LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOURSELF

“Everything I ever do blows up in my face.”

He is slumped forward in his chair, avoiding eye contact and fidgeting with his hands.

“Everyone told me to get a car. ‘It will help’ they said. I didn’t need it, I lost everything I had worked for in eight months.”

“People told me to go to school, they said it would help. Now I’ve wasted four years and I’m in debt.”

I didn’t really know what to say to him. Most lessons we encounter in life are only remembered because they leave scars.

That day, he peeled back the scar tissue and showed me the painful lesson he had learned.

dont let

Don’t life your life according to someone else’s curriculum.

I recently quit my job. The place I work at was infamous for trapping people and keeping them forever.

I had been there seven years, I was making better money than I would elsewhere but it no longer felt right to me.

It was a toxic environment that was chipping away at my mental stability.

I was due for a raise and I figured that the extra money would make it more bearable. That I would be able to stand it if I just made a little more.

But the raise came and went, and I was still coming home feeling drained and depressed.

So I quit.

People warned me that I would not make as much anywhere else.

They poked and prodded me to find out what my plans were so that they could talk about me behind my back.

“He wants to go to Spain and travel for a year, he won’t be able to afford that.”

“This 2HelpfulGuys thing isn’t going to go anywhere. He should have just stayed here and saved.”

Living to appease those around you will never lead to happiness.

Our whole lives we are told what we should do.

People tell you that you should go to school, get a job, find a spouse, mortgage a house, raise a family.

I didn’t want to go down this path and I can feel how uncomfortable it makes people around me.

As soon as I tell people about my dreams, writing books, public speaking, motivating people, starting businesses, they immediately warn me of the inevitable outcomes.

“You only have a 1% chance to make it. What about retirement? Where is the job security?”

Whenever people tell you what you can or can’t do, remember that it is just a reflection of their own limitations.

These people never chased their dreams.

They left them to die somewhere in the past.

In a classroom where the teacher said they couldn’t make it. Or in their living room where there parents told them that they would amount to nothing without a degree and stable job.

I know too many people with degrees they will never use, material objects that bring them no joy and lives that leave them unfulfilled.

All so that people will say “Oh, that’s good for you.” When asked what they have been up to.

I have no idea where my future will take me.

What I do know is that as long as I am following what I believe is my purpose in life, I’ll be happy.

I know people don’t believe in me when I tell them my goals, but I don’t need their approval.

The only approval I need is from the man in the mirror. When I am home alone, contemplating my life, everyone else in the world may as well not exist.

They will come and go like seasons in my life. The only opinion that matters is the one staring back from the glass.
And right now he is thinking “You’re doing the right thing, you’ve got this.”

81 thoughts on “LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOURSELF

  1. I wish there were a recipe for happiness. I have been in the above space for years. Emotions are like a yo-yo. We are always up and down. Congratulations on taking a great step. The only opinion that matters is indeed your own, but keeping that ship on course is a steady challenge.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have honestly summed it up perfectly. It is a challenge to keep ourselves afloat, but at least if we are the captain of our own ship we can fly our flag with pride. Thank you for sharing your encouragement with me. I appreciate it so much.

      Like

  2. Thanks for sharing your story. I also had to take a similar step. For me it was having the bravery to stand up and say I’m not scared that I may fail to become a doctor, it’s what I want to do and I’m going to do it.

    I had also experienced this in a different setting. After graduating and working for a year I decided to travel. That ended up lasting for four years and all along the way people looked at me like I was strange for doing what I wanted to do at that time. But you know what it make me happy and I have some wicked stories to tell 😉

    Like

    1. Hopefully I’ll be able to gain experiences that will push me forward in life, as well as giving me some stories to tell. It’s amazing that you have decided to go after your dream and shoot for the moon.
      You can do it for sure, just put the work in. You will make it if you are following your true passion! Stop by again anytime.

      Like

  3. Reblogged this on My Life In Medicine and commented:
    Sometimes being daring is the first step. This was definitely the case for me when deciding at the age of 27 to embark on training that means I will not earn any money until I’m 33 and give thousands hour of my life to studying. But I have found what I love so I know it’s worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As long as you don’t endanger anyone else, have no obligations that need to be met, then what you say is the only way to live. It is so wonderful that we live in a country that we can set a target for ourselves, and then go for it! Full gusto! Good luck and keep us posted.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are definitely right. Having the freedom to set goals and go after them is one of the greatest blessing a person can have. I will put my heart into my passions and make my life something I can be proud of. Thank you for the encouragement. Don’t be a stranger, we’d love to have you perspective on our ideas more often!

