A Pillar in Success

Personally, I used to always struggle with confidence. I do not want to make it seem like I’m complaining about my past, so I shall spare all the spicy details.

Long story short, I struggled with confidence. I am still infected with this ‘disease’ (because that is what IT really is), but not as frequently or severely.

There are two forms of confidence, outer and inner. Outer confidence comes from material items such as money, cars, clothes, etc. These are superficial, in my opinion. Inner confidence comes from within. It encompasses everything you are and are proud of.

Building inner confidence is a fundamental pillar in the structure we call life. Here is how I started to build inner confidence. Try it, it may work for you as well.

1) Don’t Be Afraid to Fail

Everyone is afraid of failing. I am guilty, I’ll be the first to admit it. But I feel like you have to fail, a lot, to really understand inner confidence. Confidence has to be built through failure.

Through failure you learn where your strengths and weaknesses lie. You learn how to approach the situation differently. You learn how to improve, develop and progress.

You need to fail. It is an important process in the struggle to succeed. Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it and fail a lot. Then, learn. Learn how to overcome and improve.

Everything is an experience and there is no getting worse. It is built in our genetic code, the more we do something, the better we get. It is a basic repetition principle. Through failing you improve AND build inner confidence, all wrapped in one neat little ball.

2) Be Yourself

Too many people are afraid to be themselves. We all put up walls to hide our true selves. We all keep the ‘embarrassing’ areas of our lives for a select few.

“Be yourself” gets thrown around too loosely these days. When I say “be yourself,” I mean to the extreme. Don’t be afraid to express yourself to everybody around you.


Would you rather have safe interactions with everyone who ‘like’ you as an acquaintance or would you rather be polarizing and have some people dislike and some people who absolutely love you.

Be genuine and be you. You are amazing the way you are. You may like constructing ships in bottles or the Backstreet Boys or baton twirling. You may find that embarrassing, but guess what?

That’s you! You love it. Show others that you love it! Weed out the people that don’t love it and embrace the ones that do.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” – Dr. Seuss

3) Don’t give a shit 

Live your life how you want to. Don’t try to live up to anyone else’s rules or the rules of society. They are only there to smush (is that a word?) you in a little cookie cutter. More often than not, most people do not fit in that cookie cutter and feel terrible about it.

The key to not fitting in is to just not fit in. When I was a kid, I used to smush (I’m going to use it anyways) Lego blocks together. I learned very fast that certain blocks do not work well with each other. ss_lego_by_forteallegretto-d3cxjjw

Be that block. Be different. If you want to wear a fuzzy pink and yellow zebra sweater, wear it. If you want to go outside and yell or let loose sometimes, just do it. You need to challenge yourself sometimes to grow.

Inner confidence is the clinch pin to success, fostering relationships and everything else in between.

What do you think about confidence? If you have any tips/tricks on building confidence that have worked for you, please comment below. I would love to hear from you. Till next time readers!

Be bold, be free, and love on.

5 thoughts on “A Pillar in Success

  1. This ties in well with your other posts.
    If we stop worrying about everyone else’s opinion of us then confidence becomes irrelevant – living becomes everything. We’re too busy living to even remember to put on our masks!
    As for failure, if we never fail at anything (because we don’t give it a go) then we’ll never succeed at anything either.
    We were all created to be unique, to be awesome and to have a purpose in our lives – what a shame that we are so self-worried that we never get round to doing it.
    Thanks Leroy. Keep on writing.


    1. I feel like thise masks are the things that hinder us. We are afraid to be judged and ridiculed. We are afraid of what the other person thinks.

      I’ve learned that not everyone is meant to like you. But we have to weed that out through boldness and truth of ourselves.

      You are right about failure. I think that we need to fail more, collectively. It is incredibly important to progress.

      Thanks for the comment Alison (I know from your recent post not to call you any other name, else feel your wrath :P)


      1. Thanks Leroy. My husband said that post was a helpful guide to his life quality as well! 😉
        Just as an aside, do you think you always wear the same mask or does it vary on your ‘audience’ and what you expect they expect?


      2. Awesome! Thanks for sharing it. I have a big goofy smile on my face knowing that someone was helped!

        I think the mask definitely varies according to person/situation. And as you see the person more, the mask is slowly shed.

        I think that you should never wear a mask, and go ‘all in’ with every situation/person


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