogged this on Zi's Beauty Balm and commented:
    I personally suffer from Depression & Anxiety with the occassional panic attack. So You are not alone. Feel as if you can’t talk to friends or family about it if you have to, I greatly advise to see a professional find out from your doctor who is out there that can help. The first time I was depressed (though not clinically, I knew the reason I was and that I might be. So maybe in a way i didn’t think i was really depressed, but just really sad liek I had never been before.
    This is when (at some point) I got into beading and other crafts. Things like this can be therapy in a way. They quiet whatever is giving me an attack and so on. I did tell my doctor and whatever the medication was, was not the right one for me I think once it kicked in and made me worse and more panic-y. (This was on a Thanksgiving morning so I really was NOT happy that day or thankful the way I was feeling. Also there is no hotline for those with anxiety/depression to call there’s only the suicide hotline which when i called (not planning to do so but looking I was in a real panic) had a messege for those who were thinking of commiting suicide to call some other number or go to the emergency room.
    What the beginning says about sleeping, eating (well i didn’t eat much, never was hungry & lost weight. i would end up only eating because I knew it was breakfast time or lunch etc.). I keep a journal (actually more than one. THere’s a dail or semi daily one. I have the 2 that I work on my poetry in, and one with assorted stuff. (besically i even collect journals! I already have my daily one for next year (& hope that the 300+ pages will be enough to last at least half the eyar for those longer entries. Mainy I write all sorts in it. Movie reviews, What’s gone on, any ideas I may get for crafts and so on. I have also been working on a story since 2011 then came up with an idea for another (only I have only notes for that one) and now I’ve been working on another so that’s 3 stories simutaneaously and my blogging is getting in the way! 😉 The first one I started I’m a bit stuck on as well I forget some of what I wanted to write so I may have to rework the story (& trying to get one page right is the reason I lost some of my ideas).
    There have been those that have said I needed to get a life, when they see me reading, or writing Or if I tell them I like making things like jewelry. I tell them to go get a hobby & they say I’m too busy. Apparently they think being (or at least sounding) busy means they are important. This to me, means likely they are not. hobbies are supposed to be a way for you to relax (though with the beading, sometimes I can get frustrated but that’s for another time)
    Anyway… there are many ‘therapies’ for Depression (or what may feel like it) but as I said if you feel as if you do not have friends or family that you can talk to, (& maybe can’t afford to get proper help) I’m not a professional but I will try to help you from experience. (which sometimes can be better as we’d might understand each other more)

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m very familiar with depression and can identify with much that has been said here. I work to stay out if it with activities and writing. I try to find the funny side of things and that will help. I tried medications but prefer to be the real me and use other self help methods.

    I just read an article in my WordPress feed about the mental health benefits of writing. I think it’s true. I reblogged it, if you want to find it.

    Thanks for sharing your heart. We never know who we will help by doing so 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meditation is something that has worked for me, but I have tried almost everything out there. I like your idea of looking at the funny side of things. If you are laughing you can’t possibly be sad, right? I’ll check out that article you re-blogged, I’m sure it’s good as you seem like a really intelligent person. Thanks for coming over this way!

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  12. Love that you are writing about this – I write about it too. This time of year (holidays, holidaze, solstice darkness, turning within, family ghosts, etc.) always leaves me a bit tender and vulnerable – at best! It’s comforting to know that others feel similarly and I am a big believer of feeling the abyss, allowing it, letting it pass through vs. avoid. Surrender. The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer, has been a great companion for me at times like this. Sending love and light.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the way you write, it has such a touch of spirituality. That is a side that I have been exploring a lot recently, though I don’t quite write about it here. Thank you for sending your positivity and sharing your experiences with me. Lots of love, keep putting that light out in to the world!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I too have gone through times of feeling spiritually empty and “less than”. Like you, I found that focusing creative endeavors aimed at a greater good brought a wealth of positive energy into my life. Volunteering at animal rescue organizations was another amazing way to fill my life with positive energy, and give me a sense of fulfillment. Doing something for somebody else, no matter how small, always brings me out of a slump.

    I never thought about this in terms of producing instead of consuming, but you are right. I liked your comment about finding and maintaining balance, no matter what our focus. Your candid honesty and straightforward approach to very real issues is wonderful. Never doubt that you are making a difference. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that you could take something from my writing and I’m even happier that you have added your own perspective. Volunteering is a great way to get out of these slumps. Sometimes even just spending some quality time appreciating a pet will make pull you out of a funk.

      Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this subject, it has given me a couple of ideas and made my day a lot better. Don’t be a stranger, you’re always appreciated here!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. OOOH I do know how you feel. And most times I find myself depressed is when spiritually lonely. Lonely for the way things use to be before minds were contaminated with the negative-electron train of thoughts; lonely from the absence of being surrounded with minds waking to remember their celestial heritage; minds hungry enough to at the least consider possibilities outside the box, even if it means to rethink everything they thought they knew

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There is a lot of truth in your words. I can stave off those particular feelings of loneliness by telling myself that I am doing my best to release people from that state. I see a lot of people living half lives without passion or full awareness and it can get to me sometimes. All we can do is try our best to become an example for others and lead them out. Thank you for sharing your perspective, I appreciate it.

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  15. I’m now 30 and three years ago I just decided to go to University and study Events Management. Possibly the best decision I ever made in my life. Last year I spent 6 weeks in South Africa volunteering for EDGE of AFRICA. The most single greatest experience of my life. I have now graduated from Uni and seeking employment (which is proving to be rather difficult). But I just wanted to do ‘something’ and I did it 🙂 And now I’m starting a blog of my experiences.

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    1. Wow, that is an amazing story! You are brave my friend, I really respect that. If you feel like doing that ‘something’ you have to do it. I’m glad you enjoyed it so much, taking big steps like that can have the biggest rewards. I would love to travel to South Africa one day, one of my childhood friends was from there. Thank you for sharing and I hope our readers will check out your blog. It should be interesting for sure!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. What a wonderful assessment of our modern times. Despite the multitude of avenues to connect with others, we also have even more ways to isolate ourselves. Sometimes we need to go “down the rabbit hole” to gather inspiration. If we can turn those difficult times into something productive, creative, or otherwise beneficial, then I think it has purpose. Fortunately for me, my formal education includes both science and art. I think I have gained understanding and appreciation for the emotionally challenging times as fuel for being artistically creative and for empathizing with patients.
    Keep up the great work, I look forward to your next post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s amazing that you have taken something I wrote that was abstract to a point, and really analyzed it in a way that makes it easier to put to use. These dark times can have very positive outcomes if you are looking for them. Thank you so much for sharing this beautifully written comment, you are really adding value here and I appreciate that!

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  17. Another great post, and a great message to go along with it. We have to fight these types of things when they threaten to get us down, and if it doesn’t work the first time, then we have to try again. I’ve spent a lot of my life fighting the battles of this nature, and maybe I didn’t win every time, but it’s the ones I won that made it easier for me to win the next one. So thanks for the reminder and for the encouragement. I’ll read you again later.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so glad that you have enjoyed not just this post, but other posts from us in the past. We are hoping to really develop a good community of readers that not only gain value from us, but engage with our audience and provide value to them. You have truly done that here. You are always welcome to stop by and share your uplifting words, we value them deeply.

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  18. Reblogged this on The Needy Narcissist. and commented:
    I think depression is all too common in today’s society. The world is a much bigger place than it was in the previous years. With new technology, the constant need to make money, it is extremely easy to fall victim into not being enough. I have been a victim of this and I am still a victim of this sometimes. However, it is in sharing the creativity or just kind words that can help a person beyond any imaginable measure. Thanks for the wonderful advice, 2helpfulguys! Please give their blog a look. I don’t think you’ll regret it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so amazing for sharing this article and giving us such a great review. People like you are the reason that we can keep going when we feel unnoticed sometimes. If we can continue to help people see new perspectives and take new actions, then we have honored our purpose. Thank you again for sharing this, I can’t tell you how much it means to us.

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  19. Thank you for this honest insight into your soul. Being active definitely helps when being down. Cycling is one of my favorite ways to overcome sadness and the inner void. The more exhausting, the better the cure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like your approach, the more it exhausts you, the more it gets you out of your head and into your body. I tend to choose creative outlets but I go to the gym as well to help. Thanks for sharing your perspective, I’m sure some of our readers will try this out and find success!

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  20. My blog has been a great outlet for my depression – and I’ve only been doing this for one week now. For me, it’s not just about creating something, it’s also about sharing this and making someone’s life a tiny bit better because of it. Sometimes all it takes for us to feel better is to know that we are not going through this alone.

    Virtual hugs to all the depressed souls out there, trying to get through this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You and I are very similar! I use this website and movement to help explore my emotions, but also to help other people learn from my mistakes and revelations. If we can make a person’s life a little bit easier it is absolutely worth it. Thank you so much for sharing this, I hope our readers will take a moment to check out your blog and gain a new perspective.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. You made some great points that I could relate to. I’ve been in the mindless eating/TV watching spot before and it just pulled me deeper into the hole because then I would berate myself about all the ‘wasted’ time. It’s healthy to have an outlet for our energy, whether it be writing, painting, learning something new – anything. .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I know exactly what you are talking about. It just becomes an automatic cycle at a certain point and it can be hard to snap out of. Doing something new or picking back up an old interest can pull you out of the rut. I’m glad we can relate! Thank you for taking the time to comment, it means a lot.

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