The Judge and Jury

I find that I am constantly at arms with myself. I argue and bicker with myself. I reminisce terrible memories. I think about my future and past. I explore all the possible outcomes, good and bad.

I have talked about the two voices in your body before. The brain and heart voice control everything in your body. These two forces centrally control your thoughts and emotions and your actions and reactions.

The brain voice takes over. The brain voice is the judge and the jury. In the grand scheme of everything, your biggest critic is yourself. The rest of the world continues to live their lives, while you wallow in self-turmoil.

You stop yourself from attaining, achieving and progressing. I don’t want to point fingers directly at you. I am equally guilty of this.

Making the List

Setting goals are important. It gives you something to strive towards. It produces an image of an endgame or a stepping-stone towards a possible endgame.

Often, we are afraid of our goals. We set them and see them as daunting. They are daunting. They are scary. But they’re supposed to be scary. The fear is good for your body. Your body (heart voice) is telling you that this NEEDS to be done.

I hate to say it: No one cares about you

Facing the facts, people in general are self-absorbed. No one is looking and no one cares what you do. This goes for the majority of people, obviously. I would hope your friends and family would care if you suddenly started using heroine.

However, aside from your family and close friends, people do not care if you achieve your goals. You can either choose to achieve them or not. But in the end, the only person you are failing is yourself.

It sucks when someone else disappoints you. But that is short-lived. When you fail yourself that is something your brain voice takes control of and replays it endlessly. Do not allow your brain to have that control over you.

the_watcher_and_deadpool_by_skottieyoung-d330e5qNo one is watching

I am guilty of thinking that all eyes are on me. I feel the blank judgmental stares of everyone when I am doing something daunting. It is one of the reasons I feel so out of place talking to girls. I feel like everyone is watching me and waiting for me to screw up.

The same feelings resurfaced when I first started working out. I felt people stare and whisper under their breath, “Who is this fat kid? What is he trying to do? He looks so stupid right now.”

 

But I realized quickly that no one is watching. The majority of people are self-absorbed and cannot see three meters ahead of themselves. Those judgmental stares were all manifested by my brain voice.

No one is watching me, as I stutter when I talk to girls. In fact if they are watching, they are probably wondering, how I managed to muster the testicular fortitude to approach someone.

You have to ignore all the voices and stares, believe in yourself and take a leap of faith. In the grand scheme of things, when you are lying on your deathbed, the last thing you will be thinking about is “I’m glad I played it safe and avoided judgment.”

24 thoughts on “The Judge and Jury

    1. I’ll never understand girls! But I’m starting to think, maybe that’s the point. Maybe we’re not meant to understand girls.

      But yes, I’ll start telling myself that. Maybe it will help!

      Thanks for the advice AND the comment :)))

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      1. It’s never ever too late! Any advice you would like to impart onto me, I’ll always accept!

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      2. Couldn’t agree more! I’ll keep talking and hopefully, I will help someone. As long as I can impact someone’s life positively, I’ll be a happy man.

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      3. that’s it, focus on Leroy,
        follow your own intuition
        even when things ‘seem’ to be going in a way that you are not comfortable with…. it will all work out right!

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      4. I agree a hundred percent. The only thing I am able to control or influence one hundred percent is myself!

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      5. their we go, the more i do that,
        the more i forgive and let go
        the easier it becomes
        the more i can love everybody else
        the more everybody loves me

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  1. who judges the judges? 😉 and btw… it’s not that they don’t care about me, it’s just that it takes all the energy they have to try and keep themselves together 😉

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    1. Haha you are most definitely right. The people that waste the energy criticizing others us just waste time, effort and energy.

      Focusing on yourself is the best use, in my opinion.

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  2. Another good post. Enjoyed reading. It is very true in saying everyone is enjoying while oneself laying in self pity. Beleiving in yourself is the key. Rest is secondary.
    Thank you for posting.keep writing and i will be keep on reading

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  3. On point with the ‘talking to girls’ bit! It took me a while to SEE that; when I did, the girls sure were very very happy 🙂
    Well done!

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    1. It is incredibly hard but I’m doing it.

      It’s a part of life so I have to get better at it. I think it’s all about confidence! I just have to build it.

      Thanks for the comment! 🙂

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  4. Great post. It works all ways. Remember you are just as awesome as the next person. Believe in yourself. Love yourself (not in a weird way!) and you’ll notice a difference in how everyone reacts to you, and how you react to the world. One of the ways I get through goals, life, relationships, etc is to remember that I can choose to let yesterday and yesterdays decisions affect today. I can choose to be afraid, choose to be a victim, choose to be a failure. Instead, I choose life. Sounds to me like you are choosing that option too. Blessings.

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    1. Thanks for thr advice! you are most definitely correct. I have to realize that I am awesome. People can see the energy when that happens.

      On those bad days, it is hard. But you’re right. I choose to be happy or sad. It is easier to choose to be happy. It is easier to choose life.

      Thanks for the comment 🙂

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  5. I wholly agree about goals. I used the GTD (Getting Things Done) method and I’ve not missed a deadline, personal or work, in over a decade.
    I disagree that people don’t care whether you achieve your goals, at least that’s not been my experience. I can think of this in a couple of ways.
    When I achieve a goal I’m a better person. I’m more able. I’m focused. I’m motivated. The effects of achievement affect those around me whether they know I’m doing as I planned or not. If it comes up that I’ve set a target to get X promotion or reach Y weight it comes back to many as motivation for themselves to do better, haters aside.
    If I post a goal on my blog or am working towards something, like my photography, I get positive feedback from almost everyone. Complete strangers will take the time to encourage and sometimes help me along.
    You’re right that ultimately what you do is for you. You must be self motivating. But I’ve achieved great success by watching others achieve and I’m sure I’ve payed it foreword.
    BTW, have you ever read a book called Eat That Frog?

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    1. I’ve never heard of that method! What is it exactly? Is it some sort of “setting a time frame” type method?

      I never thought of it like that. But I do agree with your point. I was kinda in a dark place when I wrote that. But aside, you are right. There a lot of random people in world that do care. I see it here, myself, with this blog. Complete strangers liking and commenting on my stuff (THANK YOU BY THE WAY, YOU MAKE MY HEART SMILE).

      The haters are terrible and I feel like there are a lot as well. But, F*** the haters. They are not worth your or my time!

      Nope, I’ve never read it. But I shall look it up as soon I hit reply on this comment!

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      1. Hate the haters, eh. 😉

        I’ll assume you found out what GTD is. I learned about it in uni and when I entered the workforce the company I was working with used it. A lot of companies use it, including the one I work for all the way over here in Japan.

        Someone eventually turned the idea into programs and apps. Of those, I use OmniFocus. They just came out with a new version (you can download it for free on kickasstorrents). I’ve been updating to the new version, rethinking my yearly plan as it’s June. Key for me is blogging in moderate amounts (I went overboard when I started) and more gym (the place I took that time from). 😉

        You can probably download the book, too, if it interests you. I assign parts of it to my junior students to help them prepare for their senior year.

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      2. Yeah! I gave it a quick google! Seems like a pretty darn good method, if I say so myself! I personally just use daily lists for my activities. I will write down everything I need to accomplish for that day and cross it off as I do it. There is something incredibly satisfying about crossing something a list.

        I will most definitely check it out! Sounds like it is worth a read! Thanks for the recommendation. I’m always looking for new books to read!

        Thanks for the comment. 😀

        Like

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