      Like

  5. Lovely post – I quit a well paid job a year ago because it also didn’t feel right. No sense of fulfilment. Now I am in a completely different career, working with children and young people with Autism. Took a step back financially but a step forward happily.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In the end that is really all that matters. What is the point of the extra money if you are unhappy with your life? Hearing your story is reaffirming my belief that this is what I need to do. Thank you so much for sharing, I truly appreciate it!

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      1. How kind thank you. How is it going for you? My Hubby and have gone after some dreams ourselves and heading towards more it may seem. Scary as all get out but worth it to know.

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      2. To be honest, my life has felt so much more satisfying now that I am actively heading towards my dreams. It is true that it can be a scary road, but it can also be a more exciting, fulfilling and interesting road as well. It’s good to know that other people can push past their fear, or push on despite it, towards their dreams.

        Like

  6. Reblogged this on ashelynj's Blog and commented:
    This spoke to me. I’m currently feeling the pressure of having to lead a mundane existence, but I refuse to. This gave me the push I needed to continue forward living the life I want to live. Maybe it could inspire you too 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All of our boats are slightly different, but as long as we are controlling our own sails we can rest assured that we will live a life we can be proud of. Thank you for joining in on the conversation, I appreciate your contribution!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. “I have no idea where my future will take me.

    What I do know is that as long as I am following what I believe is my purpose in life, I’ll be happy.

    I know people don’t believe in me when I tell them my goals, but I don’t need their approval.

    The only approval I need is from the man in the mirror. When I am home alone, contemplating my life, everyone else in the world may as well not exist.

    They will come and go like seasons in my life. The only opinion that matters is the one staring back from the glass.”

    This . . . awesome and so right. You’ve nailed it so perfectly. Nobody knows where their future will take them, and really, that’s the adventure if this game of life. As long as you’re following what you believe in, everything will work out. One thing a lot of people have problems with – I have even experienced this at times – is thinking they need others’ approval. So wrong. Self-approval is all that matters.

    I really enjoyed this post, and the way it was written . . . it wasn’t boring at all. Very unique. Very awesome. Thanks for the follow. Without it, I wouldn’t have come across this 🙂

    Like

    1. I have learned the hard way that seeking the approval of others is a dangerous game where you risk losing your happiness and self respect. I’m even happier with my decision to follow your blog considering it led to this amazing exchange of positivity. I hope to hear from you again, soon and often. I’ll keep trying to inspire you, if you’ll keep inspiring me. Again, thank you so much, I truly appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. ‘As soon as I tell people about my dreams, writing books, public speaking, motivating people, starting businesses, they immediately warn me of the inevitable outcomes.’
    One seriously does get treated like you have lost all sanity AND responsibility.
    There are different kinds of people in this world:
    Those who see the responsibilities of life as life itself.
    OR
    Those who see life – and the responsibilities just as a matter of fact – things that are basic and common sense.
    The latter I find are much more open to stepping beyond the shackles of the treadmill.
    Amazing how one gets treated like they have forgotten the obvious about living in this world…YES – we DO know we have to pay the bill, work hard, build a safety net of some sort (WHEN and IF we are to raise a family) – YES – we do know we have to take into consideration reality and all that comes with it…but in the meantime while we are doing all that – we can do SOMETHING ELSE ON TOP.
    You know when you are energized with passion and goals and dreams you work toward – all the the things that would stress you out before when life is just a one way road to the grave – become – easy to get around.
    Anyway – rambling on!
    GREAT outlook – GREATER write – AND GREATEST of wishes for all the best in your goals and dreams!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow, you have a way with words my friend!
      You are 100% correct. If you have passion and a good work ethic the obstacles in your way can be seen in a completely different light. I can tell that this is a subject you are passionate about and your comment has actually helped me to better understand it. Thank you so much for the well wishes and compliments, you have inspired me to continue on my path and not let others shackle me!

      Like

      1. That is awesome! I just think you have a lovely positive blog going here – and I LOVE that!! SO much misery around, you know?
        Anyhow – yes I AM passionate about people being true to themselves -(and I DO go on a bit)
        But you really gave me a smile to know that the words bring hope and a bit of clarity to what you instinctively – already know – within you.
        Stay True! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Reblogged this on Immersing In Truth and commented:
    Ahhh man, if this did not speak to me. This reminded me of when I quit my job last October. I did it to finish my last semester of grad school. Two days after I quit my job, I started Immense Expression Creative Consulting. I’m currently in professional limbo, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You’d be happy to know lots of people these days are taking a similar turn as you’ve described. The times they are a’ changin. It’s just a matter of time before the rest of the world catches up. Until then, keep on fighting for what makes you happy!

