Sifting through my life is always interesting. I examine all my flaws and come up with ways to improve. I try my hardest to improve in all ways, but sometimes it’s incredibly difficult to grasp.
Recently, I’ve sorted all the various desires in my life into wants and needs. It really puts everything into perspective. It makes you appreciate all the little things that you may have taken for granted.
I need to breathe. I need to eat. I need my mom. I need my friends. I need to be happy. I need to succeed. I need to grow stronger physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
“Our necessities never equal our wants” – Benjamin Franklin
These are my needs. Everything else is a want. Everything else can be overlooked if necessary. In my life, I want a lot of things and that’s okay. It’s okay to want things. But you can’t let that hinder you from growing stronger.
Wanting Right Out of Happiness
When I was younger, I was in a terrible relationship. At the time, I thought I needed her. I needed her love. I needed her support. I needed her body against mine. But it got to the point, where I realized some needs are not worth it.
Sometimes, wants are disguised as needs. You convince yourself so badly, that you need something. You lose sight of your true needs. Your wants masquerade in your head and you think, ‘This is it. This is what I need.’
“When we confuse the needs with the desires; all the struggles we take lead to disappointment and unhappiness” – M.F. Moonzajer
Sometimes, wants battle your happiness monster, jockey for control. You want that girl. You want that house. You want that job. When you don’t get it, it injures your happiness monster.
But when you step back and analyze it. I mean, really think about it. Will you go on living if you don’t have that person, that house, that job? I broke up with her and here I am. I’m still here albeit, barely. But living, nonetheless.
Live for Yourself
Wants are necessary to have. They can be extra goals, new achievements to strive for or just general material things. A new iPhone? Sure, why not? But that shouldn’t define you.
The ‘wants’ should be for you. They need to be for you. They are the guides to your success. Healthy ‘wants’ are your Sherpa to the top of Goal Mountain. They should guide you towards the correct path and satiate your happiness monster.
Taking a step back and looking through your life can be dramatic. You take a look at everything you’ve done, the good and ugly. You realize where you were, where you went and how you got there. Who you hurt and whom you helped along the way. But in the end, this is the person I am. This is the person I’ve become and it was influenced by my needs. The wants were secondary and have helped me, but at the same time, injured me.
Wants are a Catch 22.
Write a list of your wants and needs. See where you stand and what you stand for. You’ll be surprised once they are on paper. Prioritize your wants. Keep them short and concise.
If a want is destroying you inside, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, cast it away. You don’t need it.