    Like

  11. Great post. There is a culture of bitterness in corporate America now. Many of us are ‘economically drafted’ to serve companies we would rather not be a part of, but we become trapped. Before we even realized what was happening our salaries ensured we were tied down with mortgage payments, and debt, and child care–so when we see someone break out of that environment our jealousy and bitterness eats away at our hearts. It’s no way to live.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have explained this situation comprehensively and elegantly. I really could not have said it better myself. I honestly feel bad for the people that hate others out of jealousy. It is a hate that is actually rooted in their own sadness. Hopefully people can escape this way of living and become an example of how to do the same.

      Like

  12. Stephen I love that you quit your Job! I fired myself 7 months ago. My boss thought I was joking! Went from 38 hours as a dental hygienist to a part time temp service in my field and I travel! Yep On a budget sometimes it is cheaper than staying home! Yea my husband has a “little expendable income”. yet we just have this pack that we know the money will show up! I used to tell people when we take a leap of faith it moves us faster into our dreams.NOW we are our dreams..so poopoo to the nasayers! Heart to heart Robyn

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    1. I love that you said the leap of faith moves us faster into our dreams. I agree with that 100% and I’m hoping that is what happens in my case. It’s great to hear from someone who has been through a similar scenario. Thank you so much for sharing, it helps my confidence!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I agree with your perspective on living your life as you so choose and you will be happy.
    If I did everything everyone else wanted of me I would certainly not be living where I am, doing what I am doing with the network of friends that I have.

    Like

  14. Great post and a good reminder that everyone should live their lives the way they want, not the way their family/friends/colleagues want. I think you’re very brave for quitting your job and I hope you, and this blog, all the best 🙂 Also thanks for following my blog!

    Like

    1. Sometimes it’s hard to live your life for yourself, but if you don’t you’ll regret it right? Thank you so much for the kind words and believe me when I say the feeling is completely mutual. I wish you all the best in your ventures, kind people like you deserve all the great things life can offer!

      Like

  15. wonderful! I had to fight hard to leave my home town in the north of England, train as a concert musician and become self-employed here in London, UK. Some people are extremely negative. Life is full of challenges, but so often people are ready to belittle and present reasons why dreams can’t come true.

    Excellent article, and glad you stuck to your principles.

    Like

  16. Thankyou very much….I think I am at times not sure where my destiny is but I am hopeful that I will be able to achieve my dreams. I agree that we do not need an approval from anyone else apart from the person in the mirror..
    May the Almighty God bless you as you continue to inspire many

    Like

  17. A couple of days ago I was pissed at exactly the same type of behavior. It was not directed towards me but towards someone I know and it was unbearable for me. I want this, this thing you wrote, this thing you believe in to be a part of EVERYONE’S life. Esp those who want to chase their dreams but are being constantly discouraged by others. And that all of us who have no concern about job security, and the so-called other norms, we should STOP caring what others think. I want people to be brave enough to not care. So the world may have people like you and I and all those who have big dreams. Actually the world is running because of all the dreamers and achievers and the rest of them are just supporting them indirectly – those who never had the guts to chase their own dreams. I love people who are dreamers and make a name for themselves doing what they love. I wish you all the best in your life.

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    1. Your words of inspiration are absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t agree with you more. If you aren’t working for your own dreams, whether you realize it or not, you are working for someone else’s dream. People should be braver. People shouldn’t hate others for sticking their neck out there and going after their dreams. I can’t stand this type of behavior, I just hope that when I make my dreams come true, I inspire as many people as possible to chase theirs. Chasing whatever it is you want in life is what makes life worth living.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It has made my day that much better. Don’t be a stranger, I’d love to see you around here more often!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Having the courage to go after your dreams and stepping into the unknown without worrying about the world requires a great deal of courage and faith in oneself. I salute this courage and spirit of yours and you have indeed inspired me a lot. I would like to ask you one thing which you may also write about it in your next post or reply here only. How do you even proceed towards something when you are not even sure it is a right path for you? Yes it may be a dream, that seemingly impossible one but dream which has been at the back of your mind since always. But how do you develop that unshakable faith and belief in that dream which can inspire you to take some action or take some bold step with huge risks involved. I hope you have got my point and understood my dilemma. I am really looking forward to hearing from you on this.

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    1. I have a feeling you will get your answer in my next post. Thank you so much for the request. I usually write whatever has been on my mind lately, but my goal is to help people so if I can directly help someone I will do it every time. I post on Sundays (Tomorrow) so check back!

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  19. I really liked this. I’m at a point (almost out of high school) where I’m getting pressures on how to live my life, and though I’ve already decided to do my own thing despite the flak, I found your post inspiring!

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    1. Sometimes seeing that someone else has made the same decision can boost your confidence going forward. I’m glad that my post has inspired you. You’re ability to make this great decision right out of high school honestly inspires me as well.

      Liked by 2 people

  20. Lovely and honest post, Steven. Good on you for following your heart and sticking to it. It seems we are on the same page in many ways as I have been through a career change years ago and have several casual fun jobs now. Even though the money situation is a bit more challenging at times, I have not regretted my choices and feel extremely happy with my life now. So much so, that I also want to share the happy vibes with others that are still learning how to be really happy. This gave me the incentive to start my blog back in May this year. Thank you so much for liking and following my blog, I look forward to your feedback 🙂 http://happypollyesther.com

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    1. You are 100% correct, we seem to be on a very similar wavelength. I am hoping that I will be able to handle this challenge as gracefully as you. Thank you for taking the time to share your words with me, and you can expect my feedback very soon. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  21. It took time, but I am finally living my dream for the past seven years. It just keeps getting better and long surpassed anything I could have imagined.
    Thank you for choosing to follow one of my blogs. I hope you will continue to enjoy the posts. Léa

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  22. Great read. Too many people are bound to the society around them without realizing that most people in society are miserable and do as they are told and not what they believe. That is why mediocrity runs rampant in this world because people rather be comfortable instead of being filled with ambition and chasing their dreams. Who cares what everybody else says, they are just ones who believes dreams are meant to stay in your head. I wanted to share: http://entrepreneurialambitions.com/2014/10/06/arrested-development/

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    1. I like your article! I definitely agree. People build all these imaginary walls because of the warnings they have been given in the past. They’ve heard all to often that only the top 1% can reach their dreams and that they are born with something we don’t have. Dreams are meant to become reality, that is each person’s purpose.
      Thank you so much for sharing. We are always looking for people to guest post, if you are interested contact us using the “Contact” page. Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Thanks for sharing your story. Interesting that I was at my job the same number of years (7) before I quit. Sometimes I think “what a stupid mistake”. I mean my whole entire identity was wrapped up in that job. It’s where I was recognized, climbed the ladder, received awards, and pretty things that sparkled, but I was so miserable. I just couldn’t go on another day. So, I left. Believe me, I understand what you are going through. I wish you all the best. I believe in following your dreams no matter how ugly the journey may get. So press on. Don’t give up! Whatever you most desire will come to be. It always does. I just hate the journey to it sometimes, but I’m gaining my stride, and learning to enjoy the unpredictability of the waters a little bit at a time.

    Renee

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    1. Sometimes the road can be ugly and scary. I’m so glad that other people have gone through what I am going through right now. It makes me feel a lot better about what may lie ahead in the future. I’m learning to enjoy the rocky waters. It weighs on my mind sometimes but I think I’ll get through it. Thanks for sharing your encouragement and story. I appreciate it!

      Like

  24. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and it seems we both live in a very similar manner. Maybe you have a better idea what you’ll be doing tomorrow. But I really kind of like not knowing. I’ll be popping back in just to see how things are going, and maybe to steal an idea or two, but I always leave one in return. Just kidding. I don’t steal things, my head comes up with enough stuff of my own to keep me busy. Anyway, I enjoyed the visit, and I’ll see you again.

    Like

  25. Reblogged this on Crystil Lady and commented:
    So true – We spend so much of our lives trying to live someone elses dream and find that our own life has passed us by leaving so many regrets, thank you for sharing this 🙂

    Like

  26. Thank you for stopping by and following my blog! I’m so glad you did as I LOVE what your are writing about…it must be synchronicity as I just watched The pursuit of Happyness (correct spelling!) same message really stuck out – don’t let anyone tell you what you cant do as its a reflection of their own limitations’…we all need to follow our own dreams no matter what- I know I put mine on hold for far too long…and a blog like yours really sends out that positive message – thank you!

    Like

    1. I’m glad that I could have an impact on you, even if it might be small. I love “The pursuit of Happyness” it is such an inspiring film. I watch that move sometimes when I am feeling unmotivated and it gives me a much needed boost. Thank you so much for dropping by and taking the time out of you day to shar your kinds words!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. I thought you read Skinner, when you are home alone and staring into the mirror, the rest of the world DOESN’T exist. Live your own life my friend, and not that it should matter to you anyway (and it probably doesn’t) but I think you’ll do just fine. Read you later.

    Like

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